text

[airily]

Who: Zaveid and open
Broadcast: Fleetwide
Action: On the Huntress
When: Post-shuffle

For anyone who knew him, Eizen is gone.

Eleanor too.

Guess they've gone home.

Comments

action; huntress

[tsunergy]

[Mikleo doesn't bother trying to use the communicator. As soon as he's aware of the announcement he heads over to Zaveid's room, doesn't even knock- just tries the door and when he finds it open, goes to sit down in the grass near where Zaveid is, idly brushing his fingers against a few of the plants decorating the room.]

It's dry in here. I'm going to water them, okay?

[Let's not talk about That Thing yet.]

[airily]

[ Zaveid has long since learned there's no point in locking his door - Mikleo and Sorey will find a way in even if he doesn't want them to. For now, he's laying in the middle of the floor in his room, eyes closed as he breathes in and out, in and out, swallowing in the air around him. ]

Sounds good, Mikleo.

[ He waves his hand, motioning towards some of the sadder looking plants. ]

[tsunergy]

[Mikleo hadn't really expected a fight - the fight's always with getting Zaveid to talk - but he's glad about it, regardless. Quietly he reaches out and presses his fingers to the soil, calling up his element to feed their thirst. He's quiet for a moment as he works, focusing on getting every one of them.]

We should find some new plants for you sometime, these might not be perennials. What do you think, maybe something with more colour?

[airily]

[ It's difficult to move, and Zaveid doesn't really have the energy for it. Instead, he lets his eyes follow Mikleo around the room, quiet and almost thoughtful before he manages to find something to say, some words to speak. ]

Sure. Maybe blue, or yellow.

[tsunergy]

I like the sound of that. I'll look around for some- I've been meaning to get some flowers for the ship, anyway.

[It feels a bit too brown, especially lately, now that they're on such a gloomy planet.

Once the watering is done, he moves to sit down next to Zaveid, bumping up against the older seraph's body.]

...I'm sorry, Zaveid.

[airily]

Maybe you and Sorey can figure it out when we land somewhere nice.

[ He should take better care of his flowers, he thinks. He should take better care of a lot of things that he doesn't.

Finally, Mikleo comes over and Zaveid breathes out, lifting his arm to cover his face. ]

... Yeah. [ What is he supposed to say? ]

[tsunergy]

[Mikleo's not sure what there is to say either, at least for his part. He's wondered, sometimes, how he would feel if Sorey suddenly vanished from here, since their relationship is the closest he can imagine to that of Zaveid and Eizen. He's felt it already, to an extent. Back home Sorey is asleep, and they have no idea how long it'll be like that; more than a hundred years confirmed, possibly several hundreds of years. With the way malevolence spreads in waves and how rare Shepherds still are, he might never wake up. And even if he does, there's still a chance that he won't survive it, or that he'll be reborn a seraph and forget Mikleo, or that Mikleo himself won't survive long enough to see his return. So many things could go wrong.

He has hope, though. Whatever their chances, until that day comes, he'll always have hope. Eizen's dead. He can't begin to fathom that despair, not like Sorey or Edna could.

He himself had been the one to die too, after all.

Instead of saying anything, he shifts over, sliding his hands under Zaveid's head to tug his hair free, running his fingers gently through the strands. Sometimes you can't say anything. Sometimes you just need to sit, and support, and listen, and that's something Mikleo's done with Sorey for years, many many times. He's got plenty of practice with this.

And if Zaveid wants to talk about it, he'll be here.]

[airily]

[ Zaveid wants to admit that he was alright, that he was comfortable, that he was adjusting, but he can't. He had been so close to Eizen, closer to him than he had been to anyone else, and it's obvious in the shake of his shoulders as Mikleo moves closer and begins to tug his hair free, stroking fingers through it with a tenderness that Zaveid doesn't think he deserves.

He killed Eizen. Eizen is going back to a world where he is going to die by Zaveid's hands. A world where a grave lies at the top of a mountain, where Zaveid is moving forward to a time where he is alone again. It haunts him, all the lives that have been lost, all the dragons that have curled around him; Theodora, Silva, Laphicet, Eizen, Mikleo. Dezel, lost to Malevolence.

Closing his eyes, Zaveid swallows, tilting his head back, fingers stroking over the bracelets that Dezel had given him. ]

He knew. At least this time he knew.

[tsunergy]

[Zaveid talking about it freely is a surprise, and it's not one that Mikleo is going to question. He merely counts his blessings and tries, gently, to encourage it.]

Knew what?

