[ you don't have enough money. ]

[spellsteal]

Who: Belthazar and... you!
Broadcast: Y
Action: Y, on the surface or on the Goldstone if you like
When: Anytime while on trashplanet

[video;]

[Belthazar looks annoyed when he appears on the feed, his ears pinned tight against black hair.]

I'll keep it short and to the point: I'm looking for new kitchen accessories and I need suggestions on where to find them. A few things were missing or not up to standard in the ship's kitchen when I took over, and I'm frankly tired of it. I need better things.

[He pulls out a piece of paper.] I'm looking for a new can opener, metal whisks, baking pans and sheets, glass dishes, stainless steel bowls, an extra large roasting pan... and a potato peeler. What kind of person lives without a peeler?

The planet is awfully disorganized, so I haven't had much luck so far.

[He huffs.]

I have aspirations for Pilgrim's Bounty this year and I won't let this hunk of garbage ruin them.

-----

[planetside; market]

[Belthazar has some shopping to do. And that means, of course, a trip to the massive auction place. He doesn't have as much money in the bank as he could, so he's wary of spending too much regardless, but some of these people are obviously trying to scam him.

Exhibit A: this guy talks a mile a minute and keeps doing weird things with his eyes when he blinks. He also smells like old yams, and he's been trying to sell Belthazar a corn stripper for about fifteen minutes.]

That's not what I'm interested in. I want that set of bread pans, and like I said before, I'm not paying more than thirty for it.

Ah, but they are-- special! Very special. You see, they were used by the best bakers a hundred years ago-- an absolutely priceless antique. No one would pay less than a hundred for these, seeing as their value is even more--

Just a minute ago you said they were selling for eighty. You can't even keep your lies straight, old man!

Out of the generosity of my heart, however, I'll give 'em to you for a hundred twenty.

[The elf, already red-faced, looks like he's about to blow a gasket. He's struggling not to wind his arm back and punch this guy-- who is already leaning so close. Granted, setting him on fire will be more effective...

Will you shield the shopkeeper from Belth's wrath, try to diffuse the situation, or just stand back and watch?]

Comments

[abracafcku]

Oh, you mean self-help books? Yeah, you gotta find the right one that speaks to you or it's all a bunch of crap. [Say, for example, if a certain elf ever puts out a book on being fabulous. That's a book Taako could get behind.

When the merchant comes back, Taako gives him a smile and takes the packages from him. It's always nice to see the Charm Person work so well. The guy even offers to go make tea and bring it out. To which Taako says "sure, why not?" because it'll get him to disappear again instead of hover around looking for ways to please them.]

Oolong if you got it, my man! Thanks!

[He gives Belth a look that says he's obviously not sticking around to wait for that tea.]

You set things on fire, I set things on fire, the other person who has my face here sets things on fire - we should start a club. Once we're not in the middle of a dubious transaction.

[Taako grabs his portion of the take and grins.]

I warn you, my man, I'm a very discerning customer when it comes to food. But sure, if you wanna try your cooking prowess against Taako's magical tongue, I'll take it.

[spellsteal]

[Belth is smart enough to get that look, so after they grab their stuff, he starts to lead Taako away from the shop at a pretty good clip for someone who is tragically short. He's like seventy percent leg so it's fine.]

Before now, I was mostly focused on the arcane school of magic-- item enchantments, polymorphing, harnessing raw arcane energy and manipulating others' spells... that sort of thing. It's still my best subject, but it's highly unstable. It's difficult to use when I need to protect myself.

I'm not afraid of failure. If you're a chef of great skill then I can only learn from the experience.

[abracafcku]

[Time to hightail it! Taako easily keeps up because 50% of his life is running away so he's pretty used to it. Once they're outside and far enough away from the store, he relaxes a little, tossing his stuff over his shoulder in a bag.]

Be pretty curious to see what kinda spells you got, my man. Polymorph aside, I can always do with a few new things under my belt. I could give you a lesson or two in some offensive or defensive shit in return if you want.

[And Taako might be able to glean some new magics to help him with his experiments. He needs more information on this world, on new magics, on ways out of here.]

And everyone can afford to learn. I mean, I'm awesome - natch - but that doesn't mean I can't pick up some new recipes here and there.

