driftfleet | one ➵ video / spam

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Who: Abigail Hobbs and u
Broadcast: Fleetwide
Action: Starstruck
When: 9/23, eveningish

[All things considered, this is actually a pretty good witness protection program. How are the police going to find her in space? And she didn't even have to die this time. It's probably the best kidnapping she's ever experienced.]

[Admittedly, she did spend some time wondering if this was the same thing again, if, somehow, doing what needed done had sent her back to the Barge, qualified her as an inmate again. But those were very fleeting concerns - first, because she knows what she did was just, and second, because this is nothing like the Barge, which looks disorganized on the surface but pulls together in crisis. The Fleet looks quite organized, with its shiny ships and perfect synchronization, but she has a suspicion that when shit hits the fan, everything falls apart.]

[That remains to be seen. The point is that she's learned from the last two times; she neither presents a face immediately nor gives herself away immediately, choosing instead to spend her time on the Marsiva and her first few days on the Starstruck settling in, going over the comms, gathering what information can be gathered. Only then does she step out into common spaces.]

[She pays particular attention to the cargo hold, where she deliberately and conspicuously practices some of the flashier moves Harvey taught her - although flash does not preclude precision, because she is very good at what she does. She also spends a lot of time in the kitchen, hanging out but also inspecting; she doesn't like the processed nature of the food provided, and she spends some time looking for an ingredients label before giving up.]

[When she eventually sets up a broadcast, it's in the kitchen, as well, futuristic cabinets lined up behind her head as she seems to focus somewhere slightly off-camera. For the record: the giant scar on her neck is totally visible, as is the fact that she only has one ear.]

It's sort of funny to me that when people come to a place like this, they either introduce themselves with a lot of questions or a lot of yelling. If anybody wants to answer my questions, that would be pretty hospitable of you, but I got tired of answering them after a while, so. It's not compulsory.

If anybody would rather perform an exchange, I can do that, too. Quid pro quo. My name is Abigail Hobbs. I come from Earth - Bloomington, Minnesota, originally, which I bet none of you have ever heard of - and I spent a couple of years in a place sort of like this, only not at all. My hobbies are hunting, fishing, cooking, and reading poetry. Once I wanted to be a psychiatrist.

The rest of it, you have to earn.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[She's determined already that Elena doesn't remember her. All it took was one look, one time. There was no recognition there, not even a little bit. And that's - sad, but not unexpected. The multiverse is a huge place; it's incredibly unlikely that they would find each other after all of this time and space.]

[Still, she cuts off the feed when Elena steps into the kitchen and gives her a smile, careful not to make it overly fond.]

Sorry. Am I in your way?

[Elena shakes her head a little.]

Oh, no, sorry. I just didn't want to interrupt, [she nods to the communicator in Abigail's hands.] I take it you're a new crew member?

You're not interrupting. I can talk to them anytime.

[Technically she can talk to Elena anytime, too. But that's not the point.]

I just got here, yeah. My name's Abigail. Abigail Hobbs. And you're Elena Gilbert.

[. . . skating the edge of creepy there, Abigail, but you do you.]

[Elena looks taken aback by that. People who know Elena like that off the bat and she doesn't know them? It's never a good sign. She looks immediately wary.]

How do you know that? [she asks slowly.]

[Yeah, it really isn't ever a good sign. Which, backwards-ly, is a big part of why Abigail just says it like that. Better not to dance around a shitty subject, at least not with someone she actually values.]

[She sighs and pushes her hair behind her ear - the one that's still there, anyway - and gestures at the other seat.]

I know that because I used to know you. Or . . . probably not you, since you clearly don't remember me, but some version of you. Can you sit down? I promise I'm not going to do anything weird, or even move closer unless you want me to.

No, I'm good.

[It's not said out of defensiveness. Elena's not naive enough to think she doesn't have anything to worry about. She doesn't know what Abigail is or what she's capable of, but Elena's confident enough that she can definitely do her best to keep herself safe.]

[She just doesn't want to sit down because sitting down would be a sign she's not ready to hear whatever is about to come out of Abigail's mouth or that she can't handle it. After the past couple of months, Elena feels ready to handle anything.]

How do you know me?

[Another sigh. Well, that's her choice, isn't it - that's the whole point of all of this, this should be Elena's choice. She nods just once, then purses her lips, trying to decide where to start.]

We - her and I, not you and I, I know there's a difference - met on a prison ship called the Barge. We were both inmates, people who were there to be reformed, and we arrived at around the same time. She was interested in me, and I was vulnerable, so we arranged a deal of protection. I'd feed her and she'd make sure nobody hurt me, or if they did, that they got what was coming to them.

It sounds - really pragmatic and essentialist when I put it like that, but she was really important to me. Her humanity was off, and I saw that as something powerful, you know? I wasn't used to having any power at all, so even something that compromised your identity like that - it made me happy, it gave me hope. I really cared about her a lot.

