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[Mikleo doesn't bother trying to use the communicator. As soon as he's aware of the announcement he heads over to Zaveid's room, doesn't even knock- just tries the door and when he finds it open, goes to sit down in the grass near where Zaveid is, idly brushing his fingers against a few of the plants decorating the room.]
It's dry in here. I'm going to water them, okay?
[Let's not talk about That Thing yet.]
It's dry in here. I'm going to water them, okay?
[Let's not talk about That Thing yet.]
[ Zaveid has long since learned there's no point in locking his door - Mikleo and Sorey will find a way in even if he doesn't want them to. For now, he's laying in the middle of the floor in his room, eyes closed as he breathes in and out, in and out, swallowing in the air around him. ]
Sounds good, Mikleo.
[ He waves his hand, motioning towards some of the sadder looking plants. ]
Sounds good, Mikleo.
[ He waves his hand, motioning towards some of the sadder looking plants. ]
[Yeah Sorey had already been creeping his way over, he's just not bothering trying to be subtle about it.
Once he arrives he doesn't enter immediately; just leans against the doorway, hands clasped behind his back. He'd told Zaveid he shouldn't let being afraid of losing Eizen get in the way of having a real relationship with him, and now look what's happened.]
Once he arrives he doesn't enter immediately; just leans against the doorway, hands clasped behind his back. He'd told Zaveid he shouldn't let being afraid of losing Eizen get in the way of having a real relationship with him, and now look what's happened.]
[ Laying there in the middle of his garden is easy - it doesn't take much energy to sit and act as though there's no weight on his shoulders. Lifting his head, he glances over when he hears Sorey approach, hesitating for a moment before he waves his hand, absent and unconcerned. ]
You can come in.
You can come in.
[Mikleo hadn't really expected a fight - the fight's always with getting Zaveid to talk - but he's glad about it, regardless. Quietly he reaches out and presses his fingers to the soil, calling up his element to feed their thirst. He's quiet for a moment as he works, focusing on getting every one of them.]
We should find some new plants for you sometime, these might not be perennials. What do you think, maybe something with more colour?
We should find some new plants for you sometime, these might not be perennials. What do you think, maybe something with more colour?
[ It's difficult to move, and Zaveid doesn't really have the energy for it. Instead, he lets his eyes follow Mikleo around the room, quiet and almost thoughtful before he manages to find something to say, some words to speak. ]
Sure. Maybe blue, or yellow.
Sure. Maybe blue, or yellow.
I like the sound of that. I'll look around for some- I've been meaning to get some flowers for the ship, anyway.
[It feels a bit too brown, especially lately, now that they're on such a gloomy planet.
Once the watering is done, he moves to sit down next to Zaveid, bumping up against the older seraph's body.]
...I'm sorry, Zaveid.
[It feels a bit too brown, especially lately, now that they're on such a gloomy planet.
Once the watering is done, he moves to sit down next to Zaveid, bumping up against the older seraph's body.]
...I'm sorry, Zaveid.
Maybe you and Sorey can figure it out when we land somewhere nice.
[ He should take better care of his flowers, he thinks. He should take better care of a lot of things that he doesn't.
Finally, Mikleo comes over and Zaveid breathes out, lifting his arm to cover his face. ]
... Yeah. [ What is he supposed to say? ]
[ He should take better care of his flowers, he thinks. He should take better care of a lot of things that he doesn't.
Finally, Mikleo comes over and Zaveid breathes out, lifting his arm to cover his face. ]
... Yeah. [ What is he supposed to say? ]
[Mikleo's not sure what there is to say either, at least for his part. He's wondered, sometimes, how he would feel if Sorey suddenly vanished from here, since their relationship is the closest he can imagine to that of Zaveid and Eizen. He's felt it already, to an extent. Back home Sorey is asleep, and they have no idea how long it'll be like that; more than a hundred years confirmed, possibly several hundreds of years. With the way malevolence spreads in waves and how rare Shepherds still are, he might never wake up. And even if he does, there's still a chance that he won't survive it, or that he'll be reborn a seraph and forget Mikleo, or that Mikleo himself won't survive long enough to see his return. So many things could go wrong.
He has hope, though. Whatever their chances, until that day comes, he'll always have hope. Eizen's dead. He can't begin to fathom that despair, not like Sorey or Edna could.
He himself had been the one to die too, after all.
Instead of saying anything, he shifts over, sliding his hands under Zaveid's head to tug his hair free, running his fingers gently through the strands. Sometimes you can't say anything. Sometimes you just need to sit, and support, and listen, and that's something Mikleo's done with Sorey for years, many many times. He's got plenty of practice with this.
