arrival

[ragingbanner]

Who: Bruce Banner + anyone else!
Broadcast: Yes
Action: SS Caprine
When: June 18

[broadcast; video]

[He's managed to make the transition to the Caprine without too much difficulty, but now that's he's "settling in", Bruce is realizing just what being on a ship long term means.]

So, this is it. We just play along with this show, act like nothing is wrong, and hope we eventually get to our destination? That's optimistic. How do you manage to live on ships like this for so long? I've never- This is... it doesn't seem like a good idea.

[He smiles uneasily. He has to resist the urge to pick at his own body, making him twitch a bit. At least he hasn't had any issues so far?]

The food isn't very good either.

[Action on the SS Caprine]

[At least he's used to lab work! Bruce is relieved that is assignment is something he's familiar with (although he did manage to fly a ship once...) and he spends a good amount of time poking around at the ship's equipment, testing both what it can do and what knowledge seems to come to him, because he definitely hasn't worked on a space ship like this before. Or worked around people this casually either. Not to mention the enclosed space makes him very aware of how tight it would be if he were bigger.

That's a great thought.]

Comments

[ragingbanner]

[ Oh, boy. He wants to give Natasha a real explanation - she's earned that; she deserves it - but coming out with what was really going on those two years for him is so close to the pressure point of his fear and self-loathing that actually putting it to words is like climbing a window. ]

I was... I wasn't myself.

[ And here's another regret. Another missed opportunity because Bruce Banner always runs. ]

[outstandingbalance]

The big guy. [It's not a question. Even if Thor hadn't told her, Natasha would have been able to piece that one together. Not exactly hard to see. But that doesn't mean she doesn't have questions.] The whole time? That's not usually how it works.

[Or it wasn't. They'd got to a place where Bruce could call on the Hulk, and Natasha could bring him down. They'd had things under control, they thought.]

[ragingbanner]

[ He swallows a thick lump in his throat. The truth comes with so much weight. The fear of what might happen rises back up as a reminder that he's still not all himself. He's tied to a comet and even though he doesn't regret it quite as much now, he still worries about just how much that burning powerhouse can take and never give back. ]

I. I don't know what happened. It was like he took over and didn't want to put me back.

[outstandingbalance]

[That's more than slightly worrying. As she's sure Bruce is already aware. Natasha tries not to make it worse by putting her concerns on him, but they're there, behind her questions.]

Even when you couldn't control it before, he always went away eventually... [She's read the files. She's seen it in action.] Not this time.

But you were able to come back eventually.

[ragingbanner]

[He owes it to Natasha to tell her the truth. Talking about it still makes Bruce nervous, but he pushes through for her.]

We- All the other times it felt like I had some control. We were sharing some influence, even if it wasn't always equal. But this time was different. I- I don't know if I would have come back if Thor hadn't have snapped me out of it. It was like, I dunno, it was like he had me locked out.

[outstandingbalance]

How did Thor bring you back? [Not the Lullaby. From the sound of it, they probably can't count on that anymore.

That could be a problem.]

[ragingbanner]

I don't- know.

[Does that count as a lie? He isn't entirely sure how it happened, but he does have an idea. An impression of what happened. He wants to say something else, something he's convinced of but has no concrete memory for.

He didn't.

He believes that, but without a better explanation or answer, it just seems like a false sentiment he's using to convince himself that he still has some control and that their past methods might still work. Natasha won't accept that sort of blind faith solution.]

I thought I heard you calling me.

[outstandingbalance]

[A beat of silence after that, her mouth tightening though her expression doesn't quite change. She swallows.

Nice to know she had got through to him eventually? It seems like so long ago now.]

I'm glad you were able to come back.