05 // Video

[justamobster]

Who: Ladon Ceto and alcohol and self-loathing you!
Broadcast: Fleetwide
Action: SS Tourist cockpit
When: Post bug plot.

[ Ladon's been a rare sight lately, mostly because he's either been keeping an eye on Lucky or afterward, keeping to himself. There aren't caves here, so his instinct to hide and try to sulk through the pain has instead been replaced with his more human-like means of coping. That is, he's been getting really drunk and hating the world with every fiber of his being. If there has been a sober moment since he found Lucky's office empty, he can't really recall.

Currently he's seated in the cockpit of the Tourist, and thankfully he's not attempting to do any piloting, because he's definitely not in any state to be doing so. There may not be concrete walls or cliffs in space, but he'd probably find a way to wreck the ship anyway.

Either way, the fact that this broadcast is video is likely the result of those drunken motor skills, because the angle is weird, and he's typically an audio-only user. He's also not dressed as well as usual, gone is the tie and the vest and the suit jacket. His hat is stubbornly glued to his head, but currently he's in an undershirt, suspenders, and the pants from his suit. He also hasn't shaved in a bit, and is looking particularly scruffy.

He rubs at his chin, eliciting a scratchy noise, and he taps his half-empty glass of bourbon against the arm rest. ]

Ain't usually the type t'go givin' unsolicited advice but. [ He sighs. ] Some of you folks know, I been in a place like this before. Space station, was there for 'round a year. Anyhow. These places... they put us through some real shit, yeah? Some real... heavy shit. People hurt and get sick and die and you gotta work together to fix it. You gotta fight together. You gotta take care of each other. S'the only way to stay sane.

[ He takes a drink of the bourbon, winces a bit as it burns its way down. ] What I'm sayin' is... S'hard not to go gettin' attached, yeah? People you meet from other worlds, they ain't so bad, you make friends. Maybe more, hell if I know. But I just gotta say... Don't make the same mistakes I went makin'. Don't get attached. Because it ends, yeah? One way or the other, you go or they go. Best you can hope is you go first, and you fuckin' forget.

Ain't gonna stop most of you, I know. Gotta learn the hard way. But hell if I ain't gonna try sayin' it anyhow. Because I wouldn't wish this on fuckin' anyone.

S'all.

[ And he cuts the feed. He can be found in the pilot chair still some time later, if anyone wants to deal with his drunken ass in person. ]

Comments

Action

[wolfuncaged]

[That...isn't a good sign. Fenris makes his way to the cockpit, not exactly sure what to say, nor what to do. He isn't good at interpersonal stuff, but something has clearly gone very wrong. ]

Please tell me that the ship is at least on autopilot. I'd rather we not crash into one of the others.

[That's kind of like a hello. He moves to sit at his security port nearby, frowning across at him. ]

I take it someone you know was sent away? Or is this a more general state of feeling sorry for yourself?

[ video ]

[cpt_ressentiment]

[ Yosuke's listening... and man, yeah, that stings. All of it. Because on some level, he agrees. He's just also come so far, and grown up so much, completely surrounded by similar conundrums that he has his own thoughts on the matter - at least, the beginnings of some.

He gets this guy is hurting - it's obvious. Who wouldn't be able to tell that? So he should probably just leave well enough alone. But at the same time... ]

Losing people sucks. Especially in places like this. I know. I was somewhere else before, too. But... isn't the time you spend with them while they're around better than spending time just being completely alone? Again, especially in places like this?

[ His voice is quiet, and he's not even looking directly at the camera. It's like he doesn't really expect a response right away, more like he's just thinking out loud where Ladon can clearly hear/see him. ]

[justamobster]

[ He shakes his head, and his lips tug up at one corner, hinting at a smile. It quickly disappears again. ] It is. Can barely keep this thing straight when I ain't pickled.

[ He knocks back more bourbon before answering. ] The one I went askin' 'bout before. Guessin' Atroma decided to put her in some kinda sleep 'fore they took her away. ... Hope she went home this time.

Video

[pain_train]

[They're sort of kind of friends, right? She knows his name so that counts! And thus, he obviously needs her sage advice.] Ladon, you're being a dumb boy. Stop it.

[Nailed it.]

[justamobster]

[ Ladon hasn't really clued in that his own device is still on video. He snorts a mirthless little noise, then shakes his head before nursing more of his drink. ] T'be honest, nothin' I want more than to forget all of it right now. Alone's miserable, but it's a different kind of miserable. Might be easier.

[tothefly]

[Have a redhead looking intently through the screen, head cocked slightly to one side.]

Heartbreak isn't being kind to you. You look like hell.

[Just a statement of fact, albeit not an unkind one. She just doesn't disagree with any part of what he's said, really.]

[justamobster]

[ That catches him so off-guard he actually nearly chokes on his bourbon. He manages to cough out a laugh after a moment, wipes his eyes on his sleeve. ]

You really... call 'em like you see 'em, don'tcha?

[justamobster]

[ He makes a gruff noise, picks up his device. After a moment, he sighs and looks upset with himself. ]

Didn't mean t'go puttin' it on video. Sorry you had t'see me like this, Red.

action

[dancingmd]

[Yeah, so Beverly's just going to invite herself on over to the Tourist after seeing this broadcast. Other than the message he sent her after Toby left, she hasn't heard anything from him, which has been worrying her greatly. Before, she was reluctant to say anything, wanting to give him some space, but now, she's reaching out.

Stopping just inside the doorway leading into the cockpit, she stands with crossed arms and a furrowed brow.]

