driftfleet | (no subject)

Who: Mikleo + OTA
Broadcast: Voice
Action: Huntress + Iskaulit
When: Today

( a. huntress )

[This place sure is good at getting you complacent and then slamming the door in your face. Mikleo's having a perfectly normal day, playing post-battle catch-up in his room, when Sorey tracks him down to give him the bad news. After that the rest of the day is a write-off; he just can't find the energy to focus on anything but the gut-wrenching loss. Dezel's gone. More than gone home, but rather...

It's hard to think about it, but there's no avoiding the truth. It's something he's been dreading for a long time now- something that's come up in discussions about Zaveid and Eizen. In just a moment, without warning, it could all be over.

Speaking of Zaveid... when he can bring himself to leave Sorey's side, that's his next stop. It'd feel wrong to do this any way but in person.]

( b. voice )

I'm sorry to be the bearer of more bad news- we've had more than our share recently. For those who knew him, Dezel is no longer with us in the fleet.

...while I can't imagine he'd ask for it, if you're so inclined... offer up a prayer in his name. It's how our kind draws strength.

( c. iskaulit )

[Once the hardest parts are done, he starts doing the busy work, so no one else will have to. Step one is to gather up all the creatures Dezel's collected from various planets - the fish, slugs, and lizards - and carry them over to the Iskaulit. The fish go to his water tank, and for a while he watches them flutter about contentedly in their new home amidst the sea greens. After that, he ventures to Edna's mountain to see if they might find a home in all the nature there, though only with Edna's permission. Finally he spends a few hours in the interfaith center, curled up against the seraph altar, idly spinning about the pinwheel. During his whole Iskaulit visit, he's wearing a quasi-replica of Dezel's hat. It takes him a while to get himself home again.]

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[Mikleo's expression says it all- that was... a lot to take in, and for a long moment he's too stunned and stricken to say anything. With Zaveid it's always unexpected, a sudden burst of pain like a dam broken apart by too much pressure over time. And each time he understands a little more, why he keeps it to himself.

What had Zaveid told him, back in the wetlands? "It’s the destiny of a long-lived seraph to make many farewells." And here it is, a story of yet another one, both heartbreaking and far too soon. He must have had so, so many over the centuries...

Mikleo's eyes soften, and very gently he tugs Zaveid into another hug, brushing a hand through his long hair.]

Even when your ass gets kicked, you still manage to help people, don't you? You've done it plenty of times- we've seen it. You helped Dezel as a kid, you helped us avoid getting killed by dragons, you gave us what we needed and joined our family to save the world. And even if we lost him, you helped Dezel find peace.

[His voice goes quiet, grip tightening a little.]

You... you helped me, too. When we lost Sorey you stayed with me. I don't know what would've happened to me if I'd been left alone.

[ It's because sometimes it's hard to think about - all the things he's been through, all the things he's lost. Sometimes the time just feels right and the words come fumbling out because there's no way for him to swallow them back anymore, and it doesn't get easier the more he does it. He feels as though, perhaps, it ought to, but it doesn't. It just makes his stomach twist and his heart feel uncomfortable, and when he glances over at Mikleo he can feel the guilt and regret curl around him.

Mikleo brings out the best and worst in him and sometimes he forgets just how young he and Sorey are. They're just kids, barely anything compared to his centuries, but they're so wise and old for their time. They've been through more in a few short months than some seraphs go through in a lifetime, and it's interesting to see how they react to things, how the world is shaped by their ideals and their dreams.

He breathes out, leaning close, basking, for a moment, in the casual intimacy. ]

Sometimes people just... Need someone. Sometimes it's an ass kicking, sometimes it's something else. It's not hard to be there when they need it, y'know.

[ Slowly, Zaveid's arms sink around Mikleo and he draws him close, voice soft and tender. ]

I'm always gonna be here. You're not gonna be alone. Not ever.

...You know that means the same for you too, right?

[There might come a time when he's okay with being alone- when he might crave the solitude, when he'll be comfortable to wander on his own, free to drift from place to place like the wind, like Zaveid used to. Water is made to be flexible, after all- to shift and phase to make its way through the world. In Elysia he'd been a still pond, shaken only by Sorey's ripples; as a sub-lord he's a winding river, following the path of the Shepherd- first Sorey, now Rose. After that... who knows what he'll become, when he's ready to change again?

It was Dezel who taught him that- to utilize his element, build his own identity and strengths upon it. He won't forget that lesson.

Later, though. For now, he's glad to be spared from this so-called destiny of a long-lived seraph- to lose people, to be alone. He's not ready for that life. And Zaveid's already done more than his share, so why not take comfort with each other?]

You're stuck with us from now on, so you can't be too reckless.

... Yeah.

[ And that's the thing. He's known, for a very long time, that he's never really going to shake Mikleo, Sorey, Edna and Lailah, that the memories of Rose and Dezel and the others will bring him happiness. It's not something he's ashamed of; it's something that makes him happy, being aware that he has such wonderful things in his life, sparks of wonder that bring him joy. They're the spark, the echo of something amazing, and it makes him feel as though he's reaching that point of happiness again, where he can wake up and not feel as though the world is slowly choking him.

It doesn't mean he doesn't worry. His experiences have taught him that nothing lasts forever, and that's what concerns him. He's watched Mikleo die once - did it with his own hands - lost Dezel, lost Rose... A part of him wonders how long it will be until Edna goes, and then Mikleo, and then Sorey, and then Lailah.

It's a fear. It's one he's never going to be able to escape from, no matter how much he keeps running.

Breathing out, he presses his hand flat against Mikleo's back. Zaveid has to try and train himself to live in the moment, to live as a member of a family rather than the exile he's used to being. ]

Psh, me? Reckless? C'mon.

Don't make it sound as if that's unusual.

[This is promising, though- more normal. He'll take the casual flippancy if it means Zaveid will at least accept some comfort at the same time. Baby steps, as the saying goes.

He'd never have imagined, back when they first met, that this is where they'd end up... yet here they are. It really is astonishing.]

I'm sorry that... you've had to lose so much. It isn't right, or fair. And I'm sorry that it keeps happening. I am glad that you don't have to face it by yourself anymore, though. So if you're gonna be reckless, make sure you bring us along with you.

It's not as usual...

[ He's been pretty good over the last few weeks, actually. He's proud of himself.

To be fair, however, there has been no dragons or monsters or anything. Just their ship and the people on the planet he could do nothing for.

Shaking his head, Zaveid closes his eyes a little tighter, gritting his teeth. It's hard, so hard, and he feels something tense coil inside him, burning up through his throat and behind his eyes. He doesn't know what to say, but he knows he has to say something. ]

That's how the world goes sometimes. No one can live forever. [ And some people get their time cut short. ] ... I'm not gonna leave you behind.

Damn right you're not. And neither are we.

[and he'll keep firm about that one, despite their shared grief, everything they've experienced, all the potential for loss going forward. he can't make empty promises of a future he doesn't know- he can't vow that they'll never be separated or lost. the world, all worlds, are too uncertain for something like that, and he won't be made a liar.

he can promise, at the very least, that any permanent separation won't be a conscious decision on his part. he - all of them - will fight tooth and nail for this family. for some of them it's all they have.]