🎂 001 The Saga Begins

[preformthisneigh]

Who: Cheese Sandwich and YOU
Broadcast: Fleetwide
Action: Marsiva
When: Right now!

[It takes a lot to worry an Equestrian. Given the fact their country faces some sort of horrendous attack once every few months, they've become rather used to the unexpected dropping upon them from great heights. As such, when the little tan pony hops out of bed, he doesn't look worried, but he does look a tad confused.

The last thing he remembers is seeing the magical rainbow all the way across the sky (it was so intense) and now, suddenly, there is space. He pulls a rubber chicken out of seemingly nowhere, plopping it on his back, before starting to walk over to the window, his hooves clip-clopping against the metal floor as he glances around his surroundings.]

Okaaaay. This is new. Where the hay are we?

[He rests a forehoof against the window once he arrives at it, peering out into the vast nothingness. He remembers another place, that wasn't Equestria, and was prone to fits of magical strangeness. He puts two and two together to make five. When he speaks again, it's a little louder, as if addressing an invisible audience, which he thinks he is.]

Hey, everypony. Did the castle turn into space while I was away?

[He wanders away from the window, seeking out his journal. He pays the communicator no mind for now, the thing he's looking for is distinctly more book-shaped.]

Comments

Video

[preformthisneigh]

[THERE'S A VOICE. Where the heck is his journal? ]

Yfandes? Yeah, I know I her. I mean, sure, there's a communication barrier there, but we get along okay.

Uh. But I'm not magical. I'm an Earth Pony. And I'm here to make everypony happy, not just somepony with magic.

[Even if it's not necessarily to be their friend. That takes more work, and hell if he knows how to do that. ]

Re: Video

[pain_train]

Oh wow, you do? [SHE WAS RIGHT!] Vanyel will be so happy, I bet!

You can talk. Of course you're magical.

Video

[preformthisneigh]

Of course he will. [As if that's a given. ] I make everypony happy.

Thaaaat would be like telling you that you're magical because you can talk. It's just something we can do.

I can pull a rubber chicken out of a hat, though!

Re: Video

[pain_train]

So you're the morale officer?

You're the only talking horse I've ever met, though.

That's cool! And sounds pretty magical, unless it's just a really big hat.

Video

[preformthisneigh]

Iiiin a way. I'm a party pony, it's not like a military tile or anything like that. We don't get medals.

There are lots of us in Equestria.

Nope, it's a perfectly normal sized hat. And a perfectly normal sized rubber chicken. Say hi, Boneless Two.

[The rubber chicken atop his back says nothing. It stares at her, empty and inanimate. ]

Video

[pain_train]

A party pony? Is that kind of like a onekid? [All this pony stuff is a little confusing.]

Is that the name of your planet? [There's a whole horse planet? OH GOD ARE THERE HORSE ALIENS?]

I haven't known any rubber chickens before, so I'll believe you!

Video

[preformthisneigh]

I have no idea what that is, but if they throw parties to make somepony happy, then sure!

It's the name of a country in a bigger world. There are other kingdoms in our world, too, y'see. But us ponies mostly stay in our own. [There are totally horse aliens. He is definitely a horse alien. ]

Then you're lucky that Boneless Two is your first. He's a real laugh riot. He can tell you a joke about tomato salad that'll have you laughing for hours.

Video

[pain_train]

They pretty much party all the time. And they make each other happy, I guess?

[The intersection between honesty and being kind and generous is a hard one.]

Are the other kingdoms full of horses too? [Definitely aliens. Oh my god.]

That sounds like a good skill. Laughing is important.

Video

[preformthisneigh]

That sounds like my sorta crowd!

Nah, there are the Dragonlands, the Griffon Kingdom, that place waaaaay beyond our borders where the centaurs come from, Yakkistan. There's all kinds of lands with all kinds of creatures living in them. Except humans, I've never, ever seen any humans before I was taken to Paradisa.

It's the most important thing in the universe.

Re: Video

[pain_train]

Wow. So there's all kinds of aliens on your planet. Cool!

I think memory is a little more important. And being able to take a punch.

Video

[preformthisneigh]

Well...they're not aliens for us.

[He gives a dismissive snort. It sounds just like a horse snort. ]

Memories can fade, and a punch can be dodged. Laughter? That's something that lasts, and it's stronger than anything else. You can climb mountains with laughter.

Re: Video

[pain_train]

Huh, so I guess humans are kind of aliens to you.

People are so afraid of some memories that they try to destroy them.

[preformthisneigh]

Pretty much. When I saw my first one, I didn't have a clue what I was dealing with. All legs and fingers. It's weird.

[He almost questions it, but there are some choice memories he'd rather forget (like 80% of his foalhood) so the argument dies before he can say it. ]

...I guess. But that makes laughter all the more important, to get anypony through those dark times.

[pain_train]

Fingers are super useful, though. How else do you clean a gun?

[Priorities.]

Laughing is definitely important, you're right. I agree with that. [They're just quibbling over number one versus number two, really.]

[preformthisneigh]

Ponies don't use guns.

It definitely is. Without laughter...the world is a horrible, lonely place.

[He speaks from horrible, lonely experience. ]

[pain_train]

You also need them for cleaning swords. [Priorities!]

That's for sure.

[preformthisneigh]

You can use hooves for that, silly filly. [He puts his forehooves together and makes a rubbing motion. See, easy. ]

[pain_train]

Field stripping a DMR? [She had no idea hooves were so versatile. PEOPLE HAVE BEEN LYING TO HER ABOUT THE AWESOMENESS OF THUMBS ALL THIS TIME.]

[preformthisneigh]

[The lies have been real. He tilts his head, a little more than he probably should be able to without snapping his neck. ]

What's a DMR? Does it stand fooooor Dancing Magical Rainbow? Or Devilishly Menacing Raccoon? OH OH Or Debonair Mechanical Rhinoceros?

[pain_train]

Oh! A designated marksman rifle.

But mechanical rhinos would be fucking awesome too!

[preformthisneigh]

Oh, it's a gun. I think?

[He vaguely remembers talk of rifles and such on Paradisa's shooting range, but he never over concerned himself if them. They were resolutely a humanoid thing. ]

You kidding? It's be the BEST. You could make it so people could ride on it. Or joust!

[pain_train]

Yep! A really accurate one. [So not one she used often.]

If we made them in Proles, they'd fly!

[preformthisneigh]

Huh. Guess it works for you if you use that kind of thing.

Flying jousting is the best kind of jousting! You should see the Wonderbolts do it, it's super neat!

[pain_train]

I like swords better. That was always my thing. Plasma arc swords.

Oooh, is that your favorite team? That sounds so cool!

[preformthisneigh]

Someponies use swords if they're doing reinacting stuff. What's a plasmsa one like? It sounds squihy!

They're more...uh the areal defenders of Equestria. They protect the country from the air, but they put on flight shows and stuff to keep them sharp when we're not being attacked.