driftfleet | [ video + action ] in this world now I am undying ( iw update )

Entry tags:

[ video + action ] in this world now I am undying ( iw update )

Who: Loki + You
Broadcast: Yes!
Action: SS First Breath
When: Right now!

( feed: action )

[ the feed turns on and you're not sure why. all is quiet on the ship front. there doesn't seem to be much activity on the first breath, even this late. all is silent. until you hear a crackle. suddenly ice speeds its way over the walls, ceilings and floors of the ship, instantly freezing everything along its path. everything is coated in silvery, sharp ice, cold to the touch.

and for a moment, a shrill scream echoes throughout the ship before going quiet with the feed. ]

( much later: video )

[ loki turns the feed on. he looks queasy and ready to drop off right then and there, but he clears his throat, coughing as it hurts. ]

My apologies. It seems I lost control of my magic. I will immediately see to any repairs. But perhaps people coming by should mind their step in the meantime.

[ he looks like he has more to say, but he ducks his head, turning off the feed. ]

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[From the moment Thor opened his eyes that morning - both of his eyes - he knew something was wrong. It didn't come together immediately, sleep fog and some deeper malaise lurking in the wings. But like a dreadful puzzle all the pieces snapped together before long, before he had even sat up in bed. Even if he had the hammer's stroke of realisation would have knocked him back down.

The Statesman. Heimdall. Loki. Thanos. The dreadful snapping sound that still rings in his ears. The only brief grace he has is that unlike last time, he doesn't need to readjust to where he is now. He knows. And that means--

He doesn't remember whirling up onto his feet and running into the corridor. It happens before he's even fully formed the thought that he needs to get over to the First Breath, now. Slamming himself into the shuttle Thor fires up the engines and grits his teeth as the craft makes its way over to the other ship. He has to see for himself. All the misspent adrenaline from the last battle (perhaps last of all) is still surging through his veins. The communicator burns in his pocket but he refuses to check it, to look at the manifests or send a message first. He needs to find out (he doesn't want to know if it's pointless).

The ice nearly drops him to the floor as he jumps out of the shuttle, slippery and unexpected underfoot. Staring at the glittering frost all over the walls of the ship, Thor's heart lurches painfully and he races through to the main corridor, shouting as he goes.]

Loki!

[Five strides more will get him to Loki's room.]

[ the door opening sends loki into a panic, the likes he's never quite experienced before. waking up had felt nightmarish, like a weight on his chest and lungs and he couldn't breathe, couldn't do anything while thanos squeezed and squeezed —

— loki's hands tentatively touch his throat as his breathing continues to stutter erratically. no, it had been real. loki could feel it. his fingers brush against the bruising and loki flinches in pain. so he had been found, at long last. loki knew it was going to happen, knew that the promise held strong. he was a liability. he was —

the door opens and loki immediately scrambles back, against the wall, his fingers glowing, ready to strike at whoever was approaching before he notices . . . ]

Thor.

[ his voice was barely a croak. thor. thor was still here. thor was alive. it hadn't been in vain, he hadn't — ]

[He'd been sleeping when it happened. There wasn't much else he could do besides sleep, eat, and bitch about his situation. So he was groggy when he felt the surge of magic rip through the ship. It was enough to wake him from actual sleep though, and he snapped to attention with a panic, his breath fogging the air. It was frigid and he wrapped his arms around himself, shivering.

He was going to complain about the AC when someone screamed. Someone - on his ship - screamed.

Taako was out of bed an instant later, Umbra Staff at his side. He fell on patches of ice, gritting his teeth against pulled stitches and new bruises, tracing the source.

It wasn't hard to figure out - only 3 magic users were on the ship. He didn't scream, Haggar wasn't there sort, so that left?

Taako banged on Loki's door, using the Staff to keep himself from sliding away.]

Hey! What the fuck is going on? Are you in there?!

