Edwin Jarvis (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
edwinjarvis) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
driftfleet2017-03-12 08:30 pm
edwinjarvis) wrote in driftfleet2017-03-12 08:30 pm
video. sponsor drop... FLAMINGOS EVERYWHERE GOD SAVE THE QUEEN
Who: Jarvis and you
Broadcast: Fleetwide
Action: SS Tourist
When: Today!
[Jarvis had just been returning to the SS Tourist after a day of working in the water and at the bar on the Iskaulit — it's clearly the Atroma's doing, some sort of surprise for the butler that must've been quite desired... clearly... He stumbles a bit in the dark, confused, because when is the cargo bay ever dark?]
.... Miss Price?
[He flicks on the main lighting system at last after a mild curse hitting his knee, and he's horrified by what he sees, as Hotel California plays muffled over the speakers. Not played by anyone on board, of course. But that's not the worst of it... No, the worst of it is that he finds himself... surrounded. By plastic...pink... flamingos.]
Oh... dear god.
...
[He plucks up a note.]
"To Edwin Jarvis, to help with the homesickness, a kind sponsor has decided to offer an army of your favorite Earth creature..."
[He looks to the left. Flamingos. To the right. Flamingos. There's some sitting in the shuttle seats. There's one wearing one of his ties.
Jarvis wipes a hand across his forehead, looking to the floor in his shock.]
... This is the worst day of my life.
[One of the flamingos tips over and clatters.
DISCONNECTED.
....
no, no, this is not over!!!
RECONNECTED.]
What in the bloody underworld am I supposed to do with dozens upon dozens of these?!
[hands on HIPS!!!! LECTURING THE ATROMA!!!!]
This is a sour waste of resources!! I would like a recall! Nobody wants your army of — of — hellbirds!
[... Outside of the SS Tourist, they've also peppered the ocean floor around the ship with flamingos, too.]
Broadcast: Fleetwide
Action: SS Tourist
When: Today!
[Jarvis had just been returning to the SS Tourist after a day of working in the water and at the bar on the Iskaulit — it's clearly the Atroma's doing, some sort of surprise for the butler that must've been quite desired... clearly... He stumbles a bit in the dark, confused, because when is the cargo bay ever dark?]
Hello? Captain??
.... Miss Price?
[He flicks on the main lighting system at last after a mild curse hitting his knee, and he's horrified by what he sees, as Hotel California plays muffled over the speakers. Not played by anyone on board, of course. But that's not the worst of it... No, the worst of it is that he finds himself... surrounded. By plastic...pink... flamingos.]
Oh... dear god.
...
[He plucks up a note.]
"To Edwin Jarvis, to help with the homesickness, a kind sponsor has decided to offer an army of your favorite Earth creature..."
[He looks to the left. Flamingos. To the right. Flamingos. There's some sitting in the shuttle seats. There's one wearing one of his ties.
Jarvis wipes a hand across his forehead, looking to the floor in his shock.]
... This is the worst day of my life.
[One of the flamingos tips over and clatters.
DISCONNECTED.
....
no, no, this is not over!!!
RECONNECTED.]
What in the bloody underworld am I supposed to do with dozens upon dozens of these?!
[hands on HIPS!!!! LECTURING THE ATROMA!!!!]
This is a sour waste of resources!! I would like a recall! Nobody wants your army of — of — hellbirds!
[... Outside of the SS Tourist, they've also peppered the ocean floor around the ship with flamingos, too.]
Action
...Why?
[That's the real question here. Why. He reaches over to kick one lightly with his foot. Hrrrrm.]
Perhaps you can sell them to the planet residents.
Action
[He considers the collect, rubbing his chin.]
... I could offer them for the inhabitants, free of charge, really.
Colorful little birds where there aren't any.
Action
...I suppose they would be shifted better for free, but we could probably use the money for the ship.
Action
[He frowns.]
They need their money far more than we need ours, though. What with the ailing refugees...
[#BLEEDING HEART]
Action
...True. They do need it more than we do. At the moment.
Action
After all, imagine these hideous things watching you as you go about your business on the ship.
Action
...I'd rather not. They are the stuff of nightmares.
Action
Just because they're a pleasant color doesn't detract from their bullying ways.
Action
I would agree they are ugly but bullying? They are plastic.
Action
I had the misfortune of having a living, breathing flamingo in my care.
Action
I have never come across one myself. Are they vicious?
Action
He enjoyed pecking buttons off my vest. And I skinned one too many knees recapturing him.
Action
It is quite a strange beak. Are they very sharp? It must hurt to be pecked by one.
[(As someone how HAS been pecked by one: IT SURE FUCKING DOES)]
Action
It's terribly painful, especially when you try to pick them up.
They have very long necks you know. [This 6'3" dude has an impressive windspan of his own, as he shows an exaggerated length with his arms out.] Very long reaches.
Action
Fenris watches that impressive armspan grow.]
I shall be sure never to touch one, should I meet a real one.
Action
[What a fucking drama queen.
Anyways. He rubs his chin, in deep, deep thought.]
Now, to figure out how to transport all of these.
Action
[So helpful.]
Action
Perhaps multiple trips would be a necessity.
Action