driftfleet | LF tank, emotional boss fight heroic, PST

Entry tags:

LF tank, emotional boss fight heroic, PST

Who: Stephanie Amell and Hiro Hamada
Broadcast: No
Action: VR Dome, closed
When: sometime right around now

[ Steffa has been spending a lot of time in the VR Dome since their arrival. Not so much that she wasn't helping where she could with the repairs to the Bishop, but there always seemed to be hands on deck as far as that was concerned, and a majority of her free time was spent reading or just relaxing in virtual recreations of the Circle tower she grew up in.

After all, what better way to remind her sleeping mind that there was not always blood and bodies, that there were no longer blood and bodies, than by spending a lot of time there? Right? So she'd be able to stop having nightmares?

It hadn't actually helped with the nightmares, but she thought maybe it would with a little more time. Until she'd pulled up a workroom today, walked in, and could've sworn she saw bodies in the corner. They weren't there, she had looked and they weren't there, but it had shaken her deeply.

Which is probably why she's currently wedged herself in a corner between a stone wall and a bookcase and has her forehead pressed to her knees, trembling and breathing hard, like she's trying to catch her breath. ]

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[he's been snooping around too much in this dome in his free time, looking in the different rooms and seeing what people are up to. it's never anything dangerous or promiscuous, but he thinks that's on purpose. rules and regulations, after all. so when he pokes his head into this room and hears what he perceives as crying, he thinks it's probably best to leave--

[that is, until he sees who it is.

[upon noticing stephanie, hiro bolts into the room, closing the door behind him.]

Steffa!

[he's not meaning to startle her, intending to drop to his knees in front of her and take her shoulders gently in his hands.]

[ Steffa's head snaps up the second Hiro says her name, though she doesn't process who's doing the saying at first. For a split second, she hears her name - her nickname - in such a clearly pubescent voice and she thinks... She thinks "thank the Maker, someone survived".

But then her brain catches up with her eyes, and it's just Hiro. Her face crumples a little, of its own accord, but she's not crying yet. Not quite. ]

I-- I'm fine. I'm fine.

[ which would probably be more believable if she didn't sound like she's on the verge of being hysterical. ]

[she's not crying, there aren't tears, but she was hyperventilating. she's not okay. he knows she's not okay.]

Steffa, hey. Don't lie to me, I heard that.

[he grips her shoulders just a little tighter, concern plastered across his features.]

What happened?

[ She should pull herself together. She's the Hero of Ferelden, the Warden-Commander of Vigil's Keep, she can pull herself together.

Except... except that she can't, and Hiro's here and lying at this point would be pretty much pointless. ]

There were... bodies, last time I was here. [ she glances over his shoulder, at a bare patch of floor ] I thought I saw them again. They're not there, I know they're not, but I saw them anyway.

[ She stops talking and squeezes her eyes shut, trying to slow her breathing. She will be calm. She will be calm. She's fine. It was almost two years ago, now.

She's fine. ]

[hiro looks, too, making sure for her that yes, she's correct, they're not there. he nods to her, and tugs her a bit, knowing he can't really imagine what she's gone through in her life from the stories she's told him but knowing he has to try to put himself in her shoes.]

C'mere.

[his voice is calm, but worried, and he just wants to give her a hug like she's done for him in the past. he owes her that, and beyond reciprocation, she's one of his very best friends here.]

[ She scoots shakily out of her little wedged corner and leans into Hiro. She intended to just ground herself with the physical contact, because she's fine, she just needs to get herself under control again, but it doesn't work.

Once she's initiated that physical contact, she can almost physically feel something inside of her crack, that wall holding everything together crumbling under the pressure, and she almost chokes on the sob that escapes her lips quite against her best efforts to be calm.

First one sob, she could deal with one sob. But it's followed by another. And another. Tears start slipping down her cheeks and suddenly instead of pulling herself together, she's sobbing hysterically into Hiro's shoulder, completely unable to stop herself.