And if Zaveid wants to talk about it, he'll be here.]
He has hope, though. Whatever their chances, until that day comes, he'll always have hope. Eizen's dead. He can't begin to fathom that despair, not like Sorey or Edna could.
He himself had been the one to die too, after all.
Instead of saying anything, he shifts over, sliding his hands under Zaveid's head to tug his hair free, running his fingers gently through the strands. Sometimes you can't say anything. Sometimes you just need to sit, and support, and listen, and that's something Mikleo's done with Sorey for years, many many times. He's got plenty of practice with this.
And if Zaveid wants to talk about it, he'll be here.]
[ What is surprising is that Zaveid doesn't protest it; he leans into it, breathing out a sharp noise. He's not crying, but there's tension inside of him that is undeniable. He holds on to Sorey and he shakes, just a little, the wind curling around them. ]
[ Zaveid wants to admit that he was alright, that he was comfortable, that he was adjusting, but he can't. He had been so close to Eizen, closer to him than he had been to anyone else, and it's obvious in the shake of his shoulders as Mikleo moves closer and begins to tug his hair free, stroking fingers through it with a tenderness that Zaveid doesn't think he deserves.
He killed Eizen. Eizen is going back to a world where he is going to die by Zaveid's hands. A world where a grave lies at the top of a mountain, where Zaveid is moving forward to a time where he is alone again. It haunts him, all the lives that have been lost, all the dragons that have curled around him; Theodora, Silva, Laphicet, Eizen, Mikleo. Dezel, lost to Malevolence.
Closing his eyes, Zaveid swallows, tilting his head back, fingers stroking over the bracelets that Dezel had given him. ]
He knew. At least this time he knew.
He killed Eizen. Eizen is going back to a world where he is going to die by Zaveid's hands. A world where a grave lies at the top of a mountain, where Zaveid is moving forward to a time where he is alone again. It haunts him, all the lives that have been lost, all the dragons that have curled around him; Theodora, Silva, Laphicet, Eizen, Mikleo. Dezel, lost to Malevolence.
Closing his eyes, Zaveid swallows, tilting his head back, fingers stroking over the bracelets that Dezel had given him. ]
He knew. At least this time he knew.
[When Zavied turns into his arms rather than away, rather than laying still and allowing Sorey to comfort him- when he seeks Sorey instead, the Shepherd pushes himself up onto his knees, pulls Zaveid into his lap and curls over him.
Sorey can't do anything to protect his seraph from this. And he wants to tell Zaveid we'll get him back. Him, and Dezel, we'll get them both back, but now isn't the time for promises and platitudes. Now is the time to allow Zaveid to grieve, without forcing him to pick himself back up.
I'll hold you together. I'm your vessel.
Sorey murmurs wordless nothings and strokes Zaveid's hair, shields him from the world around them with his cloak, his arms, his heart. He can't protect Zaveid from the world.
But he can hide him away from it...at least for a little while.]
Sorey can't do anything to protect his seraph from this. And he wants to tell Zaveid we'll get him back. Him, and Dezel, we'll get them both back, but now isn't the time for promises and platitudes. Now is the time to allow Zaveid to grieve, without forcing him to pick himself back up.
I'll hold you together. I'm your vessel.
Sorey murmurs wordless nothings and strokes Zaveid's hair, shields him from the world around them with his cloak, his arms, his heart. He can't protect Zaveid from the world.
But he can hide him away from it...at least for a little while.]
Edited 2018-08-06 14:56 (UTC)
[ He doesn't want to cry. That's what he tells himself; he doesn't want to cry. It's not that he thinks it's a sign of weakness or that he thinks it makes him lesser, it's that he doesn't want to give into the urge to be miserable, to fall apart, even in front of Sorey. He doesn't want to give in to his grief, no matter how fresh and heavy it is.
Zaveid can still hear Eizen's laugh. He can still feel the touch of his hand and his mouth, can still visualise the shake of his head and the way they would shove one another. The way they would lie in the grass and talk, or hold hands, or how Eizen comforted him, or -
all the memories that Zaveid had forgotten over the years, all the things that had slipped his mind. Memories of dragons had been replaced with real things, better than before. It hurts because it is an opportunity he took, afraid of the outcome, and suffered in the end anyway.
His arms slip around Sorey, as best he can, squeezing around him, his body shaking.
Zaveid cries, quiet, sad tears, gripping at Sorey, unafraid in the wake of his Shepherd. The one person he could trust with his grief. Sorey understands; he lost Mikleo. It's the same. It's the same. ]
Zaveid can still hear Eizen's laugh. He can still feel the touch of his hand and his mouth, can still visualise the shake of his head and the way they would shove one another. The way they would lie in the grass and talk, or hold hands, or how Eizen comforted him, or -
all the memories that Zaveid had forgotten over the years, all the things that had slipped his mind. Memories of dragons had been replaced with real things, better than before. It hurts because it is an opportunity he took, afraid of the outcome, and suffered in the end anyway.