[ loki flinches from the sound at the door. he should say something but it feels as though his voice has been robbed of him. that he will crumble into dust should anyone see him this way. it took a long time, long enough for taako to get impatient but loki finally, finally musters up enough energy to hobble to the door.

he could do this. death number three. he's crawled out of worse pits. the door opens. ]

I am.

[ his voice is a low, wiry rasp. ]

[More than impatient, Taako had been getting desperate. He also didn't want to walk in to a dead body he couldn't do anything about. He'd almost been that dead body not but a week or so ago; he wasn't sure if could deal with seeing Loki gone while he remained.

Please, don't take anyone!

Taako kept banging on the door, ears flat against his head, not caring that he was definitely ripping stitches as he kept at it. He's about to push the door open when it slides free of its own volition, his captain on the other side. Taako's relief is fleeting as he hears his voice, and a brief flicker of fear runs through him.

Loki doesn't look hurt, but he looks dead tired.]

What happened? Was that-- this? [He motions to the ice everywhere] What happened to you?

[ not hurt, though it's hard to see the bruises around his throat. loki hasn't taken time to hide them just yet. ]

I — I lost control. I apologize.

[ his voice continues to shift from whisper to whisper. ]

[When he flings the door open Thor has a brief, blinding moment of fear that he's wrong. That Loki won't be here, that the Atroma would have taken his brother away right when he most needed this place to do it's maddening best to hold everyone here. Even beyond death.

He sucks in a sharp breath when he does see Loki there, backed up against the wall and preparing to fight back. Not because the reaction hurts, no. Because Loki's reacting at all, not a broken lifeless heap on the floor. A nightmare image, for all that Thor hasn't slept at all since it happened.

His cape has barely swung back into place after his run down the corridors before it flares out behind him again as he crosses the distance between them in two steps. His eyes flick over Loki, words dying in Thor's mouth as soon as they light on the ugly bruising around his throat.

Reaching out, he pulls Loki into a tight hug, letting out a dangerously shaky breath.]

[Oh hell no. Loki didn't lose control - that was kind of this dude's whole gig. Taako grimaces and presses a hand to his side, then tries to give him a more thorough look-over. His voice is hoarse - from screaming? But it was just the once?]

Yeah, no shit. Are we-- you; are you under attack?

[ thor, thor, thor. alive and well. his fingers scramble to find purchase around thor, even as loki lets out an ugly sob that shakes him to the core. no crying, loki tries to tell himself, you got what you deserve, what you've always deserved, but at least, at least — but it was hard to stop as he buries his head against his brother's chest, relief sapping away any energy he might have had left. ]

[ loki shakes his head, but even that little movement seemed to hurt. ]

Not anymore.

[And there it is - now that he isn't panicking, he can see it. The ugly lines around Loki's neck in a familiar pattern that sends ice through his veins.

There isn't anyone in Loki's room that he can see. Taako lifts his staff as best he can, glancing up and down the hall. He likes to pretend he doesn't care about these idiots, and he's 99% sure none of them would give a shit if he died, but he isn't about to let any of them die while he still has breath left in his body. He's weak and recovering and Lup will kick his ass for getting out of bed, but if they're under seige? He's going to fuck someone up. ]

We have a fucking security officer - where the fuck were they? Where'd the asshole who attacked you go? I didn't pass anyone here.

[ it takes a long moment for loki to parse all of that — taako's words, his anger and concern. his expression flutters before slipping like ice. ]

No. They're not here. It was — It was an awakening. The Atroma returned me to a . . . painful point in time and that is what I came back to.

[A tremor runs through Thor and his arms tighten around Loki. His own tears fall easily as they always do at times like this. Every time. Every time Loki dies.

It never gets easier. Thor never comes to expect it, to guard his heart against the sheer stabbing pain of loss when his brother dies. This time it had even felt worse, more desolate than before. To have come this far out of the ashes of Asgard and have Loki come back to him, only for a mad tyrant to appear and decimate it all... how does he come back from that?

Every time Loki died Thor had turned to the others around him. This time, he had been alone.]

You're here.

[It's muffled and rough with tears, rubbed raw with relief.]

[There's a moment where he doesn't understand. How could someone not here leave bruises like that on his neck? That shit would--

"I slept and woke up with a year's worth of memories."

Belth's words suddenly ring in Taako's mind and his grip on the Umbra Staff goes white knuckled. He knows he has no right to feel protective over a god, but that doesn't change the anger that boils in his stomach at the idea of anyone hurting someone he, well, found agreeable in that way that most normal people would say "liked."]

.....fuck.

[He isn't sure what else to say. He exhales the expletive under his breath, then reaches out for the door frame to keep himself from sliding.]

You. Um. You want me to get something from the infirmary for that? [He motions to his own neck to indicate Loki's] Situation? I, uh, have to go there anyway...

[ for how long? how long until their captors decide he has run out of use? and loki knows, he knows that eventually, everyone runs out of use for him. what would he return to? if there is anything to return to at all. this feels purgatorial. easily taken away.

but loki says none of that, closing his eyes and resting against his brother's chest, listening to his heartbeat, steady as drums, steadier than anything in loki's body right now, strung out and fragile, ready to snap. ]

For you.

[ his lips curve upwards, though it's clear there's no real humour in it. ]

They are merely remnants. It will fade.

[ thanos hadn't scarred him. loki refuses to let the titan claim more pieces of him. ]

[Yeah, that makes sense. Taako might like Loki, but he doesn't think that feeling is mutual. But Taako has had enough bruises in his life that he knows how they never really fade when they leave a mark that ugly.]

Yeah. Yeah, no doubt.

[His ears droop a little, nervously flicking back against his head.]

... Are. This is a stupid question, I'm sure, but... Are you okay? You need me to, I dunno, get someone else?

[ loki has never been in this position. never really had to deal with anyone's concern beyond thor's, so he has gotten used to not expecting anything. loki visibly struggles, trying not to seem like he was brushing taako off while his own mind ran helter-skelter. ]

Thank you. I . . . I don't think there is anything anyone can do for me anymore.

[The same thought dances ominously at the edges of Thor's awareness, like a sword poised above his head. One he chooses to ignore in this instant, tormented enough with the grief and guilt of the last few hours.

A sharp huff explodes out of him.]

You idiot. [Gruffly, and maybe he could choose better words but he never did become adept at choosing what he said first.] You just had to choose then to be brave.

[It had made the whole thing more nightmarish. When the knife materialised in Loki's hand Thor had understood but hadn't quite believed it. Thanos had made his might known with brutal force to both of them.]

[ he could remember the way his limbs shaking back then. the deep breath before the plunge. thanos was the one who put nightmares in his head, who had scoured his bones. who had put the fear in his body.

and even then, even then, nothing had scared loki more than the idea of thor's death, of living in a reality where thor was no more. softly: ]

I have never been brave. I have never — [ never managed to get far enough to be good, to be worthy. always crushed before he could start. ] — I can't do it.

[That's enough to get Thor drawing back a bit, frowning down at Loki's head.]

No, you-- it was. I know it was. [Especially with what Thor knows about Thanos now... from his own experience, and from Loki's own admissions.] It was foolish but it was brave.

[ loki isn't convinced and he's not meeting thor's eyes. ]

He would have killed you.

[ It doesn't take much for Jim to know that something's wrong. The first broadcast is intense, and though Jim isn't even on that ship, he still feels a chill to the bone, particularly at that scream.

He's still thinking about calling Loki directly, or maybe even going to his ship to find him, when the second broadcast comes up. Seeing Loki doesn't really soothe his worries, not with the way he looks right now. ]

What happened? To make you lose control.

[ Because Loki doesn't just lose control, from what he's learned about him in the past. ]

[ Well, not only does Loki look not great, but hearing he lost control of his magic doesn't sound like him, either. ]

Loki, are you okay?? What happened?

[ He's very concerned about his friend, okay? ]

[ he's grateful that the bruises are now hidden. ]

Bad dreams. Nothing more.

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[ video + action ] in this world now I am undying ( iw update )

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