Princess "HBIC" Allura (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
princessences) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
driftfleet2018-09-01 10:32 pm
princessences) wrote in driftfleet2018-09-01 10:32 pm
Entry tags:
[closed] broadcast + action
Who: Team Voltron (Allura, Keith, Lance, Pidge, and Shiro)
Broadcast: Closed
Action: Closed - Iskaulit, Lion's Den
When: Late August
[ private; broadcast ★ text ]
[ Allura has been a little quiet, near MIA since Lotor's arrival, but not too long after she opens up a private channel to the team. ]
Paladins.
We need to talk.
[ closed; action ★ Iskaulit ]
[ She's still processing everything. Anger is what she feels the most, but there's confusion, hurt, and betrayal settled in there as well. He had placed it all so eloquently in front of her, things that he had kept to himself since the moment he had offered his knowledge and assistance. This entire time!
Of course, she understood well why he hadn't said anything--she would be upset no matter the circumstances. But that didn't make it right. It made it purposeful.
Allura needs to pry her mind away from the circle of frustration she was creating for herself long enough to properly navigate the Iskaulit. She has never been to the "Lion's Den", as it was called, before, but she is glad to have it. A place that is meant to be safe and familiar in a very unfamiliar world. It may not be the Castle by any means, but she can't stew in her room on the Tourist for much longer.
She pauses in front of what she assumes is the entrance.
Is...this it? ]
Broadcast: Closed
Action: Closed - Iskaulit, Lion's Den
When: Late August
[ private; broadcast ★ text ]
[ Allura has been a little quiet, near MIA since Lotor's arrival, but not too long after she opens up a private channel to the team. ]
Paladins.
We need to talk.
[ closed; action ★ Iskaulit ]
[ She's still processing everything. Anger is what she feels the most, but there's confusion, hurt, and betrayal settled in there as well. He had placed it all so eloquently in front of her, things that he had kept to himself since the moment he had offered his knowledge and assistance. This entire time!
Of course, she understood well why he hadn't said anything--she would be upset no matter the circumstances. But that didn't make it right. It made it purposeful.
Allura needs to pry her mind away from the circle of frustration she was creating for herself long enough to properly navigate the Iskaulit. She has never been to the "Lion's Den", as it was called, before, but she is glad to have it. A place that is meant to be safe and familiar in a very unfamiliar world. It may not be the Castle by any means, but she can't stew in her room on the Tourist for much longer.
She pauses in front of what she assumes is the entrance.
Is...this it? ]
no subject
If I had known that you were alive, I would have waited.
How is she supposed to feel about that? That somehow her hidden existence is what put her people in jeopardy?
Too much to think about.
So she listens to Keith, but it doesn't make things much better. It makes her feel sick and confirms her worst fears. What joy she could have at knowing that Alteans weren't entirely wiped out could not win against the unfortunate reality of their plight.
Allura covers her mouth and looks away.
Hold it together. You knew this is what happened.
She just needs a moment. When it passes she straightens and keeps her voice level. ]
Were they still alive?
no subject
[And then, the Castle... It was probably better to leave them for now, and they could come back later.]
Plus, we only had one Altean pod. We couldn't have carried more than a few with us.
no subject
She's heard Keith's story before, so her eyes are on Allura as she takes all the information in for the first time. It feels a little like being on the bridge again, except Lotor isn't there to get tossed across the room like a rag doll.]
no subject
[ Her gaze drops.
So there are pieces that align with what she has already been told. Her brows furrow as she lets the information settle. She can picture it now--rows and rows of capsules of Alteans, hooked up to support and barely left alive. That she could find out that her people whom she had thought had been lost to time and destruction could be alive and hurt in the same breath was still difficult to cope with.
Pidge's movements register, but Allura takes a long pause before she draws herself up again. No small part of her wants to take another quintant to mull everything over in her own quiet space, but that isn't the reason she called them together--not just for information, but for insight.
She puts on her best diplomatic face: ]
I'm sorry to have asked you to recount those events so soon after you returned. I know that you've all been exhausted.
[ Another reason why Allura kept to herself for a short while. ]
What you say, Keith...it does match what he--what Lotor shared with me. [ It's as if she hesitates to say his name out loud again, but there it is. ] All except that he had sentries to clean up the mess. But that is an important detail.
[ And one that wouldn't bode well for him, if he still wanted her favor. She's really not sure where or what he has been up to since their argument. ]
All of this happened in the space of time that you disappeared from this place?
no subject
[That diplomatic face worries him. Pidge staying in her corned worries him. Haggar now having Lotor to work with worries him. What happened to this place being a break? A vacation, even?
Atroma probably has heard and tried to fix that for ratings.
Speaking of Atroma... there comes the time question. Shiro sighs as he rubs the bridge of his nose, feeling the three set of memories trying to align - where to even begin?]
In a way? Yeah. That's when we learned about it. But time isn't exactly lineal while we are here. Before we disappeared last time, my last memory was Naxzela, while Lance, Keith and Pidge matched your current point in time. The first time we disappeared, we did it together, but they had an extra one before the last one. Ulaz is here too, and you know what that means.
[He shouldn't even be alive. After taking a deep breath, he looks at Allura in the eye. No hiding. Gotta be brave. Especially after what happened.]
Princess. I told you Haggar took control of my clone when Keith came back with that information. That's because she wanted me to protect Lotor. I took him to her before-- before she made me fight Keith. That last battle I mentioned? Against a new Galra robot? Those were the Sincline ships combined. The team fought Lotor, Allura. And left him in the quintessence field.
no subject
[Keith didn't want to keep it from her. It was about finding the right time to tell her. And well, she was asking, so no time like the present, yeah?]