She remembers the sight of people she knew and sometimes even loved laying lifeless on the floor, smeared across the walls, sometimes unidentifiable. Raised as undead to fight her, twisted into abominations. She remembers the smell, and it's worse than any Darkspawn horde, because of what it represented. The silence in the halls after they'd cleared an area, completely lacking the sounds of life that had always permeated the tower even in the quietest hours of the night. The feeling of stepping in entrails and blood that had once belonged to a friend or a teacher.

She'd never cried about it, when it happened, there hadn't been time. There were things to do, she couldn't waste time falling apart when the Blight was still looming. And then it had been so long, and she had other responsibilities... And somehow realizing she'd never cried for the lives lost in Uldred's takeover just makes her cry harder.

She can't really speak coherently, but the sobbing might include sounds of what might be "I'm sorry". ]

[he doesn't try to stop her, just hooks one arm around her as steadily as he can and tries to tuck her hair away from her face so it doesn't get in the way with the other hand. that might turn into running fingers through her hair, quiet and calm and comforting.]

It's gonna be okay... [just let it out, whatever it is you've been holding in for however long.]

[ It takes a while to get it out. A while and a lot of physical strain - full-body-wracking sobs are rough, and she's got quite a few of them in her. It almost feels right - her body hurting as much as the rest of her over all of this, and her hands twisted in Hiro's shirt so tightly her knuckles have gone white, because if she lets go she feels like she'll fall.

Eventually, though... eventually it peters out. She doesn't quite stop crying, but she's hiccuping a little, still shaking but breathing slower, her fists loosening their death grip on Hiro's shirt. She can't really tell if she got out the worst of it or if she's just too spent to keep sobbing, but whatever it is, she'll take it.

Her voice is quiet, wobbly, and rough when she manages to get actual words out. ]

I'm sorry.

[he's gonna shift a little here, move so he can sit more comfortably with her and keep on holding her the way he's been doing so far. he'll stay here all night if he needs to.]

It's okay. You're okay, Steffa.

[... and when he thinks about it, this is something he can affect, right? that upgrade he got at the end of the month kicked in...

[so he tries. he closes his eyes, concentrates, and projects a soothing air into the room.]

I'm here with you, alright? You've seen me at my worst, I'm here for yours.

[ It's a deep hurt, but even that slight calming helps a little bit. If nothing else, it helps her steady her breathing.

She feels like she should be embarrassed about how she just had some sort of meltdown on a kid 4 years younger than her, but... well, she doesn't have the energy to care right now. She'll care later. ]

[ very quietly ] They died, you know. Almost everyone in the Circle. It would've been all of them, but we-- we went in, to see if we could save some of them. There were bodies... everywhere.

[his empathy betrays his age, that's for sure.

[he frowns, though he's more concerned with being her support right now than showing her his expression.]

... I can't imagine how horrible that was.

It was my home. [ Her voice cracks on the last word. ] It wasn't one I chose, and maybe the Circles aren't how mages should be treated, but it was my home.

I thought maybe... if I spent time in the rooms, while we were here. Without the blood or the bodies, I thought... I thought I'd stop dreaming about it.

... I'm so sorry, Steffa. I had no idea.

[he keeps running fingers through her hair, just trying to keep her steady while he continues to use his augmented power on the room.]

You did everything you could.

I didn't want you to. [ She sniffles a bit, closing her eyes and trying to focus on the feeling of his fingers combing through her hair, because that's safe and calming. ] Everyone has so much to deal with, I didn't want to put it on anyone else.

Hey. I always have room for your problems, too. You had this on you and you still took care of me when Tadashi came.

[ she doesn't quite smile, but she presses into his touch for a moment as a way to acknowledge his words and that they mean a lot to her. Having Hiro in her life since coming here has been a blessing from the Maker. ]

People looked to me to be a leader. I... I didn't have time to have problems.

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LF tank, emotional boss fight heroic, PST

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