driftfleet | (no subject)

[Normally, Stefan wouldn't think too much about Kirito's sudden blanket fort. Movie nights call for those, after all - and given their selection, Stefan usually conks out halfway through. (He can't remember watching a movie the whole way.)

But when he realizes who's just lying there, he can't help wandering over.]

Everything okay?

[Kirito doesn't even lift up the blanket, though he does make the effort to tug one side of his headphones loose to hear Stefan.]

...Are you asking me?

No, I'm asking the dust bunny underneath the couch.

[He even kneels, just to peer underneath and give off the impression that he's indeed befriended the little guys, before shaking his head at his bro.]

Of course I'm asking you. You've been kind of... there.

...Yep. There. Here. Whatever. This is home now.

[He half rolls over, so he's at least facing Stefan, eyes narrowed conspiratorily, voice hushed.]

Do you want access to the fort, captain?

Aye aye, first mate. [He gives the world's laziest salute, keeping his voice equally hushed.] Tu casa es mi casa, or so the saying goes.

[Kirito stares at him for a long moment, deadeyed, and then flops the blanket back down again.]

I don't speak French.

[That was definitely not French, but whatever.]

[ . . . ]

That was Spanish, and hey - I thought you were gonna let me in?

[Without another word, he leans over and reaches for the blanket, tugging on it with (gentle) force.]

I made no such promises.

[He makes no effort to stop Stefan from pulling the blanket up again, though.]

No? You might wanna rethink that position.

[He's coming in, anyway, careful not to disturb the space beyond his presence. As it's a blanket fort, and not Kirito's actual room, he has zero problems with that threshold.]

[Kirito doesn't move to make room for him, but since he's kind of a little guy, he doesn't really need to. He squints sleepily at Stefan through the dark, the tent only illuminated by the comm screen, and offers an ear bud out to him. It's quietly playing an oldschool-sounding jingle.]

[He accepts the ear bud, carefully listening to the song. Stefan can't quite place it: the jingle sounds familiar and yet totally foreign at the same time.]

It's peaceful, [he says softly.] Is it from one of your games?

[Kirito's voice drops as well when he responds, though whether it's because he's sleepily imitating Stefan's, or because of the subject itself... well, who can say.]

Yeah... it used to play during the daytime on Aincrad's first floor.

[Stefan doesn't remember server names, but the weight behind the name doesn't escape him.]

Hm. So it's like a piece of home.

Edited 2017-03-23 18:57 (UTC)

Kinda, yeah.

[His tone is conflicted, admittedly. SAO is such a mixed bag of wonderful and awful in his mind, and even years of counselling that he never fully took advantage of hasn't so much as put a dent in his unpacking of what happened there. He leans back, staring at the blanket ceiling with an uneasy expression.]

I used to hate it. We were stuck on the first floor for a month, but even after that, it was always the most populated town in the whole game. I left on the first day and spent most of my time out in the field, but I think about the people who were too scared to leave the safe zone of that first city, sometimes. They lived there for months... years, for some of them. Listening to this song over and over, twelve hours a day, waiting for death, or for someone else to save them...

[The song hiccups for a second as it fades out, then resets, repeating itself from the beginning as it occasionally does at random (though Kirito can only assume the reason for that is "irony"). It's pretty, a jaunty, upbeat tune, but prolonged exposure for months and months could surely drive someone mad.]

[Anyone would hate it, if they were confronted with such an audial reminder of the world that trapped them for so long. It's not unlike being stuck on the Fleet: no matter how many worlds they visit, no matter how many different cultures and species they encounter, they're still confined to the Marsiva and her merry band of ships.

Stefan rubs his elbows as he listens to Kirito, his gaze briefly dropping down to his daylight ring.]

They must've been waiting a long time. Not everyone has the strength to save themselves, and no matter how much you want to save them, it's not... [his voice grows quiet:] it's not always something they'll go along with.

[Back when he had first learned of SAO, he had sworn he would never touch a video game console. Now, he's clearly learned the difference between a MMO and the games the Fleet has to offer - but sometimes, when he gets glimpses of what that must've been like, he can't blame Kirito for keeping quiet.]

[Kirito frowns tightly for a moment before his expression relaxes again, evidently too tired to get properly upset. It's the only reason he's even bringing it up, at this point.]

I never started out looking to save anyone... nothing about what I did there was heroic like that. I abandoned everyone on the first day just to get a head's start, and all I cared about was surviving. Two thousand people died in the first month of SAO because of selfish people like me.

[ "Because of him?" Stefan finds that a little hard to believe, given how many lives have ended in his hands. Unless Kirito directly weighed the scales in his favor (which Stefan doubts), then...

No. Stefan's mulling over technicalities, not what actually happened. He's quiet, almost calculating in what he asks: ]

You were looking after yourself. But what did you do after that first month? Did you ever go back?

Not exactly. More like the rest of the front lines caught up with me, and we all got stuck in the same place. By the time that first month was up, we managed to get together a group big enough to fight the first boss, but...

[He trails off, looking uncertainly at the dim blanket ceiling above them. He could say a lot that might justify his choices after that day, but aren't they just excuses?]

I thought it was better for everyone if I didn't stick around, so I left again after that.

[ oh.

Somehow that wasn't the answer Stefan was expecting. He sits up straighter, careful to take out the earbud so he won't accidentally yank it out or anything.

Quietly, with no malice or judgment (just honest curiosity): ]

Left where? To fight the boss or to continue carving your own path?

No, we beat the boss. At first we were celebrating the win, but Diavel, the party leader, died in the fight, so everyone started to turn on the beta testers. They thought we'd been withholding information and got him killed. I figured that if the group fell apart like that, we'd never progress, so I just got them to blame me instead. Since I was already playing solo, it didn't really matter if they hated me...

[He's not really sure if he's trying to convince Stefan, or himself. It's more or less the truth of it, anyway.]

Maybe. [he pauses, for a second,] You sound like my brother. Better to give everyone a common enemy rather than let them bicker and lose sight of the real goal, right?

That makes it sound so much more selfless than it was.

[He really can't give himself that much credit.]

Really? Based on the Kirito I know, it didn't seem that far from the truth.

Or maybe... uh, I guess I just want to always believe the best in everyone.

That's so like you.

[Well, it is kind of nice to be believed in, even if he thinks it's unfounded.]

Fair. [ He stifles a laugh. ] But if it's not as selfless as you make it sound, then you've changed for the better. I think.

(no subject)

huaaaaagh - 2017-05-10 01:26 (UTC) - Expand