☮ 003 ((video))

[delincuente]

Who: Alex Russo and YOU
Broadcast: Fleetwide
Action: SS Paisley
When: Evening of 6/22

[Alex is hanging out in the galley, her socked feet propped up on the table and a glass of soda in one hand, when she switches on the video feed. Her little boom box is sitting next to her, quietly playing another traditional Earth hymn to the god Bill Murray. Enjoy that, floots.]

So. Last night as a teenager.

[She takes a sip of soda, and pauses for a second, wondering if she's about to burp.

False alarm.] What kind of reckless, immature shenanigans should I get up to before the big 2-0 gets here?

[She turns up R. Kelly, and starts singing along as she waits for a reply. What a jammin' birthday.]

Comments

[feathery]

Eh, it's not like anyone would be able to tell. Besides, I don't want to crash your pre-birthday shenanigans.

[delincuente]

I'm drinking cereal-flavored wine in a spaceship, these shenanigans crashed and burned a long time ago. And it's still my best birthday since I was in New York.

[feathery]

Cereal-flavored wine? [Accompanied by a laugh.] Gross.

How long ago was New York.

[delincuente]

Yeah, Froot Loops. A demon gave it to me.

[She doesn't even grimace taking a swig of it. Her taste buds are questionable.]

Uh, three years, four months? I think.

[feathery]

That's almost as long as it's been since I saw Texas. Dunno how much of that was a loss, though.

[delincuente]

Hey, aside from all of the terrible parts, Texas has always sounded halfway okay. Did you wear a cowboy hat and clean your boots on cactuses, or something?

[feathery]

That is the rudest characterization of Houston I ever heard. At least put me in an astronaut costume.

[delincuente]

Okay, astronaut costume, cowboy hat on top, a steak in one hand, and a cow skull in the other. Does that sound better?

[feathery]

Don't forget the chaps.

[delincuente]

I would never! They're essential.

[feathery]

Ok, then your initial clunky reconstruction of Texan culture is forgiven.

So what about you. Isn't New York like. Nothing but wizards and snooty bookshrews across the vast plains of winter's asscrack.

A+ rose reference approved

[delincuente]

[She raises an eyebrow at "wizards".]

I don't know what part of New York you got lost in or whatever, but I haven't seen any vast plains near Tribeca. I'm from the city. Where we do have wizards, but I'd have to get back with you on the bookshrews and the asscrack.

how davesprite envisions ny: filled with rose lalondes

[feathery]

For real? Does everyone here have wizards. Are wizards actually commonplace in all universes besides the one I come from.

[He knows so many wizards, wtf.]

[delincuente]

Yeah, we've pretty much got wizards coming out of the woodwork. Of course, most people don't know about us. Maybe you have them too and you just don't know.

[feathery]

Wait, you're a wizard??? [Slowly dawning on him...] I guess that retroactively sheds light on the space pizza portrait.

[delincuente]

Oh. Yeah. Guilty as charged.

[She pulls her wand out of her boot - green and shiny, with a red orb on one end.]

Sorry to disappoint you, but I don't have a beard or a pointy hat. I can, however, put one on if you want.

[feathery]

The important question here is which one is more magical. Then you pick that one. I'm betting on the beard, for the record.

[delincuente]

Oh, the beard, definitely. I don't even have a wand, I just kind of tickle people with the beard to cast spells.

[feathery]

So the thing you're holding is really a fancy swizzle stick, huh.

[delincuente]

Yeah that's basically all it does. Also makes a pretty sick backscratcher.

[feathery]

Does it light up.

[delincuente]

[She gives it a little flick and the orb glows, illuminating her face green.]

A little, yeah.

[feathery]

Hell yeah. A backscratcher's not legit without a little Christmas touch.

[delincuente]

Yeah, and this way you can do it in the dark without poking anyone's eyes out. See, wizards come up with the best ideas.