... Ladon?

[pain_train]

Everyone always bullshits way too much, and it's stupid. If people just said what they thought, everything would make more sense, right?

I've lost a lot of people, Ladon. I was the CO of a mobile infantry platoon for over 20 years. [She vaguely recalls this. She hates that she can't remember more. That people just... disappeared.] Losing people always hurts.

But it's better than never having anyone to begin with.

[tothefly]

[She, by contrast, doesn't look at all offended. Not particularly worried, either. Everyone copes a different way. It's those who don't cope at all, or don't let it show, that you have to watch for.]

Don't need to apologize to me. It's nothing I haven't seen before.

I'd offer you a drink, but it already looks like you've found one. Or five. That bad?

[justamobster]

[ He looks up, but doesn't turn around just yet. He adjusts his hat a little, as if that'll help him save face. But after a moment he just hunches in the chair and rubs at the bridge of his nose. His voice sounds hoarse, likely from all the alcohol he's been imbibing. ]

Heya, doc.

[justamobster]

[ He shakes his head. She may be used to drunk, unshaven slobs, but he still feels bad for being one of them. ]

Ain't my finest hour. Think I'd be better at takin' my lumps by now. [ He looks down at his glass, now close to empty. ] Lost count, but don't matter. Ain't helpin'.

[justamobster]

Lost a lot myself. But this's different. At least you know they ain't comin' back. [ Death is still a tragedy. And he still misses the friends and family he's lost. But this is the kind of wound that never heals. ] This's the second time I've lost her. Not sure I could handle three or four.

Right now, don't want nothin' more than t'never have met her at all. That don't sound real kind of me, I know, but it's true. No bullshittin'.

[pain_train]

Well, you know they aren't coming back if you take off their head.

[That's how it works, right?]

You can handle it, though. You're a kind and generous and strong person. And it hurts, but life hurts.

And you're right. Not knowing sucks. But you shouldn't wish away pieces of your life, because they're what make you into you.

Action

[innercactus]

[ Asteffiel... doesn't know how to cheer people up, really. He knows what cheers him up, but... That doesn't always work for everyone else!

... But he tries it anyway.

Tourist's resident plant inches sneakily into the room, holding a little pot of flowers.

Which he will inch right into the console in front of Landing. ]

Video

[birdsbirdsbirds]

...Hi Ladon.

[despite whatever he may think about this, he is smirking.]

You wanna talk about anything? I promise I'm a real good listener. We can go have a smoke out on top of the Bloodsport to mix up whatever one-man-booze-party you've got going on.

[dancingmd]

[Oh you sweet heartbroken idiot.]

Hello.

[She crosses the room and leans against the flight console so that he has to face her. Her arms are still crossed, but her gaze is full of empathy.]

You're not giving up, are you?

[justamobster]

Can't argue with that.

[ He shakes his head at her words. They're kind, but he's not in any place to hear them right now. ] No offense, but you barely know me, yeah? Those words ain't any of the ones I'd use. I'm an asshole and a coward. I know it. All this's makin' me into is a drunken mess. Rather go back to where I was before.

[justamobster]

[ He continues to rub at the bridge of his nose a bit, before dragging his hand down his face and propping his chin in his palm. He's not the type to cry, but he's hit the point of being dried up from the sadness. His heart's broken of course, but so is the rest of him. It's the numbness that's nagging at him now. He feels empty.

So he just huffs a sigh. ] I dunno. Feel like a real heel, tellin' you not to go givin' up, and here I am... Guess it don't take much to pull the rug out from under me.

[pain_train]

Of course they're not the ones you'd use. People never see themselves clearly.

You are kind of being a drunken mess right now. But that's okay, drunken mess is a valid stage of dealing with life being shit.

After I got mustered out of the army I got banned from nine bars in one night for starting fights and then threw up on the guy who was the only boyfriend I've ever had after I got thrown through a window.

So basically it's okay to be a fucking mess about things as long as you're not so dumb you forget you have friends or try to talk yourself out of having them. Okay? So none of that.

[justamobster]

[ It takes him a while to notice the plant, but when he does, he picks the pot up and stares at it, numbly.

Purple, huh.

He's not sure if the dryad is still about, but he does say a "thanks" out loud, in case he is. ]

[justamobster]

[ Thankfully Ladon's not a fighty drunk. Otherwise he'd probably get himself kicked out of bars too. He's more likely to be the one throwing violent people out, after all. He only gets really drunk when he's alone and feeling sorry for himself.

Regardless, he kind of wants to know the story behind what sounds like one hell of a night. ]

Never threw up on her, so there's that. Did... let the whole damn station think I'd gotten, er, "close" with a friend of ours, though. [ 35 years old and he still can't mention sex that didn't even happen. ] Got her real mad. Sure she'd never wanna be 'round me again after that. Dunno what she was thinkin'.

Guess I ain't ever gonna know, now.

[ He's still a sulky and upset mess, but at least he's opening up a little. ]

[justamobster]

Heya, Robin.

[ By now he's figured out he has the video on, but he just doesn't care. He rubs at his eyes with one hand, making a grumbly noise that might sound a little familiar. ]

Dunno. Ain't much fun when I'm this zotzed. All the bullshit rises to the surface. Not someone you'd prob'ly wanna be 'round.

[dancingmd]

Believe me, I know that feeling all too well. And sometimes... well sometimes we're not very good at heeding our own advice, are we? But I'm not going to let you give up. I can be more than stubborn enough for the two of us.