driftfleet | [ open ] .002 though I am empty, I still warn the sailors on their way

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[ open ] .002 though I am empty, I still warn the sailors on their way

Who: Katara
Broadcast: Written, Video
Action: Yes! Blue Fish and Planet
When: Message sent Monday, midmorning. Some backdated shuffle action.

[After giving it some thought, Katara decided to make an open network post. She wanted to write it out, but as part of her habit from living with Toph, she decided to both transcribe and say it aloud:]

I want to thank the person who put the memorial into place. If you get in touch with me, I can help you get the number to fill in.

I know that a lot of us have been pretty impacted by what we found here. I don’t know how long we’re usually on a planet, but I was thinking… it might be good to have some kind of remembering ceremony by the memorial? It feels important to find a way to show honor to the lives that were lost here. I don’t know what kind of funeral rites they would have preferred, and there’s no way to respectfully move them, so… maybe some fire and some music? Does anyone have any ideas?

I know that this might not be for them as much as it is for us, but… I think that’s important too.

(OOC: Please feel free to threadjack all up in this conversation; Katara would like to make this a community effort, because it feels like it’s something that’s needed to her.)

[The confetti is still as annoying as the last time it happened, but Katara is happy to be on her brother’s ship. She’ll want to wander around and meet everyone, though no doubt Sokka will soon join her to give her an Official Tour. (Did she really need to know every single detail about the ship and all its history? Probably not, but now she does, unless someone saves her.) She’ll spend some time in the kitchen and try to figure out what she needs to bring up from the planet, and then do the same thing in her new room.

Before she heads back down to the planet, she’s going to try to linger long enough to meet everyone.]

[Since the Blue Fish will likely be her permanent home as long as she’s on the fleet, that means that Katara will be doing what she can to take advantage of the free… everything. Her first stop is a hardware store where she picks up a wheelbarrow and several cans of water-based paint. The color - some shade of blue, though she wants something a little lighter too. She’ll be there pondering over choices for a bit.

She also has no qualms about stealing a good idea from the Vanquish when she sees it, and will pick up a chalkboard for the kitchen there as well. She spends a long time staring at a small electrically powered fountain for noise, trying to decide whether or not to get it. For now, she walks away.]

Hmm… maybe I should get different chair too?

[So feel free to find her, either at the hardware store or wheelbarrowing her way back to the shuttles! After dropping the paint off in the cargo hold, she’ll return once more to the planet for a bunch of canned fruits and vegetables and rice… and maybe go back for that fountain.]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[Everyone deals with loss and death in their own way; however, Katara has learned one thing the hard way: It is important to deal with it. This is easier, because the wound isn't personal, it makes it easier to acknowledge the cut.]

Oh. I was under the impression that this sort of thing wasn't -- normal -- for the people here to see. [Do they really see so much destruction and ruin? That's...] I'm... really sorry to hear that's not the case.

Edited 2018-04-12 01:21 (UTC)

The particular details of this tragedy aren't normal, no. But for nearly a year now many of the systems we've been bounced through have been -- difficult visits.

[ it's hard, now, to note that change: was there ever really a time when there was less mess and mayhem? or is she merely remembering it differently now that she's intent on making a home for herself here in the fleet? ]

[She frowns a little. She's heard about cannibals. She's just recently heard about the meteor. It's hard to believe, if all these things have only taken place in the past year, that it's unrelated... But then, she doesn't know yet if they've all taken place in the last year.

Don't make assumptions.]

Difficult in what way?

Violent. Chaotic. Or -- sometimes it's simply the fact that we don't feel as though we're there long enough to make any decent impact, depending on the state of the place.

[Quietly:] That sounds very frustrating.

[...] What kind of 'impact' have you been hoping to make on these planets?

My first mate [ why can't she say fiance? good god ] likes to take accommodations on the planets themselves. Offer as much free labour as he can -- either storing up provisions or we once spent a lot of time on a planet that was cloaked in a poisonous gas. He's convinced it's our duty to do what we can to make things easier for the people we visit.

[Well, Katara didn't really have any problem with those goals, outside of the free labor part. She didn't mind giving help to people who couldn't afford it, but if they could, and if she needed to buy things like food... She'd much rather be paid.

But. She's curious about something else.]

Do they really need so much help everywhere we go, with things that can be solved easily like... With labor?

I'm not convinced they need it. Steve, my first mate, however -- he's a touch particular about proceeding as though even the smallest effort can tip the scales.

[ peggy prefers to look at a larger picture. despite this, they tolerate each others' philosophies just fine. ]

[That's... interesting, but not really what she was asking. Katara realizes that she needs to refine her question, so she pauses for a moment in thought.]

I guess what I mean to ask is... are the people in the planets we visit usually trying to help themselves too? Or are our visits a... catalyst? [Thinking back on her time in the Fire Nation, the Earth Kingdom...] And when help is offered, do they want to take it?

They do, yes. For the most part. [ a pause; she thinks her answer through. ] Although the variety is staggering. Some places we visit and find they're clearly doing far better than we are. After all, we're often dependent on them for fresher foodstuffs. Arguably, some stops help us far more than we could ever help them.

[ ... ]

I'm sorry. There's no easy answer. Sometimes we turn up somewhere that's been struggling for a while, somewhere our troubles follow us there, and sometimes it's nothing more than a glorified shopping centre hung between the stars.

Right, of course. [Right. Right. Different planets, different situations.] That makes sense.

...I guess I just can't help but try to look for a pattern, a reason why we stop where we stop.

I've tried.

[ peggy doesn't consider these skills a secret any longer. once upon a time, they were -- the sort of thing she'd risk execution by revealing. even now, she doesn't straight out say breaking codes is something of a professional feather in my cap.

but she doesn't hide the interest like she used to. ]

There's no way to get clean data, frankly. All our best instruments fall under the Atroma's purview.

[Clean data? About where they're going and what they're doing? What can be more clean than their own experiences...

Unless Peggy thought those were being warped by the augments?]

What do you mean?

Not much of a pattern can be discerned from the visits themselves -- different climates, different systems. Sometimes, it's not a planet we visit but a sort of man-made structure hanging in space. Once, I'd hoped that star charts or maps might give us a clue but...

[ that's where the problem of clean data crops up. ]

Our systems are their systems. Even these devices we use to talk to one another.

...yes, I see what you mean.

[She sighs a little.]

I wish there was more to do than the best we can and wait for an opportunity. [She's got lots of practice at waiting. She hates it.] But it's just as silly to fool ourselves with false conclusions as it is to stop looking for them.

I don't disagree.

[ but peggy has never believed it's ever been as easy as one or the other. she chafes against the idea of false dichotomies -- and, as such, the ex-codebreaker's mind is always quietly aware of new data. it gets noted, annotated, and committed to an analog source. books, papers, nothing digitized.

but then there's the simple matter of growing settled. of looking at a life that just might be possible. one that isn't possible back home. ]

But I do believe our efforts to look for a pattern are likely being foiled. And actively.

[She nods a little. Well... there was hardly any reason to believe otherwise.]

I don't know much about patterns like that, but just because it's being blocked doesn't mean we should stop looking for the reason why they're doing this. Everyone makes mistakes, and they will too, eventually.

[ peggy hesitates. ]

You're not wrong. [ which is why she's quick to add on: ] I hope you're not mistaking my acknowledgement of our hurdles as an unwillingness to leap them.

[ ordinarily she shouldn't care whether anyone was mistaking anything. but she's a ship's captain, now. there's a role to play in that. ]

No, not at all. [Said as if the thought had never occurred to her, as really, it hadn't.] It's just... good to hear and good to say sometimes. I know how... draining a place like this can be.

[And in fact, she's still drained from where she'd been, as she remembers it, just before waking up here. These places are exhausting on the emotional resiliency.]

[ softly, and with a funny hint of hesitation: ] It's not all draining.

[ -- she doesn't usually bring this perspective up when the arrivals are still so new. but, god, it can't be helped. too often now she wakes up with happy butterflies in her stomach. it's almost embarrassing. ]

[ She sounds like she's referring to something specific. Katara responds with a small, upward turn of her lips and a question. ]

...no?

In the beginning, it's rather easy to write off the very organization of the fleet -- her ships and crews -- as a cheap means to keep us under thumb. Emotionally connected. Manipulated, in a sense. [ ... ] But it doesn't change how real these families become.

[ closer than any unit she's been party to, barring one. ]

Nor how real our opportunities are. [ peggy's cheeks puff. ] The fleet offers a great many lessons in how to live with as few regrets as possible.

[ The first bit of that, Katara understands. The second takes her by surprise. ]

What do you mean by that? What kind of lessons?

There are two members of this fleet I was quite convinced were dead. Without being here, without learning what I have, it would have been a damn long time before I realized that's not the case.

[ it's the...simplest way to say it. ]

[ ...that... doesn't mean anything outside of the fleet. But the immediate nature of relief for now - that she can understand. ]

That must have been good news, I'm glad. [ So... she's got people she cares about here, who she doesn't think are alive back home... that can be a very tempting thing. ] I've found that the people in places like this can make being in them be... [ almost bearable ] worth it, in the end.

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