[spellsteal]

[Up til now Belth has been rather reserved, but he absolutely lights up when Taako offers to show him things. If there's one thing Belth loves more than good food and good books it's pure, raw knowledge.]

I'd love that!

[He seems to realize he's being a little exuberant, here, and tries to tone it down a little. He's shy, after all.]

I mean, I've read quite a few spellbooks, so I'm sure I can give you something even if I'm not able to demonstrate for whatever reason -- [aaaand he's talking super fast, holy shit, sorry Taako] -- and of course I'm willing to record everything and take as many notes as possible and even copy spells down for you to have if you'd like to give them a try, as my visual recollection is really quite good, and a part of my training underneath my adoptive father is that I need to grow in my fire mastery as well as learn to properly write my own incantations so I can learn the precise effects of certain tonal changes and syllables and I'm really not terrible at writing these kinds of spells but I haven't had inspiration in a good while so I'm much more practiced at simply transforming a spell into another spell with the energy it carries. As for the food, I'm thinking something simple and rich but still healthy enough that you don't necessarily feel like you're gaining fifteen pounds from looking at it.

[As he's talking he fetches a leather notebook from inside his robes and flips excitedly through the pages.]

-- I could start with the tomato if I can find some of those, but I could-- what's your opinion on garlic? -- and then we could move on to the bouillabaisse, maybe quail egg appetizers? I'll have to conjure those since tallbirds are so unreliable, and then...

[abracafcku]

[Whoa, holy shit. It's like a little curiosity bomb went off inside the smaller elf because he's positively radiating excitement right now. His mouth is moving at a million miles an hour as he offers to show him what he's learned before moving off onto food. As he keeps going, Taako finally stops and holds a hand up to him.]

Okay, slow your roll there, Kemo Sabe. Let me tell you two things.

[He flicks his index finger upward.]

First? You're a total magic nerd.

[Then he flicks a second finger up.]

Second? You're a total cooking nerd.

[And a third finger stands up after a moment of hesitation.]

No wait, three. Three things. Third? I'm so down for quail eggs, you have no idea. It's been forever since anyone even mentioned quail eggs to me.

And I guess fourth? What is a tallbird?

[spellsteal]

[Belthazar's ears pin against his hair as Taako stops him, but he realizes after a moment that he's not actually being scolded. His smile returns, shyer and certainly quieter, but as present as the sun beaming between clouds.]

Hehe. Guilty as charged.

[He adjusts his grip on his baking pans and tucks his notebook back into his robes.]

Quail eggs are an underrated delicacy, but I have yet to actually run into them on this dubious journey. As for tallbirds, they're exactly what you would think-- really, really tall birds. They're very leggy, and while they can fly somewhat, they look stupid doing it. They're much more suited to running. The other benefit is, of course, the eggs, which are very large and very good for making omelettes.

They're a sort of fixture of the universe we're in, along with the weird humans with bright orange skin. I haven't figured out if there's any correlation yet.

[abracafcku]

If the eggs turn me orange? Noooo thank you. My beautiful golden skin needs to stay this perfect shade.

[But otherwise? It's obvious Taako is interested, his curiosity piqued by these descriptions. A leggy bird with massive eggs? He's gotta eat that someday, definitely. His ears are perked up for once, gears turning in his head as he thinks of a way to get quail eggs here.]

We could see if there's any equivalent at one of the planets or waystations we pass. Might not be the same taste, but other birds in this plane might lay similarly sized eggs, right? They can't all be gigantic beasts.

[spellsteal]

Thankfully I've not noticed anything of the sort.

[He nods sagely at Taako's suggestion.]

That's the idea. If this planet weren't such a wasteland of post-capitalist extirpation I would suggest looking here. Once I'm more established again I'll start hoarding cooking ingredients like always.

But, for a quick fix, conjuring them will be fine. I know how quail eggs taste and how I usually make them, so it won't be terrible either way.

[abracafcku]

Yeah, conjuring works. But have you noticed that the taste isn't quite right when it's conjured? Like, good enough, but yanno, not the same.

[He prefers real shit to the conjured any day, even if he has to transmute it.]

But fair enough on this planet. It's a fucking dump and I can't wait to get off it.