driftfleet | calling all nosy comms officers

Who: Nelkeila Tarid
Broadcast: Open! And then encrypted!
Action: Three Twins
When: Before the Shuffle

[the elf is half-dressed at his comms station as usual, wrapped in a sheet that he has dragged from his bunk, like a slob. he's settled in there, with a snack and an idea. and this idea sprouted its way into his head while paging through the frequencies, listening in on conversations--both public and encrypted--like any good, nosy comms officer.

it makes him wonder if there's anyone else out there doing the same thing. so, he starts out with a normal, bland, video broadcast. just some smiley elven guy derping around on the network.]

So... you ever wonder why they pick certain people to bring here? Like, what it is about them that makes them think "hey, this guy would be perfect for our show?"

There are so many people now, and... I don't know... everybody's really different, I think. It just makes me wonder.

[and then, with a few taps of the keyboard, he quietly sets up an encryption, so that only curious folks with a comms augment can break in and see the rest of the broadcast--]

→ encrypted
[and he can't help but laugh and let his eyes go dramatically wide, shaking his head.]

Because, wow... some of these people are weird.

[he's not really expecting much of a response, honestly. he is perhaps underestimating how many comms folks there might be poking around in the encrypted corners of the network.]

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Well, you know what they say. Weirdness sells.

That and sex.

Oh.

[he says this with wide eyes because Crowley may have just solved the whole mystery.

good job. pieces have suddenly clicked together in his head.]

...So, they're hoping for really weird sex.

[Crowley does this. He's good at figuring out omnipresent...things. ]

Wouldn't be surprised. Of course, these are all aliens, so their idea of weird might be a lot ...more out there than we realise.

Like... do you think that maybe they think what we do is weird, or are they hoping for, like...

[gosh, give him a minute. he kind of trails off, trying to put into words the weirdest thing he can think of.

and it will take a bit.]

Let's not give them any ideas, now. But yes, I expect they think the weirdness will just...happen.

[taking Crowley's advice, he shuts his mouth before he jinxes them. and then he thinks for a minute.]

...You'd think they'd pick people to be on the show who were more... into it though, you know?

Ah, but then there's no chase, is there? If people give it all up freely. They want some drama to it, as well. Make it entertaining.

Oh, yeah. Good point.

...I guess they'd probably call it something else, if it was just a show where everyone banged all the time.

What? Like Coitus Fleet?

[he sputters and laughs, before clapping a hand over his mouth for a moment. but it's really only because he's sure his crew is going to come investigate if he makes too much noise.]

Oh gods... Oh! But that's too far from the original name, y'know?

It's gotta be something like... Dick Fleet.

That's awfully unfair to the dick-less members of the Fleet, don't you think?

Oh... I guess so.

[he hadn't thought of that because WHAT ARE WOMEN.

also, he was proud of Dick Fleet, really.]

Eh, go for it anyway. I'm sure the other half can name it Boob Fleet or something.

[he's quiet for a long minute, thinking this over.

the wheels are turning.

surely there must be something more fitting...]

[and he's so proud of himself when the stroke of genius finally hits him.]

--No, the Tit fleet!

[...the only thing saving him is that the broadcast is not a public one.]

[That gets a loud laugh from the demon.]

Fair play. Tit Fleet it is.

[the laugh is reward enough, and gets him grinning proudly.]

You know, I bet it already exists somewhere.

Maybe one day it'll pass us by, in a Very Special Drift Fleet episode.

calling all nosy comms officers

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