driftfleet | [Semi-open] Stress finally takes its toll

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[Semi-open] Stress finally takes its toll

Who: Shiro and Ulaz, Shiro and you
Broadcast: No
Action: on Duotera (for Ulaz), the SS Blameless (open)
When: Throughout this week
Warnings for the Ulaz thread: Mentions of Shiro's year in captivity, possible mentions of torture, experimentation and losing his arm; Shiro having a panic attack with flashes of said memories.

1. Closed to Ulaz

[After a really, really shitty month, Shiro must admit it: Ulaz arriving has been a blessing for his mood. Part of him knows it's messed up that people are brought back from death, but it's not like he can do anything about Atroma's plans (yet, he hopes) and damn if he won't enjoy something nice actually happening to him for a change.

He already lost one "purple". Let him have the other.

They arrive to a nice system, too, which also helps, considering they're still waiting for the third dream to happen. One less thing to worry about. So the main issue in Shiro's mind now is... questions. So many of them. When Ulaz arrived, Shiro wanted to give the poor man time to settle down, so he kept himself in check. But he can't wait any longer.

So time to make a good use of the planets! Duoatera has a nice climate and beautiful hills, so Shiro invites Ulaz for a hike. With only nature (and Procyon of course) surrounding then, they can have a private and calm conversation while exploring. So here is Shiro now, near the hills area, dressed in a nice jacket and ready to go, dog sitting next to him like a good boy.

He smiles when he sees Ulaz approach.] Hey. I'm glad you came. Have you ever gone hiking before?

2. Open - SS Blameless

[Maybe you heard from Ulaz, or from Shiro's teammates, or his crew - or maybe you've just been wondering why Shiro hasn't been around much. But the story is only one: someone finally passed out from all the stress and is now stuck in bed. And hey, maybe you've also been wondering why that someone hasn't taken the captain's room when he's now the only captain of the ship.

Well, wonder no more! Because that's where he is now. You can thank the very tall and very strong purple alien for that.

They haven't moved his stuff yet, but Procyon (now quite bigger and with longer hair) is there with him, taking advantage of the bigger bed and taking care of his master at the same time. And Shiro does have his communicator and tablet, because resting isn't a word he knows of.

He's bored, alright.

So if you're visiting him, you'll find him going through documents on his tablet. Please stop him before stress starts going up again.

Or maybe you are just passing by for whatever reason, making your way through the Blameless' slippery hallways. Since the captain's room currently has the door open (you can also thank the alien for that), Shiro will see you walk by and take the chance to speak up.]

Excuse me, can I ask you for a favor, please? [He almost sounds... ashamed? To be asking this. He feels silly asking for little things he could be doing himself, okay.]

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[Yeah... it would, and Keith caught on to that right away. He frowned a bit in concern.]

It affected you that badly?

[Guess what? Oh yes, Shiro is taking his time making his move again to delay the answer. It seems this is going to be his repeating tactic today.]

I... snapped at him. I got angrier and angrier, it was getting hard to breathe. Then he mentioned something that triggered the panic attack. [A sigh. Obviously this attack didn't end like others had in the past.] He thinks it has to do with stress.

[He thinks? Shiro, it is.]

[Keith watched the board so Shiro didn't have to feel like he was under scrutiny. Though, he sort of still was, in a way. Keith was listening closely to more than just the words.]

What did he say?

[His tone was gentle, coaxing it a bit, but leaving Shiro the chance to back out if he wanted. But, Keith wanted to be sure that this was just a thing that happened. He trusted Ulaz, but he was more worried about Shiro.]

[If what Ulaz said had to do with the torture he went through, with the gladiator matches or anything similar, then he would consider not answering. But it wasn't the case, and they're already talking about this anyway, so may as well.]

It wasn't anything big. "You need to calm down, you need to stop this." It doesn't sound like much, but my brain suddenly remembered a time when he said the same back... [Back in the prison ship.] Back then.

