driftfleet | (no subject)

Who: Billy Kaplan / OTA
Broadcast: Yes
Action: On the Iskaulit
When: After all the chaos is settled!

So… all of that was horrible? I think that goes without saying. The less we have of that kind of thing going forward, the better.

Tangentially, but the personnel augment is kind of useless, isn't it? We get an office but not much in the way of marketable skills, we can't do anything with the ships in the middle of a crisis, we're not here for any big damn hero moments. It’s great if we’ve got other skills for that, but we can’t fix stuff, we can’t pilot people out of danger, we can’t arm those who don’t have powers...

...okay, sorry, I'm rambling. Getting to the point! Truth is, personnel - counselling - is meant for the aftermath. Therapy, in other words. If it doesn't exist where you're from, it pretty much means someone whose job it is to listen to you, no judgments, and offer advice if they can. Sometimes it's enough to just have somebody hear you out.

Anyway, I wanted to say that I'm tired of, like… not contributing much. So I'm gonna have an open door policy. Doesn't matter if you're not on my ship, doesn't matter if I don't even know you. You can even use the comm anonymously if you don't like the idea of coming in person. You make the rules.

If you're wondering about my qualifications… well, I've got ears. That's the most important part. But I did also grow up with this stuff- Mom’s a psychologist, I've seen her work, I’ve read some of her books. And I’ve gone to therapy. Kind of a lot. It's not a substitute for the real thing, but it's what I can offer.

Oh, and for the record, this isn't meant to call out anyone with the personnel augment, or steal your shipmates, or anything! This is more of a call to action. If you want in on this we can set up some kind of network.

I’m setting up shop on the Iskaulit and I’m gonna post active hours there. Stop by if you want to talk more one-on-one about it.

[True to his word, Billy’s in a spare room in the Iskaulit - sign on the door - and is decorating the place, though it’s kind of barebones for the moment. He can magic it pretty, but the last few months have been exhausting, so he’s taking it slow.]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[that's a very serious request that merits a serious answer. Unfortunately, Billy's got zero patience or sympathy for that particular road, so he snorts.]

Yeah, that's not happening, sorry.

[It's the most serious thing he's asked anyone to do, more serious than asking Noel or Gadot to look after Serah. Ant it's just been thrown back in his face.

Again.]

Billy... That thing I became, that's not really me. It's a monster called a cie'th and there's not supposed to be a way back from that.

[Let's not talk about the fact that that's the third time he's come back from it.]

It's just some mindless, soulless killing monster that failed at the most important thing in its life.

Okay, but one: you did come back, and two: did you know you hesitated right before you attacked us? Because that doesn't sell the whole "mindless" thing very well.

[He's not going to mention three: his no-kill policy, because he doesn't want Snow to just automatically jump to finding someone else to kill him off. That's too easy, and there's probably a fair number of people in the fleet who'd do it.]

Not the first time I've come back. Still not supposed to be the case, but when you're dealing with pricks posing as gods, the rules get tossed out. And I didn't know that I hesitated, but it's not that surprising. I don't like hurting people.

And I've always been stubborn.

I'd say ask Lightning, but she's not here.

[And if he isn't a Bitter Betty about that.]

Dunno who that is, but not gonna lie, I'm glad someone who'd agree to kill you isn't around for this.

[not that Snow can't ask someone else, but he's hoping they're not immediately, readily available.

anyway.]

Even if people can come back from the dead here, I don't like it. Avengers don't kill.

[Snow scoffs nastily under his breath.]

No, I'm not luckily enough to get Light to agree to kill me either. She keeps saying I'm too stubborn to die.

[All it means is she doesn't want to kill him and he should feel grateful, but he's just tired.]

I get it. I won't ask you to do it, but I'm also not going to avoid helping anyone that I can in the meantime.

[that's........ good? he'll pretend that's good. it's probably at least a little bit good.]

Dude, nobody's telling you to avoid helping people. ...At least, I'm not. All I'm saying is be careful, work in a group, know your limits. Helping people is good! But if you end up overwhelmed and that happens again, you won't be able to help anyone.

Sorry, me and limits aren't on speaking terms, Billy.

[Snow rubs a hand over his face.]

Look, I'm okay with maybe doing this. I don't know how it's supposed to work. You're the expert.

[oof. he'd disagree on the expert bit, but it's nitpicking- there probably aren't that many people qualified for this, with or without the vaguely helpful augment, so he's among the closest one could get. if Snow's looking for help, he won't say no over a technicality.]

Okay... well, let's start working towards maybe introducing you and limits. But one step at a time- the first rule of thumb is to figure out what makes you comfortable, what might get you talking. Not everybody likes the couch thing. What helps you relax?

Dunno. Been a while since I've felt relaxed.

[Since before Bhunivelze kidnapped Hope.]

Sparring, I guess.

Sparring, huh...

[therapy-training? been a while since he did much of the sort, but Teddy used to talk him through stuff while they trained sometimes, so it's not that far off.]

We could try that. See if it helps you at all, gets you to open up. Trust is a big part of sparring, after all.

Anything's worth the chance. Sitting around here isn't exactly inspiring a desire to spill my guts, if I'm being honest.

Let's do it, then. [He straightens up, capping the paint and dunking the roller in cleaner to let it soak.] I think there's an exercise room around here that can take some abuse.

[Snow stops feeling sorry for himself long enough to really look at the younger man.]

Right now? You wanna go there right now and start throwing punches with me? You're about the same size as the last person I went head-to-head with.

What, do you want to wait a few weeks to see if I inexplicably gain a hundred pounds of muscle and an extra twelve inches?

[buddy, please. this is as good as he gets.]

I do have magic, remember. I can figure a way to even the scales a bit.

[Snow lets out a low chuckle at that.]

I don't think even a few weeks would help you with that.

But I also have magic, so, maybe ground rules would be good if you're really offering yourself as a sparring partner.

[wow, WOW. this makes him want to train super hard and get buff in record time just to prove Snow wrong.

he's not going to, because hell no to that. but he WANTS to, so there.]

I was thinking more along the lines of doing a protective spell so you can't one-punch me into burger meat, but if you wanna have a throwdown wizard fight, I'm all ears.

[Well, he could try, but something tells Snow that Billy is built like Hope. Who was never going to win any bodybuilding contests.

But it didn't make him any less dangerous. And he's got the memory of almost being knifed to prove it, if Billy wants to know for certain.]

You can do the protective spells. I've got a few moves like that of my own. Or we can go head-to-head with magic. I'm fine with either decision.

[he makes up for it by being small and sassy, probably.]

We should probably hold off on the magic duels till we're on a planet. One that isn't so, um, terrible, that is. They can get messy and I don't like the idea of wrecking one of the ships with lightning bolts.