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(no subject)

Who: Zhas & You!!
Broadcast: None (probably)
Action: Planetside OR Red Fish
When: Forward dated to the 31st, late at night

► PLANET-SIDE

[back home, Zhas had a long-standing tradition of not working on Halloween. he gets totally into it. he puts on his best "normal person" costume and goes out and parties and drinks and talks to the locals like he actually belongs there. it's the one day a year he doesn't obsessively hunt down monsters or worry about his slowly-decaying family.

he may be lightyears away from home, on a planet with no vampires or any proper Halloween festivities, but like hell he's going to let that get in the way of his traditional day off. he can be found hanging around town, dressed in a nondescript black shirt, not covered in weapons, and not wearing any facepaint. he might be kind of hard to recognize--though his eyes are still glowing an unsettling, jack-o-lantern orange under the dim, clouded night sky.

oh, and there's blood on his face. his nose was bleeding, or something. he apparently hasn't noticed. actually, to be completely honest, he's kind of having trouble noticing that he's going to run into things until he nearly stumbles over them. once or twice he has to like, hold his hands out to navigate around a lamp-post. dude's pretty drunk.]

► RED FISH

[...unless you're on the Red Fish. he's cleaned up his face, but he's sort of tipsily putting ingredients together in the kitchen and messing around with the microwave? seriously, he accidentally brushed flour off on his shirt, like, what is he even doing. this is probably how fires start.]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Giant... Researcher... That doesn't sound as good. You need a really scary name.

[he clears his throat, then, because this is probably more than he's talked in years--if we're being perfectly honest.]

Do you know the story? Jack the Giant Killer? There were a bunch of them...

Heheheh. No, that is scary. I'm going to devour them right back... every last secret I can suck out of their bones...

[Her eyes bow. She looks really happy. Jeez.]

I sure don't! But if you know it... you should tell it...

[even though he starts shaking his head, her stupid bone-sucking image makes him laugh again.]

No.

[She reaches out and plants her knuckles on his face and grinds them a bit. Not really attacking him but grouchy.]

Yes. This is your captain speaking.

Nnnnggg...

[OKAY okay okay he grabs her arm and pulls it away from his face. she's lucky he's drunk, otherwise he might have tried to bite it off at the wrist.]

I don't... Wouldn't tell it well.

Aw, give it a shot, champ! I'll fix you some chicken. We can tell all kindsa stories.

... Okay.

[well, that was fast.]

Okay.

[She starts to work herself around. Working on getting to her feet.]

C'mon, kiddo, up and at 'em. Let's go. Galley table. [Unless he, like, really wants to eat here or something. Then he can just melt onto the floor some more. That's fine too.]

[nope nope he's got it... also rolling over so that he can push himself up onto his knees, and then wobble up onto his legs, and then... jesus did the spinning get worse while he was down there because he's sure got a mean drunken sway going--OH WHOOPS THERE HE GOES he's walking into the kitchen now let's hope he can land in a chair and not on his ass.]

[She follows him, but it's the blind leading the blind here as she's not really any more sober than he is.

Zhas can survive landing on his ass anyway. Hange lurches over to the kitchen apparatus and squints at it before programming takes over and she starts mechanically prepping chicken protein solid.]

You know what it's okay with? Cheese.

[he somehow slides into a chair and slumps over the table. he talks into his arm.]

Yeah. And the teriyaki. Did you know that there's a meat texture now.

Oooh, that's right! [She switches the machine over midproduction somehow. It makes a clunk-grind noise. This chicken is gonna be weird half tofu-like protein solid and half meat texture.] Do you want cheese, or teriyaki?

Both. [he says, unwisely, with confidence.]

[That seems like a... hmmm...]

... You sure?

Y...es.

[...he doesn't sound sure. she's making him doubt himself.]

...No, maybe just... teriyaki.

[That seems wise to her, especially with his recently-vacated stomach. She squints at the chicken, decides she'll finish off this weird protein hybrid herself, drizzles cheese all over it, and sets it aside. Then she makes another plate for him.

In a jiffy it's being shoved in front of him, complete with fork. His is all meat texture aw yes.]

Eat up, champ!

[he will not even question it. takes his fork and scoops a big meat-textured forkful of protein into his mouth. he is drunk and this tastes way less terrible than usual. how is he already on his second forkful. does he breathe when he eats. these are the questions you should be asking.]

[No man Hange eats like a wolf with a reasonable idea of what table manners entail. They can crouch over their separate bowls and inhale their food like a good pack. Hange is so into it. This chicken will be gone within five minutes and then she leans back, sighs contentedly, and then burps. Ah, better out then in.]

Excuse me.

[he eats very neatly as well; "mother" taught him good manners. he's just used to having maybe two minutes to wolf down whatever food he has on hand before having to move again. he also scrapes with his teeth--since he'd normally not want to mess up his paint.

he finishes not long after her and shoves his bowl away. leans forward and props his head up with a hand on his neck. looks content and aimless.]

[She just sits. Basks in being still kind of drunk and also now full of food.]

Hmm... what was your story? Hm?

Huh? [he... slumps even further forward, watch that little hamster spin in its wheel until he finally remembers what she's talking about.] Oh, Jack. The Giant Killer.

That's the one! Tell me your giant story. [ENTHUSED as per usual]

There's... A lot of them...

[oh... man this is going to be difficult. he can only remember one of them clearly. he loved them when he was a kid, but now that he's older... he starts telling something in that soulless monotone of his, gesturing very vaguely, maybe slipping into sign language just to think of the right words...]

Okay, okay. So there's this farmer, Jack. The kingdom is stuck in a... drought. And his farm is all dried up so he goes to the market to trade his cow for food... or something. When he's there he meets this... guy who is selling magic beans. Or he says they're magic. Jack thinks they're magic... So he trades his last cow for magic beans and goes back to his farm, and everyone thinks he's a dumbass because he traded his last thing for beans that are probably fake, right.

[She's listening but she's also totally distracted by his signing. Staring intently at his hands, very interested. She remembers a few of those letters...

She's just gonna be a terrible listener here.]

Hey. Hey. You should teach me that.

What.

[he drops his hands. didn't even notice.]