[Keith wasn't even really paying attention to the game anymore, but he moved a piece anyway...]

So, he triggered a flashback... But... you've never passed out from one before.

Are you okay?

I'm fine! [He sounds really tired of that question, only two steps away from snapping.] Ulaz said stress just probably caught up with me and together with the flashback made a bad combo. You don't need to worry, alright?

[Keith looked a little hurt. Why wouldn't he worry?]

Shiro... Of course I worry about you. You're important to me.

Don't shut me out.

I am not--!

[Oh, don't give him that look, you'll make him feel like shit! Shiro sighs and pinches the bridge of his nose. It's been a long day... or more like a long, long month.]

I told you everything that happened, not details were kept secret. I swear. I don't know why this time it was different. Ulaz said it's the stress finally catching up with my body. [He looks around the room -the captain's room (her room)- and throws his upper body back on the pillows, closing his eyes when Procyon comes to nuzzle his face.] Maybe I'm just tired.

[There. He can admit that much.]

[Keith flinched a little when Shiro almost snapped at him. He stared down at the board, the game forgotten for the moment, especially when the dog managed to wedge in between Shiro and Keith like that. Keith nodded a little, giving a small sigh.]

It's okay to be tired, Shiro. It's okay to take some time for yourself.

[Some silence at first, thinking over those words, petting Procyon while feeling like shit for his reaction. There has been so much happening, both at home and here, how do you even deal with all? Back in their world, war kept them busy. Here though...]

...I have more time for myself here than what I know with. [Which means time alone with his thoughts.] I just want to get off this bed.

I know.

[Keith definitely knew the feeling. Any time he felt good enough to go, but wasn't quite there, yet, he'd always get impatient and fidgety.]

But pushing yourself too soon isn't good, either. We don't have to do that here.

[Back home? That was a different story. They needed to recover fast. They needed to push themselves hard. But it wasn't like that here.]

[...ouch. Another pause before Shiro finally asks without meeting Keith's eyes.]

You think I'm pushing myself?

[REALLY, SHIRO?]

Sometimes.

[Keith paused, considering his next words.]

Look... we all do it. I know that. But you'd be forcing me to rest, too, if I'd passed out for some reason. It's only fair that you give yourself the same chance to get that rest. It's not like we're telling you to retire or something. Just rest for a while. Let yourself get your strength back.

Don't even joke about retirement.

[Quite an irony coming from mister morbid humor, isn't it. After everyone, especially Ulaz, have been on him for not resting, he's actually slowly giving up and considering Keith's words. Success?! Hard to ignore that call-out to his hypocrisy...

It reminds him of that promise he made, back during calibrations. He's supposed to be working on this, right? When did it everything go downhill again? (When Kate left, that's when, and thank god his picture college isn't here right now, the bedroom is nerve wrecking enough.)]

I don't know how much strength I'll get from this... [He feels perfectly strong, thank you!] But I'll try.

[That's his way of accepting to stay in bed, happy now?]

[Keith managed a small wry smile at the comment about retirement.]

Okay.

[He looked down at the board.]

Looks like Procyon messed up our game.

[He snots while giving Procyon some pats becase he's a good boy, thank you.]

Something tells me you don't actually mind that much.

[Keith smiled a bit and then shook his head a little.]

Honestly? Not really.

[He chuckled softly and started petting the dog.]

Good boy, Procyon.

[Shiro shakes his head when his dogs tail starts wagging against the bed like crazy.]

My dog gets more attention then me, I see how it is now.

Hey... he's soft and furry. When you sprout a cute fluffy tail, maybe you'll get the same attention.

[Keith chuckled a little.]

[Shiro shakes his head. It's a gesture of fondness! Maybe.]

You're just coming up with excuses not to play chess.

Fine.

[Keith gave Shiro a look.]

You wanna play a real game? We'll have to start over. Your dog messed up the board.

Once. How many times have you messed up the board?

[He grabs Procyon and puts him on the other side of his lap before he starts putting the pieces on their starting spot again.]