[Because there's a couple of potential answers, and whatever his guesses might be, he wants to hear Zaveid confirm it.]

[airily]

You're really gonna make me say it?

[ Zaveid's voice is small and sad, but he looks at Mikleo all the same, tired eyes drinking him in. ]

[tsunergy]

I wouldn't, if I thought it wasn't important.

[And he does, because it is.]

[airily]

He knew how I felt about him, alright. [ Zaveid grumbles, squeezing his eyes shut. ] I told him. Last time we really talked.

[tsunergy]

[It's about what he'd expected, but it's good to hear Zaveid say it, regardless. He weaves his fingers and begins spinning a portion of Zaveid's hair into a loose braid.]

I'm glad. You both deserved to be happy, while you had the chance.

[Still hurts to lose someone - the ache of losing Dezel again is one he still feels, sudden and unexpected at the most random of times - but surely it would be much worse to miss them with lingering regrets. Losing Sorey to Maotelus had taught him that; it's why he's trying to do better here and now, while they have time.]

text

[monolike]

Do you want some company, Zaveid?

text

[airily]

No.

[ Then, a few minutes later - ]

yes.

action

[monolike]

[Yeah Sorey had already been creeping his way over, he's just not bothering trying to be subtle about it.

Once he arrives he doesn't enter immediately; just leans against the doorway, hands clasped behind his back. He'd told Zaveid he shouldn't let being afraid of losing Eizen get in the way of having a real relationship with him, and now look what's happened.]

[airily]

[ Laying there in the middle of his garden is easy - it doesn't take much energy to sit and act as though there's no weight on his shoulders. Lifting his head, he glances over when he hears Sorey approach, hesitating for a moment before he waves his hand, absent and unconcerned. ]

You can come in.

[monolike]

[Sorey lingers for a moment before joining Zaveid at his side, arms around his knees.] ...those plants you added are taking really well. The flowers in the corner might bloom soon.

[airily]

I'm trying to make sure they get enough air. [ He tilts his head, glancing over, not... Frowning, but not smiling either. ] You don't have to play nice, Sorey.

[monolike]

I'm just feeling you out, [Sorey protests, but it's weak. He was playing nice.] ...are you just gonna say something about how you lost him before, so it doesn't hurt as bad this time?

[airily]

[ As though a father doesn't know his son. ]

... No. [ His eyes close and he tilts his head back. ] It hurts worse.

[monolike]

Zaveid, [Sorey murmurs, expression crumbling as he immediately unfolds, crawling over to lay beside Zaveid and try to sneak his arms around his shoulders.]

[airily]

[ What is surprising is that Zaveid doesn't protest it; he leans into it, breathing out a sharp noise. He's not crying, but there's tension inside of him that is undeniable. He holds on to Sorey and he shakes, just a little, the wind curling around them. ]

[monolike]

[When Zavied turns into his arms rather than away, rather than laying still and allowing Sorey to comfort him- when he seeks Sorey instead, the Shepherd pushes himself up onto his knees, pulls Zaveid into his lap and curls over him.

Sorey can't do anything to protect his seraph from this. And he wants to tell Zaveid we'll get him back. Him, and Dezel, we'll get them both back, but now isn't the time for promises and platitudes. Now is the time to allow Zaveid to grieve, without forcing him to pick himself back up.

I'll hold you together. I'm your vessel.

Sorey murmurs wordless nothings and strokes Zaveid's hair, shields him from the world around them with his cloak, his arms, his heart. He can't protect Zaveid from the world.

But he can hide him away from it...at least for a little while.]

[airily]

[ He doesn't want to cry. That's what he tells himself; he doesn't want to cry. It's not that he thinks it's a sign of weakness or that he thinks it makes him lesser, it's that he doesn't want to give into the urge to be miserable, to fall apart, even in front of Sorey. He doesn't want to give in to his grief, no matter how fresh and heavy it is.

Zaveid can still hear Eizen's laugh. He can still feel the touch of his hand and his mouth, can still visualise the shake of his head and the way they would shove one another. The way they would lie in the grass and talk, or hold hands, or how Eizen comforted him, or -

all the memories that Zaveid had forgotten over the years, all the things that had slipped his mind. Memories of dragons had been replaced with real things, better than before. It hurts because it is an opportunity he took, afraid of the outcome, and suffered in the end anyway.

His arms slip around Sorey, as best he can, squeezing around him, his body shaking.

Zaveid cries, quiet, sad tears, gripping at Sorey, unafraid in the wake of his Shepherd. The one person he could trust with his grief. Sorey understands; he lost Mikleo. It's the same. It's the same. ]