driftfleet | Broadcast 02

Who: Natasha Romanoff and you, flooters
Broadcast: Fleetwide, voice only
Action: Possibly, in comments. On the SS Windrose in Natasha's office most likely.
When: End of the second week of August.

[Some of you might recognize that cool, measured voice coming from your comm. Others might just hear a competent woman with a tone light enough to seem careless, at first, until the words sink in and you find the steel underneath them.]

Funny how some of us just seemed to go a little out of character these last couple weeks. I'd expected some complications from the implant, but personality changes? Seems like an easy way to rig the ratings. Cheap, if you want my opinion, but they don't really ask around here.

I'm Natasha, ship's counselor over on the Windrose. I'll be in my office most of the day over the course of the next week. If you'd like to make an appointment, let me know. I'd be happy to talk with each of you, regardless of your ship affiliation. And, of course, anything that passes between us is completely confidential.

You have my word, for what it's worth to you.

[[ooc: If you'd like your character to take part in Nat's little psychological profiling experiment, please fill out the profile post here!]]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Earlier you weren't ready to. Now, you don't necessarily look ready to talk about what's bothering you, but you at least seem to be considering it.

[She doesn't have to force cheerfulness around Natasha. Better than most, she knows what it means to put up a front, and how much of a toll that can take on a person. Being something they aren't, even in minor ways like pretending you aren't stressed, unsettled, anxious. Beverly doesn't really know that yet, and doesn't know her, and so Natasha just waits. Lets her take her time.]

Take your time. We don't have to talk, if you aren't feeling up to sharing.

It's not so much that I'm not ready to talk, and more that I don't know exactly how to begin...

[A long pause and then, finally:]

I don't know if you met Dr. Bashir while he was here. He... he had a hard time reaching out to people, so I don't know. He spent most of his time with me in the clinic. Anyway, he was - is - another Starfleet officer. Only he's from a couple of years in my future.

[She takes a deep breath.]

And apparently, there's going to be a war. Atroma pulled Julian straight from an internment camp where he was being held as a prisoner of war, and brought him here. I did what I could for him, but I always knew in the back of my mind that he would be going back... I guess I just selfishly hoped I would go home before he did. And now... now he's gone, and there's nothing I can do about it.

Edited 2015-08-18 22:55 (UTC)

[Natasha hadn't met the other doctor, but that doesn't mean she can't listen anyway--eyes intent on Bev, she lets the other woman tell her story, and by the time she's done Natasha understands. Probably understands better than most people would.]

What would you have wanted to do? If you could?

Ideally? I would want to stop the war, completely. But... I know that is not very realistic. So many things have already been set in motion, things I have no control over, even if I do go home with the memory of everything Julian told me intact. Perhaps I could do something for him personally, and I intend to try should I return and remember. Until then... if I could just know what will, what is, happening to him...

Uncertainty is hard to deal with, especially if you're given just enough fact to let your mind fill in the gaps. You're worried for him. That's completely natural.

Did you know one another, before you both got here?

No... we knew of one another, as my ship would sometimes dock at his station, but we never worked directly together. Until here, until the Iskaulit.

[A pause while she collects her next thought.]

It's like he came at exactly the right time... I really needed him through all of that.

And now he's gone.

You don't have anyone else here from home, do you?

[And now he's gone and he's being tortured and so is Worf and who knows who else and... breathe, Beverly.]

No, I don't. But it's not as if I'm the only one in that position here.

No. But it does make it more difficult. You only have two perspectives here: yours and his. You know that a few years in your future, there's a war, and awful things will happen. Awful things always happen in a war. You know that Julian has left the fleet, presumably to go back to this war, and that you're stuck here. What you don't know is considerably more than that. You don't know what's going to happen to him, and for what it's worth, while it's easy to think about the bad that could happen, bad isn't the only option. He could be rescued from the camp. Could turn out that you go home too, and remember this place, and do something to stop it all from happening in the first place. There's a lot of maybes and coulds to think about, Beverly, and it's natural to think about them. But that's what's bothering you, isn't it?

[She snorts, humorlessly.]

Ironic, isn't it? An explorer who doesn't like uncertainties.

[But she is giving Natasha's words some thought.]

Edited 2015-08-27 03:57 (UTC)

It seems apt enough to me. Explorers go exploring because they want to know what's out there. Put it on a map, in a book, take a picture. You explore because you want to quantify. Uncertainty seems like the last thing you'd like.

[She shrugs.]

But then, psychology is a fuzzy science. Maybe I'm just projecting. What do you think?

[She leans forward, her head tilted as she considers this.]

I suppose there is something to that. But don't we also have to be able to embrace uncertainty, in order to make those maps and books and images in the first place?

[Natasha mirrors Beverly's stance, elbows on her knees and fingers brushing her chin.]

Never said the human mind wasn't a paradox. Fuzzy science is about the best we can do.

[It's not quite a joke, but it is sympathetic.]

The way I see it, you don't have to decide to be one or the other. The mind isn't made up of absolutes. You're allowed to hope for the best and to worry about the worst. The only disservice you could do Julian at this point is forgetting about him, and I don't think you'd do that.

I won't, not if I can help it.

[But who knows, in this place?]

That's why I'm here to take notes, right? In case they decide we aren't being interesting enough without them digging around inside our heads to see what they can find.

If you want to keep your own set of notes, I've got a spare notebook or two. Not the best quality, but maybe having something to put your thoughts into that isn't digital and tied to this place would be good for you.

Hmm... maybe... I have been keeping a log, more out of habit than anything else, but it's on my tricorder and it's not particularly... personal.

Allen did suggest writing letters to home, as a way he deals with being separated from his loved ones...

So maybe something a little more personal might be a good place to start. Letters aren't a bad idea. You've got family back home, a crew? Might make it a little easier to deal with being gone if you share some part of this with them.

It won't hurt to try at least.

[She leans back in her chair with a sigh.]

I just haven't been able to bring myself to do it yet.

Broadcast 02

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject