Action | Who needs a gosh dang drink??

[brooklyn_boy]

Who: Steve and everyone else who just needs to get drunk. One closed to existing CR
Broadcast: No
Action: The Iskaulit/Space Bar
When: Post Calibrations/Bombing the eff out of Marsiva


[OPEN]

Tony would probably be proud of Steve, if he were able to see him right now. He'd slap his back and welcome him back to the world of inebriation while ordering shots for everyone in the bar to commemorate the day. As it is, though, Tony isn't here and, without him, there's not a damn person who would feel proud in this entire bar. That's part of it's charm.

Steve sighs and swallows his fourth drink. It's strong and alien and somehow enough to give him a strong buzz but not enough to really get him drunk. Not yet, at least. But he's not a quitter, so bottom's up! He hisses a little at the burn of it and feels, not for the first time, like he was being a coward. He saw some stuff in those rooms, sure. But other people had it so much worse. Saw so much more. He should really be thankful, actually.

But he's not. And this is a 30's approved way of getting over trauma. There were worse ways of coping, he was sure. So for now he's just going to stay in his seat and keep ordering drinks until that elusive drunken state hits him once more.

Should only take another hour or three.


[CLOSED TO EXISTING CR]

No one could blame Steve for starting. He'd messaged his friends about fifteen minutes ago, telling them to meet him at the bar for some drinks. But just sitting here, waiting? It was done better with a drink in hand to look social, at least. And it's not like that one is going to be his last. No, after Calibrations he can imagine himself coming over here quite often. He can imagine all of them coming here quite often, in fact. But maybe tonight (today? Space was hard to judge) would help take some of the sting off. Or at least some of the awkwardness. 

But it wasn't as though they <i>chose</i> to share all of that. Loki, Steve is sure, would have preferred to keep his death to himself. And Thor? I am sure half of those memories were things he'd rather not have replayed over and over again. And <i>Hux</i>. God... That was just what Steve knew of. Who knew what other people had put his friends through? What they'd been through themselves? 

Steve preemptively orders another drink for whoever shows up first. Whoever it was, he's sure they won't say no. Not now. 

First round is on him.

Comments

[outstandingbalance]

"Worried it would seem unprofessional." And Peggy Carter was nothing if not intensely professional. She'd taken her role as captain of the Starstruck very seriously. "Eventually, the two of you broke down and admitted you were crazy about each other."

[brooklyn_boy]

Steve can't look at Nat. All he can see is Peggy in his head. He laughs at the answer because, yeah. That's Peg. That's Peg all over. "Christ..." His jaw goes tight as he keeps his eyes shut, imagining what it must have been like for them to finally come together. Finally be able to have a life.

"Did she leave anything?"

[outstandingbalance]

"Not that came to me." She'll find his hand and hold it, giving a supportive squeeze. "You were both idiots. When I first got here and saw the two of you, saw how you looked at each other, I figured you were already together. It wasn't until later I found out you had cold feet—afraid to lose each other again. To let yourself want something and relax, because you might lose it again. But after a while..."

She shrugs and adds wryly: "Peggy didn't love me sticking my nose in your business at first either."

Steve can probably guess how Natasha had responded to the pair of them, both with a second chance, and both sitting on their hands and holding their breath rather than enjoy what they had while they could. Not like Natasha's been shy about getting Steve a date in the past.

[brooklyn_boy]

He laughs and scrubs at his face before finally turning toward Natasha. "The same thing I've been worried about since I got here. At least I'm consistent." His laugh is completely empty and Steve walks toward Nat's bed to plop onto it, heavy. His eyes focus in the middle distance, still seeing what might have been.

"At least we got over it..." He smiles, wondering what the wedding was like. He won't ask because a big chunk of him doesn't want to know. He had an image in his head of her in a gorgeous dress, walking through the doors of the church. The truth won't be that. And he'll only forget someday again.

"I should write a note for you to keep. Just in case there's a next time: 'You waited too long already. Time for something new.' "

[outstandingbalance]

"Don't take this the wrong way, but I'm hoping not to have to do this again." Once has been enough. More than enough. No wonder James had been so tired of it in the end. He'd seen so many people come and go—including his best friend time and again.

"You could try not to do it again now, if it comes up. Though I guess I wouldn't mind kicking you again if it does."

[brooklyn_boy]

Steve hopes she doesn't have to either but they both know he can't make that guarantee. Instead he just offers a grin. "If Peggy shows up, I'll see how the chips lay. I figure until then I'm safe from having to make that call."

He doesn't even know what he'd do if she shows up. He still can barely be around Bucky without knowing gut-deep that they'll be separated all over again. He can understand why he held off on more.

"Feel free to kick, though."

[outstandingbalance]

"Probably." She pauses, then sighs, joining him on the bed. Where he landed heavily, she barely seems to put her weight on it. It's not normal. Normal would be relaxing with Steve. She's with one of her closest friends in one of the places she can feel at least somewhat safe. "I'm sorry I didn't tell you about that before. I should have. Just never seemed like the right time—I didn't want to do it on the Marsiva..."

[brooklyn_boy]

"Don't," he insists. "I don't know how I would have told you if the roles were reversed. Please, don't be sorry." He nudges against her, trying to put her at ease, here. "I was still dealing with Bucky. Bucky's. It's a good thing you didn't add that on top."

[outstandingbalance]

"And now another Rogers." There's a lot to deal with. Natasha wouldn't say she likes it exactly, but it gives her something to worry about other than herself. She's always done better with a mission. "Getting crowded around here."

[brooklyn_boy]

"Yeah..." Steve groans a little and scratches at his head. He can't get a headache anymore, really, but there's tension there all the same. "Buck thought I was dead before he showed up here. Now he gets to deal with both of us alive and one of us with the same torture under his belt that our Bucky has." He looks out at the opposite wall.

"I haven't even gone to see him. Is it wrong that part of me doesn't want to know what I become?"

[outstandingbalance]

"No, I think it's normal. Might be for the best for him too, for a while. But once he's ready..." Natasha remembers how her version of Barnes had talked about Jim, his double from apparently another reality where he became Captain America. "Once he's ready, you might be able to show him what he could become."

[brooklyn_boy]

He looks over at Natasha, taking that advice to heart. "I'm sorry to bring him up," he finally says. "You're right. You're right, I need to wait for him to be ready. I'm...glad that he is at least turning to you, even a little." It's good that he knows at least one person in his circle even though Sansa and Vision both seem to be good for him as well.

[outstandingbalance]

"It's fine. I don't mind." She leans toward him enough to nudge him back, driving home the point. "I wouldn't say he's turning to me though. More like I'm getting him used to my presence so hopefully he'll accept help in the future. Luckily, I know his captain."

[brooklyn_boy]

"That is good," he agrees, distant for the second as he rethinks the last time they spoke. The first and last time, for now. It hadn't been great but no one had bled. "It's weird...him having best friends that aren't me. Me having best friends who aren't him. Well. Not my-universe him, at least." He shrugs lightly. "Just strange."

[outstandingbalance]

"That's something you have in common." In a some ways, Steve and that Barnes, the other one, probably understood each other's position better than anyone else could. Not just because they'd lived such similar lives, but because in some strange way they still knew each other so well."Not that it makes it normal. Just.. you're not going through it alone."

[brooklyn_boy]

"It's helped," he admits. "We can talk about what it feels like. Being forgotten like we have." It's strange still seeing someone as the most important thing you have left and the other looking past you. Steve wishes he were better at compartmentalizing his own feelings but that's never been in the cards for him. He is who he is.

"I wish I had better advice for him on how to deal with it. All I have is 'wait'."

[outstandingbalance]

"It's good advice, though. And it works." There's a pause as she considers what she ought to tell him, how much to reveal of their future back home considering it ends how it does. On the other hand, the fact there's room for some hope isn't nothing. "You know back in Wakanda, he does okay. I think he finds some peace there."

[brooklyn_boy]

Steve looks up at Nat, hopeful at that. Sure, he knows how it ends. But on a long enough timeline, everyone dies. Maybe he should take comfort in that small thing. Bucky, alive and at peace for however long he was able to keep it.

"That's good. Neither of us really had a lot of time to relax or just...live. So, it's good he had even a little."

[outstandingbalance]

"And if he can have that home, maybe he can have some of it here with time and support." And that's what Steve can do. Steve, the alternate Bucky, any of their friends... Natasha herself. "And patience. A lot of patience."

[brooklyn_boy]

It's a good thought. A real good thought. Steve puts a hand on Nat's shoulder and squeezes it tight. "Yeah. Yeah, that would be...real good. Now, just to get some of that patience people keep talking so much about."

[outstandingbalance]

"Not really your greatest strength, is it?" The touch is comforting. Natasha leans into it, rocking a little sit to side. "But by your age, I figure you ought to have picked up something."

[brooklyn_boy]

"You would think." He shrugs because they should both know by now that he should have learned and if anything had gotten worse. It's just not in his nature to sit back and wait. Probably never would be.

"At least I have you to anchor me down."

[outstandingbalance]

"Maybe that means you're not quite as much of a grumpy old man as you pretend to be" She teases him gently. "But either way, being patient happens to be part of my skill set."

[brooklyn_boy]

"Why we're such a good team." He nudges her again and looks over at the shield, sighing. "I should get outta your hair. But thanks, Nat. Really. For everything."

[outstandingbalance]

"I should thank you too." She says. For listening to her and for letting her work through her emotions for a moment. She knows she's not always that good at it. "Nice to get that off my hands."