video + action

[outstandingbalance]

Who: Natasha Romanoff
Broadcast: Yes
Action: Vanquish & Heron
When: Now

[The video begins with Natasha's face, the picture close to crop out most of the background, though what little is visible would seem to indicate she's in a cargo bay. Her expression is largely stoic, but she looks tired—and her bleach job is growing out, showing red roots.]

For those of you who hadn't noticed yet, Captain Barnes form the Heron is gone. You may have known him as Winter or Bucky, depending on when and how you met. He left a few days ago and is no longer on the ship rosters.

I'm collecting his personal effects to sort and store. If anyone had an interest in any of his things, check in with me on the Vanquish.

[There's a slight frown around her mouth, like maybe she's second guessing making this broadcast in the first place. After her brief hesitation, she commits to finishing the message.]

I suppose, the same goes for Sam Wilson. I've been keeping most of his things since he left too.

[Then a thin smile.]

Congratulations to the new captains, and thank you for letting me raid your ships.

Comments

[postocular]

Content?

[outstandingbalance]

Content. [Agreeing as she echoes him.]

[postocular]

You can have that again, it's not completely gone.

[outstandingbalance]

It's... that's complicated, Carl.

[postocular]

Not if you just let yourself.

[outstandingbalance]

It's probably not coming back either.

[postocular]

...Nat. [ He's going to bonk his head on her shoulder before he pulls away.

Stop this. ]

[outstandingbalance]

[She winces. He's a good kid. And an okay cat.]

Sorry. It's just rough. And it seems like I should have seen it coming. I should have been ready for it.

Could have used to the time better.

[postocular]

It's hard when your people leave. It doesn't help that 'they may come back', because you don't know when that is, and then you're just wasting time hoping for something that's not gonna happen. There's not a way to measure time. With anything..

I bet you'd answer that differently a few weeks ago.

[outstandingbalance]

Probably. [In a few weeks she'll have had time to put on a better face. No one seeing through her like this. And time to process and let it go. She's not the kind of person to get hung up on might-have-beens.

At the moment, this one still stings though.] I won't get my hopes up he's coming back. Even if he does... chances are, he won't remember. Not the things that happened here.

[postocular]

That gives you a second chance, though? I mean, if there were things that you wanted to do differently..

[outstandingbalance]

That wouldn't be fair to him. [Softly, because she's been thinking about that a lot.] I can't ask him to be someone he doesn't remember being. He's had enough of that already.

[postocular]

That's not what I mean. [ He shakes his head, chewing his lip as he tries to say what he means. ]

You have a second chance to get to know him, right? That means you can start off on a different foot. You know what he's been through in the past, but you know we get lives here.

[outstandingbalance]

Carl... [She's not going to argue him, because he knows what he's talking about. And because he's not wrong. But there's not really a right answer here either.] He might get a life here. I hope he does.

[postocular]

That means you do, too, stupid.

[ Please don't kill him for that. ]

[outstandingbalance]

[She doesn't kill him. She does stare, because she wasn't expecting to have this turned back on her again.]

Maybe I already got my life here.

[postocular]

I don't think so. [ He doesn't want to think so, because if hers is said and done with, what does that mean for him? ]

[outstandingbalance]

[She has work at home. But that's not what she means, exactly.]

I know you don't. I'm glad you don't. It's nice to hear.

[postocular]

It'll be okay, Nat. I know it's not the same, and you have a bunch of other people that probably get it better... but I'm here, too, if you need a kid's opinion or anything.

[outstandingbalance]

Maybe sometimes I need a kid's opinion.

[Besides, how she'll react if James comes back is moot at this point. He's gone. Who knows when or if he'll show up again. No need to fight over speculation.]