driftfleet | (no subject)

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(no subject)

Who: Cole
Broadcast: No
Action: EVERY SHIP EXCEPT THE MARSIVA
When: The first half of the month

[See, the problem is, now Cole's augment is a pilot one.

He's lost the room he wasn't aware as his, but he's gained a whole new lot of knowledge. Such as how to move the ship, how to dock it to other ships and that makes his constant wandering from ship to ship much easier.

And it means he can park the Pathstone with the Three Twins and Tourist without ever going on board either of them. He can bring the Pathstone to them, and still give Fenris his safe space and people form those ships and visit the Pathstone without having to take a shuttle!

So, Cole's doing his rounds again. Visiting. Parking. Shoving the Pathstone wherever he feels like going.]

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[Cole doesn't get uncomfortable with silences. He waits.]

Is that good?

Yes.

[ He's radiating a soft warmth: contentment. ]

I seem t'have forgotten my manners. You want something to eat?

[And again, Cole is quiet, enjoying the feelings.]

No. I don't eat. Even since becoming more human. Cadash said that never starving was part of Cole's wishes he impressed on me.

You can eat.

It'd be a shame for me to eat and for you to watch... [ he shrugs, instead ] do you want a tour of the ship? I don't know how different it might be from yours.

I don't mind not eating.

If you'd like to show me.

[ Except it feels wrong, to have someone who's known starvation to just -- ah well. He waves Cole over to the offices with the nameplates, the bridge, and the kitchen. ]

Does it look like your ship, or are the rooms different?

[This Cole feels no hunger or thirst. Make of that what you will.

He takes it in and actually... no, they're not that alike.]

Pathstone is different. She has more rooms. A lot more rooms. We have individual rooms for the beds, and there's some rooms with desks, but one of those went and then another...

I don't know why. We have a garden. In Jove's room. Away from Tekhetsio.

[ He gives Cole a soft, searching look. ]

You know Jove?

[ He's only just met her and spent time clearing the bug ship, but he likes her. there's an earthy quality to her, sensible and warm. ]

Yes. She knew me back in Thedas, but my Inquisitor was different. I like Jove just as much. They're different, but both kind.

She doesn't mind that sometimes my head goes back to the dark places and I can't read anything but the past and be frightened. She just holds me and talks to me until it stops consuming my mind.

And we're both on the Pathstone. She heals the Pathstone. Repairs her.

Yeah, she and I have the same augment.

[ Healing the ship is a curious turn of phrase for it, he puts that down to Cole having been a spirit Before. ]

What does your Inquisitor do?

I have Pilot Augment. I had Personnel Augment before, but now I have Pilot Augment and Pathstone has controls for me. I like driving Pathstone, I can visit other ships easier.

[Cole's odd. Just accepting it is by far easiest.]

Help people. Lots of people.

And sometimes break people's jaws with her shield, by slamming it up. She's a dwarf.

A shield's useful like that, huh.

[ So the augments can change. he files that away for later and smiles at Cole. ]

You're free to come here anytime. [ playfully, ] I'm the captain, what I say goes.

I suppose. I find them too heavy. I like my knives.

Thank you! I will. It was nice talking to you. Most people... don't want to know details about Cole's life and death. They ask, but when they start to hear, they don't want to know. Not really. It hurts and scares and aches but...

You know horrible things. Like I do. It aches, but not in the gut, not nauseous with anxiety, just quiet, accepting aching.

It's polite t'ask, but most folks [ he shakes his head ] they like things clear-cut. Proper stories, with endings they can live with. Senseless death ain't one.

[ He's pensively quiet, for a moment. ]

Sometimes all you need is somebody who'll listen and remember. It's not much, but it can be worth the whole world.

There is no moral to the story of Cole's life and death. No meaning. It was. That must be enough.

[He rocks on his feet, back and forth and thinking.]

You saw war. What people do. To women and children, to people who are helpless. I'm not... confirming anything you didn't know about people. What they do. We know people can be awful and selfish.

And we know some people shine so bright, that they make all that okay.

It was. Unfair, but [ he shrugs ] we can't raise the dead or fix all the cruelty in the world.

[ He comes to a stop, and his fingers curl over his chest, where his heart is. Locked away, safely, is Steve. He's barely even told Sam about what he was like. Seventy years of image management have turned Captain America into something completely unrecognisable. Nothing better than a dancing monkey. Steve would hate that. ]

Yes, some people still shine despite that. He did.

[ A long silence, then, quietly, ]

It's my last chance to keep him safe.

[Cole's eyes close and then open again, almost paler and brighter, his voice a soft whisper as he speaks.]

He never did it for a country. He did it for people, because it was right. He never wanted to hurt anyone, but sometimes, hurting people is the only way of stopping them from being monsters to others. It was war, it was dirty and muddy and dark but it didn't manage to steal his shine. It didn't dim his kindness.

His shine made you all braver, better people.

Rhys did that for me. He made me be a better person, even when I wasn't a person at all. He protected me, when everyone else said I had to be put down.

He went away as well, but I don't think he wanted to either.

[ He closes his eyes, as he listens to Cole's voice wash over him. Someone here, far away from everything Bucky knows as home, knows Steve without even having met him. Every time he thinks he's put the grief safely away where it can't tear him apart again, it does. It yawns: blue as the Arctic, and the water rushes over him, filling his mouth and lungs. He thought once, at least I'm following you. And now, it's only ever been, I hate you for going first. ]

It didn't make him less stupid, you know.

[ He's hoarse, like he's just been shouting, but he's smiling, though cracked. ]

[That's the nature of grief. Like a tide, it needs to surge and push in order to be laid to rest for a while, only to return, slowly ebbing down.]

Reckless. He was the centre of your world, but in his world, he was always reaching up for something he felt he lacked. The ones who shine bright always have the urge to climb on. They don't realise that it lets them shine on the rest of us when they do.

[Cole moves slowly, to let Bucky stop him, but he reaches out one long, thin hand to Bucky's jaw in a gentle gesture of something like benediction.]

You were that important to Stevie too. You still are, just Stevie's a bit lost. He's still finding his way back, but this time, your light will help him.

[ Something like benediction. He feels small again, an altar boy, a simpler time when he could say God loved them, until he saw one too many burnt out churches and decided God wasn't listening anymore. There's still a power in confession, and perhaps it's dramatic to say the Catholic in him has deep roots. He might not see God so easily anymore, but this is too much like prayer. ]

You think so?

[ He doesn't believe it. Steve took all the light with him when he fell. ]

No. I know. I know things. I can't... make connections like people. I just know.

You can guide him back. It'll be difficult and he'll fight you, because opening that spot inside of him is a huge risk. But you can help him back into the light and when he's there, he'll remember how to shine.

Know and name.

[ Because some things, they're known without ever being spoken, and while that's strong, sometimes they need names. ]

We'll see.

Sometimes.

I know Bucky and Stevie are still there, waiting, safe.

Somewhere it's not cold.

[ He feels old, and tired. ]

C'mon, let's go eat.

All right.

[He doesn't mention that he doesn't eat. He can eat a bit. To make James comfortable with eating.]

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