driftfleet | action | party mingle

I'll find a way to recover from it. Besides, I still haven't made that determination for myself.

[Wild though?] But with the Wildlings are we still talking about people and not bears or something?

Oh, no, they're not bears or anything. They just don't live in castles or houses like normal people do. They travel around and hunt - they don't farm or anything like that. I'm not certain I'm describing them very well?

( It's difficult when everyone in the North inherently knows what a Wildling is and, frankly, had been raised to fear them until just recently. It's only now, with Jon's help, that they are allies and not enemies. )

Sounds like they have a hunter, gatherer culture. Maybe nomadic? Where they don't settle in one specific spot but maybe move with the seasons and game? Just a different kind of normal. After all, we don't live in castles or houses currently. [Gesturing to the spaceship around them. Not that they live on the Iskaulit either, but you get the point.]

Yes, that's more what I mean. They used to go on raids, too. They'd still women or livestock, sometimes grain. War has changed that somewhat but I suppose there's still some factions of Wildlings that go raiding.

( Those had been things told to her as a child to frighten her, but, honestly, the Wildlings Sansa knows aren't terrible people at all. They're just different. )

Okay, well, I'm not going to defend people who are stealing women. Your world sounds like a hard place to be a woman in general. [Not like it was perfect in her world even before things crumbled, but still the differences are notable from what she's heard.]

It's much different than it is here, yes. I find it easier to be...happy here. I should feel guilty about that, I think, but I don't.

( It's something she tries to push from her mind, most of the time, in exchange for more stolen happiness. )

No reason to feel guilty. I mean, we're all prisoners here and it's good to not forget that, but some of us came from some pretty rough places. [Herself very much included.] It's complicated.

It is quite complicated. Things are simpler here in the Fleet, I think, and I think that’s why I prefer it.

( At least it’s the lie she tells herself and she’s almost convinced it’s truth. )

Well, I was not trying to call the fleet simple, but if you think it is then things are definitely messed up back home. [Her home is woefully messed up, but in a pretty straightforward way.]

Well, to me it is simpler because I have to worry about...less politics, if that makes sense? There's the Atroma, naturally, but most of us aren't trying to fight one another which makes things easier in the day to day.

( Sansa's certain there's people within the Fleet who don't like one another, not everyone can live in harmony, but the difference is that they cannot field armies against one another to avenge perceived slights or claim territory. That, in her eyes, makes it a little easier. )

It's something of a foreign concept to me at this point, but yes, it makes sense. There was a lot structure where you were from, right? Lots of kings and queens and nobility and royalty and titles and systems for ranking people.

( Sansa nods a bit. )

Yes, we have lords and lesser lords and all have to pay homage to the king or queen on the Iron Throne. It's a lot different than here.

I am a captain if you'd like to pay homage to me. I've never had homage. Is it good with wine? [She's kidding. She knows what homage is.]

It usually comes with wine and toasts so, yes, I'll pay you homage Ser Kitty.

( The idea of it is utterly ridiculous but Sansa likes Kitty and she does need more mirth in her life. She smiles here, and laughs, and it feels as if part of her heart has thawed somewhat. )

[Kitty chuckles at her reply.] Sounds good. I hope Tyrion doesn't get jealous. He at least used to prefer when all of the wine was for him.

He doesn't drink as much now. I think some of it is because he knows I don't like it but I hope some of it is because he's happier.

( Sansa knows that back home, Tyrion often drank because he was deeply unhappy. She hopes it isn't the case here. )

There's been a dramatic decline for sure. [And it started before Sansa, but it's been even less since she came she thinks. Of course, she's not always with Tyrion. But she thinks she sees the same trend. Although he definitely wanted a drink after Sansa disappeared the second time. Come to think of it, he probably wanted one after the first Sansa disappeared even though they hadn't been nearly as close.]

Does it bother you that he works at a bar?

No. The only thing that would bother me is if Tyrion came to our marriage bed drunk but he didn't do that but the once in King's Landing and I was just a girl then, not really old enough to be a true bride. He doesn't do that now.

( Tyrion has his own interests, after all, and Sansa doesn't think she needs to prevent him from pursuing them. )

[It sounds so weird hearing about a marriage bed and she's not sure why that sounds dirtier than a regular bed somehow. She's pretty sure it's meant to sound more wholesome.]

Did...uh...Everything was okay, right? [She trusts Tyrion and yet...it was a different time and place he lived in with different norms. It's also a little after the fact to be asking and she seems to want to be with him now, hopefully not out of a sense of duty.]

He drank because he was forced to marry me and didn't want to. He never touched me. He barely touches me now even when I want him to - he's incredibly cautious.

( Sansa is so grateful for that, more than she can ever explain. )

He...really? Barely? [They are talking about the same Tyrion, right? Granted, she'd never really seen him in a relationship except at a distance. But when Sansa wasn't around he'd talk of wanting to find transactional romance. He didn't use those words. Or propositioning her, not that she's mentioning that part.]

He doesn't want to frighten me or upset me. I implied the first time we married that I would never want him but I was a frightened girl, not a woman. In between then and now, I was married to...well, I was married to a monster. I think Tyrion's afraid his touch is something I don't want.

( Sansa sighs a bit and rubs her nose. This isn't something she should talk about with anyone else, it's between she and Tyrion, but Kitty is a sympathetic ear and a woman besides. )

I want him to touch me. I just don't know how to ask.

You could try, "I want you to touch me." I find it remarkably effective on most men. [She says this as earnestly as she can. She doesn't want to be flippant especially after hearing of the "monster."]

I'm sorry about that other marriage. [She's not sure what he did to earn the title monster, but nothing good she assumes.]

I've tried that. He just reminds me that he's chaste and celibate for me. I just don't want him to be anymore. I want to be normal, to not be afraid of being with my own husband because of something a terrible man did to me. I'm tired of Ramsay Bolton still being in my bed after he's dead and gone.

( Sansa is very frustrated with the whole situation but she doesn't know how to broach it, doesn't know how to get Tyrion to see she is ready for another step closer to a full intimate relationship. )

Ramsey. [She recognizes that name. Theon spoke of him. Definitely a monster. Not that she was doubting it before.]

Are you still afraid? [She said she doesn't want to be afraid, not that she wasn't after all. Maybe that's what Tyrion is picking up on.] There wouldn't be anything wrong with it if you were. It would be a normal reaction too.

action | party mingle

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