His arms slip around Sorey, as best he can, squeezing around him, his body shaking.
Zaveid cries, quiet, sad tears, gripping at Sorey, unafraid in the wake of his Shepherd. The one person he could trust with his grief. Sorey understands; he lost Mikleo. It's the same. It's the same. ]
[They stay like that for a long time; long enough for Sorey's legs to ache, though he would never dare move. Not when Zaveid is holding him, trusting him with this, with his grief and his vulnerability. Not when he's opening himself up, honest and painful, and trusting Sorey with the fragility of how he feels.
And Sorey- maybe he doesn't understand it fully, but he understands it well enough.
It's the same as you and Mikleo.
Zaveid had told him that in the clinic after everything, dry-eyed and tired, and somehow Sorey's already broken heart had cracked further just thinking of someone else in the same pain he was in. That agony is in the past almost two years now, but Sorey will never forget the emptiness and darkness that lived inside him in the wake of Mikleo's death.
As he lets his own tears fall silently into Zaveid's hair, it's like it happened yesterday. And as painful as it is, Sorey at least can still cling to that determined hope that they'll bring Eizen and Dezel back. That it's possible, so it's something he- they must do. For Edna. For Zaveid.
For himself.
--
Only after Zaveid's spent all the tears he has does Sorey finally unfold from around him, back sore, rubbing a hand up and down Zaveid's arm.]
We'll get him back, [Sorey whispers hoarsely, turning to dry his own face on his shoulder, sniffing hard. It's safe to say it now.] Him and Dezel both. We'll get them back.
And Sorey- maybe he doesn't understand it fully, but he understands it well enough.
It's the same as you and Mikleo.
Zaveid had told him that in the clinic after everything, dry-eyed and tired, and somehow Sorey's already broken heart had cracked further just thinking of someone else in the same pain he was in. That agony is in the past almost two years now, but Sorey will never forget the emptiness and darkness that lived inside him in the wake of Mikleo's death.
As he lets his own tears fall silently into Zaveid's hair, it's like it happened yesterday. And as painful as it is, Sorey at least can still cling to that determined hope that they'll bring Eizen and Dezel back. That it's possible, so it's something he- they must do. For Edna. For Zaveid.
For himself.
--
Only after Zaveid's spent all the tears he has does Sorey finally unfold from around him, back sore, rubbing a hand up and down Zaveid's arm.]
We'll get him back, [Sorey whispers hoarsely, turning to dry his own face on his shoulder, sniffing hard. It's safe to say it now.] Him and Dezel both. We'll get them back.
[Zaveid talking about it freely is a surprise, and it's not one that Mikleo is going to question. He merely counts his blessings and tries, gently, to encourage it.]
Knew what?
[Because there's a couple of potential answers, and whatever his guesses might be, he wants to hear Zaveid confirm it.]
Knew what?
[Because there's a couple of potential answers, and whatever his guesses might be, he wants to hear Zaveid confirm it.]
[ It's difficult to stop the tears; once they've started it's like a well has broken, and Zaveid feels desperate and uneasy. He's never cried like this before, not really, never let himself. His emotions have always been bottled away somewhere deep inside himself, centuries of loss and longing burning through him like acid from top to bottom. With Sorey holding him... He feels less like he's going to melt if he does it. He feels less like he's going to break.
He grips onto his Shepherd, onto his son, and he doesn't let go. He can't, for fear that he'll lose himself again.
When they relax, when it all falls away, Zaveid breathes, eyes closed. He feels sticky and damp, he feels hurt, he feels aching, but he feels better, too. The weight is still there, but it's shared, easier to bear, better, now.
He has something of Theodora's, something of Dezel's. He wishes he had something of Eizen's, too. ]
Yeah. [ His voice is hoarse and sad. ] Yeah, we will. And then they're gonna kick my ass for having them both.
He grips onto his Shepherd, onto his son, and he doesn't let go. He can't, for fear that he'll lose himself again.
When they relax, when it all falls away, Zaveid breathes, eyes closed. He feels sticky and damp, he feels hurt, he feels aching, but he feels better, too. The weight is still there, but it's shared, easier to bear, better, now.
He has something of Theodora's, something of Dezel's. He wishes he had something of Eizen's, too. ]
Yeah. [ His voice is hoarse and sad. ] Yeah, we will. And then they're gonna kick my ass for having them both.
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