driftfleet | 003 ;;

Who: Winter & You
Broadcast: Fleetwide
Action: The Iskaulit
When: 3/20

[ Text ]

How does everyone deal with loss? How much of an impact is it meant to have?

Similar. Unrelated. Is anyone familiar with Post Traumatic Stress Disorder? I would like to know more.

[ Action >> Iskaulit ]

[ If you happen to be on the Iskaulit at any time in the wee hours of the morning, between two and six, you may run into Winter utilizing the gym. There aren't really posted hours, and that's usually when no one else is around.

The poor sandbags that he helped Jim hang all those months ago are getting a beating. Winter's focus is zeroed in on the same worn spot, but apparently something gives. Winter reels his left arm back, a high metallic whine the only warning before he lands a blow. It's enough force that not only does it knock the sandbag from its hook, but it goes flying across the room like it's nothing.

Emotional? Who's emotional? Nobody here. Mind your business! ]

[ Action >> Heron ]

[ Winter may have been restless before, but without Jim, this is something new entirely. Crew have been coming and going regularly over the past few months, but this is different. The Atroma decided that he should be captain? Over someone who would probably be more capable at it. He sees what you did there. You just couldn't pass up the chance to not have to change names in the roster, huh?

He's trying to wrap his head around it. Sure, he led teams on missions as the Winter Soldier, but that was different. He wasn't really calling the shots. Being Captain is new and scary and leaves room for so much to go wrong.

If anyone wants to bother him, or happens to be visiting, he is more than likely roaming the halls trying to burn off the nervous energy. He's comfortable with the ship, but now he wants to know it inside and out. ~~As if he hadn't already done that.~~ Honestly, he is distraught without Jim and doesn't know how to handle it. It's not as if he can talk to Natasha about it, either. Or Steve.

The message is more than clear- don't get attached. ]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

How people deal with loss differs for everyone. There isn't one right way to deal with it. How much it impact a person...well, that depends on a lot of things. The nature of the loss, when it happens, how close you were to who was lost...

As for PTSD, I'm afraid I only know the textbook medical definitions. [He's a medic, not a therapist]

I wasn't close to anyone else. Like missing a limb.

[ Maybe a bad metaphor, but that's exactly what it feels like. An extension of himself is just... gone. ]

I wasn't told much about it in the first place.

I see. That's a difficult loss to go through, then. I'm sorry.

[And a pause as he thinks how to explain what he knows without going off into medical terminology]

Alright. PTSD is...well, normally when something very bad happens to a person, it can affect them for a little while. They have nightmares, their thoughts keep going back to it, they become hyper-vigilant looking for any signs that what they went through is going to happen again. Their emotions and adrenaline run high for a little while, in other words. It's a survival mechanism.

But for most people, that's all temporary. As time passes and nothing happens, they start to recover. The nightmares become less frequent, they stop being hyper-vigilant, and they're able to focus on other things again. Those symptoms might spring up again from time to time- especially if they encounter something related to their trauma. But overall, they begin to move on.

However, a person with PTSD...doesn't move on. The survival mechanism that got triggered by the traumatic event either doesn't turn off, or it gets turned on again when it's not needed. Eventually the chemicals that are released start to change the neurological patterns and physiology of their brain so it's even harder for them to recover on their own, and it makes it very hard for them to function in daily life.

Usually if someone's diagnosed with it, they're treated by a therapist. [Though that's kinda hard...out here]

Thank you for the information.

Is it a common thing in this place?

Officially medically speaking, I don't know. An official diagnosis for PTSD requires a certified mental health professional, not just a doctor. Currently, we don't have anyone like that.

Unofficially, if I had to give a guess... [...] Yeah, I'd wager it's bloody common enough in places like this. [He's seen it enough times not to believe otherwise]

The diagnosis doesn't matter so much as dealing with potential symptoms of it.

[ There's a pause ]

Are you asking for yourself or someone else? [He can guess it'd be for Winter, but you know, best to make sure]

It was brought up to me once. I thought I would ask more about it.

[ Still not really an answer. ]

[Gee always so helpful Winter...]

Right.

There's a long list of symptoms, last time I recall reading about it. Generally the treatment is different types of therapy. Talking to a counselor about what happened, undergoing cognitive behavioral therapy, group therapy... [He'd mention the medications, but that's not even a possibility here so let's not open that Pandora's box] What works varies from person to person. There's no fix-all cure for PTSD, so most of treatments are about finding ways to help a person cope and function day to day.

[ Asking for a friend, don't worry about why he needs the information, Allen. God. ]

I'm not sure any of those will work.

[ Frankly, 'cognitive behavioral therapy' sounds too fucking similar to 'wipe and start over' for his taste. Even the idea of therapy itself puts knots in his stomach. ]

Yeah. Maybe, maybe not. I'm afraid I'm not qualified to vouch for any of them specifically. Like I said before, I only know the basics about it.

Thank you, Allen.

It's no trouble, Winter.

And hey...if you want my opinion? If anyone can overcome these things, it's you. You're a really strong person.

Doesn't feel like it sometimes.

No, I'd imagine not.

But it's true. You've come a long way. [He remembered when he first met Winter. When he was deep in his programming, when he barely responded and barely sounded human. Yet here he was...talking to people, asking questions, thinking for himself.] That's no small feat, even if you still have more to go.

No, I guess not.

I'm unsure what to do next.

[ Most of the reason he's even gotten this far is gone, and without that compass he feels lost. ]

Well...you seem to be talking to people. Is that helping at all?

Not especially.

[...]

I see.

Well, usually if I'm upset and talking isn't helping...I like to hit things. Or get involved in a project that keeps me really busy. [Like learn medicine, learn a new weapon, or...join a war...look he never said his coping skills were healthy okay]

We'll see how it goes.

[ Which probably doesn't sound all that promising. ]

[noooope it does not]

If you need anything, you can ask me. I mean, I'm not Jim but...

[Well. He can do some stuff to help anyway]

I'll figure it out. Thanks anyway.

003 ;;

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text; god this is so late I'm sorry

text; IT'S OKAY!

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