I'm sorry you had to find out like this. I know you all trusted him and were working on a truce with him and the new empire.
[Keith hadn't been, but that was because the Blades didn't trust any of the newcomers that had been at the Kral Zera, Lotor included. It had left an awkward rift, and Keith felt very out of touch with the team for a while, especially after he saw the Black Lion there. But that particular incident made sense now, too, knowing what they knew about the condition Shiro had been in at the time.
Speaking of... as Shiro spoke about what Haggar had done, about the fight, about the quintessence field, Keith looked down, keeping quiet for now. He knew it was just in his head, but when Shiro brought up the fight between them, he could almost feel the scar on his face burning again. He bit his tongue. This wasn't the right time for talking about that. They had to focus on the situation with Lotor and Allura right now.]
no subject
She does wonder...when would he have told her the truth? He had said he was waiting for the right time, but when was that with this sort of news? Her people...
Yes, they are still her people. And now that she has gotten them back she has no way to reach them. Another point of grievance.
It helped a little that she has been prepped for some of the less fortunate details of their stay back in their own reality. The new bot had been unfortunate news, but not surprising--the fact that it came from the Galra empire that was split in chaos played well with it too. That Shiro had been cloned...a part of her is still processing that. Hasn't he been through enough? Haggar's involvement is everpresent. That he and Keith fought--speaking to the new scar that Keith sported and Shiro's missing arm. But--
--Lotor... ]
...What?
[ A cold chill runs through her spine. ]
That was Lotor?
[ He--
--had a part of her still wanted to give him the benefit of the doubt? He hadn't mentioned that at all. Why would he not tell her that if he told her everything else?
I know you trusted him--
She had. She had trusted him. Against all her initial instincts and wishes from the moment they met, he slowly wormed his way past her prejudices and defenses, helped her rediscover parts of her people that she thought were lost to time. He has given her hope and Altea and this--this.
Just another betrayal, really.
But one that she hadn't gotten out of her system by throwing him across the room.
Allura goes silent and leans forward to rest her elbows on her knees, covering her mouth with both of her hands. This she hadn't expected. ]
...
[ It's a long moment before she rouses herself, even slightly, and shakes her head as she removes her hands from her mouth and holds onto either side of her neck. ]
It...was all a pretense to gain more power, wasn't it?
[ It hadn't felt that why. Why hadn't it felt that way? Had she been so blind in her own desire for happiness that she make such a terrible error and put everyone in jeopardy?
The exhaustion on all their faces when they returned, the scars--both mental physical--sustained in their time gone.
Was this...because of her? Had she put them all in such a precarious position that it all inevitably fell apart? ]
no subject
[Keith sighed softly. This felt like a much harder version of those alternate reality Alteans they had met. Allura just wanted a connection, a place to belong. Keith could understand that. She and Coran were so alone right now, and watching her try to cling and grasp for any hint that might lead her to more of her own kind was almost a little painful.]
I'm sorry things didn't work out for you the way you wanted them to. [And... he was.] I wish it had been better for you.
no subject
[ It was her desire to find that connection, to not be so alone that has led to this, however. That is something she won't forgive herself for, not for a while. The polite thing to do would be to accept his condolences for what they were--a friend trying to comfort another friend, but to do so feels too selfish. It isn't just Allura that paid the price for this.
Because she made a decision to trust him and everyone else trusted her to make the right one.
Look where that led them. ]
...As do I. For everyone.
[ Allura takes a deep breath, keeping her gaze on the floor. ]
I apologize, I'm not sure what to think right now...I thought I had sorted it out, which is why I called you.
no subject
A mighty need to punch Lotor is intensifying right now.
Ulaz is going to scold him for this later, but he doesn't care. Sure, he's learned he mustn't ignore headaches, but right now, he can ignore this one. He needs to do this, for both her and for himself. Shiro leaves his spot on the couch and crouches in front of her before putting his hand on top of hers.]
Allura, don't apologize. This isn't something that just gets sorted out over night. If you need us, then we're here for you. If you need some space, then we'll give it to you. And most importantly, remember this isn't home. There's no Coalition to attend to, no war to keep an eye on. Please give yourself and your feelings some time.
[Hypocrisy levels: over 9k!!!]
no subject
[If there was anything that Keith was thankful to the Fleet for, it was that it helped to shorten his time away from the team by bringing them back together while he was on his mission with the Blade. Sure, he lost the memories of the Fleet each time he went home, but it was welcome break each time to come back and not feel so separated and alone. Because, even while he was an actual Blade of Marmora, he was still only half-Galra, and several of the others definitely treated him that way.]
no subject
The latter should be a comfort. Both should be a weight off of her shoulders. Both, she feels, she may have failed in some way. Perhaps this will give her time to reflect further on her actions and plan a way to correct them if possible, but based on everything she's heard up until then, it doesn't matter what conclusions she comes to--if and when she turns to their timeline, everything she's learned here will be null and moot.
She will make the same mistakes because she's learned nothing, won't she? They will still be betrayed and she will lead them right into it.
But Shiro's trying to help--they both are. Despite the weight on her chest, how she feels so totally fooled, Allura forces what she can of a smile. She places her free hand on top of Shiro's and gives it a squeeze. ]
...I suppose all we have here is time.
[ She nods. ]
Thank you...
[ And then looks up to Keith, to Pidge in the corner. ]
Everyone. This may not have an affect on how things play out in our reality, but...perhaps, it can make our stay here more...pleasant.
[ The words feel practiced, too polite, and she frowns a little, then shakes her head. ]
...--I'll do my best to take your advice to heart.
[ Time and space. ]