Anyway. She turned her humanity back on after a while, and then she graduated, and then a long while after that, I did too. [A pause, minute.] We dated for a lot of that time, and then when I graduated we broke up, because she wanted to go back home eventually and I wanted to go back home, too, so. It wouldn't have worked.

[She glances at the surface of the table, where her fingers have wound their way together, her only sign of open insecurity.]

I think it's better that you know, rather than me trying to hide it from you. Everything she ever told me made it seem like she was sick of people bullshitting her. So I hope . . . in that one way, that you and her are the same, and that I made the right choice just now.

[Elena can feel her stomach twisting itself up into knots as Abigail tells her story. She has to fold her arms around herself a little to keep herself steady and able to focus on what Abigail is saying rather than trying to already think of the implications.]

[It's not the part that they dated that bothers Elena the most, it's the beginning. Elena was without her humanity. She swallows thickly because how could anyone ever want to be near that? That time without her humanity is something that still creeps into Elena's dreams every now and again, guilt causing her to wake up sick and unsure if she even wants to get out of bed. Or better yet, if she can get out of bed and face the people who saw her at her worst. But at least they had the frame of reference of who Elena has always been. Abigail didn't, apparently.]

You did... It was the right thing, [Elena says slowly, after a few beats of silence.]

[She is so very used to people lying to her, hiding the truth because they're concerned she won't be able to handle it. They seem to think it will stay hidden forever and don't consider how much more it will hurt her when it does become known.] I'm sorry I don't know you.

[Which might seem like Elena is simply saying the thing you are supposed to say after someone reveals all that, but she means it genuinely. Elena's spent too many weeks now on the other side of that, being half-remembered, to not know how much it has to hurt and outright suck not being remembered at all.]

[And Abigail seems like a person worth remembering. Their (her?) relationship aside, she's already proven herself to be honest and someone who can see Elena beneath everything else. She takes a few measured steps over to the table before she slowly sits down.]

[It was the right thing, she says, and Abigail can't help but smile at that, because - she was pretty sure, but not completely, and it would hurt a lot to hurt Elena even if she didn't mean to. She allows relief to show on her face, leans forward with her arms folded on the table, too, like some of the strength's gone out of her back, and it sort of feels like it has.]

You don't have to be sorry. I mean, it does kind of suck, but I expected it. Places like this love to mess with your memory. That's another reason why I thought it was best to just tell you now. It's hard enough having different memories without lying about it.

Anyway - maybe this is weird, and like I said, I know you're not her. But I never thought I'd get to see her again at all, so it's. Nice, knowing you're sort of okay somewhere.

[She tucks her hair behind her good ear, quirks her lips in an awkward grin.]

Do you - want to talk about something else? I know this is kind of a lot.

[Elena isn't sure. It is a lot. It's only natural that she wants to pull away from it and talk about something else. But should they? It's hard to tell if that's the right choice or not for either of them.]

You know what I am, [she says slowly.] Not many people here do. I just...I want you to know that.

[She trusts Abigail won't tell anyone that she's a vampire. If she ever really did love Elena, she'd keep that secret. But she can bet money that the Elena she knew wasn't as careful about who knew she was a vampire and who didn't. Being without one's humanity often led to poor decisions like that.]

[Her response is immediate: a sharp nod, a look of perfect comprehension, and a pantomime of zipping her lips and throwing away the key.]

No one's going to learn it from me. I don't want to put you in any stupid unnecessary danger. Even back where we were before, where there were safeguards in place and you were supposed to be protected - people still got aggressive about it. I'm not interested in starting that again.

Well, if I had my humanity off, they probably had a good reason to be freaked out, [she says, feeling the creeping feelings of shame and guilt starting to arise within her. But.] Thank you.

[For keeping it secret.]

That's... I can't even begin to tell you how much of a relief that is.

Not a good excuse.

[But she says it mildly. It's hard to explain the Barge even when you're on the Barge, much less someplace like this. So. Maybe not the time to get into it.]

It seems like common decency and respect to me. It's your thing to tell, not mine.

[She smiles a little.]

I think you know not everyone thinks people like me deserve common decency and respect. [She glances down at the table, uncertain if what she's about to say next will come across wrong or not. She can only hope.] I know you've got history with me, but I don't know anything about you. So it means a lot.

Okay. I can accept that.

[Nothing weird about it, in her opinion. Remember: veteran weird jamjar traveller. She's got this.]

But even if you don't have history with me, I want you to understand one thing. Or even just listen, if you don't believe me outright - the fact that people don't think you deserve respect just makes it a hundred times more important that I do. I know this place sucks, but nobody has the right to make it suck more for you by taking your choices away.

[Elena draws a breath to speak, but doesn't say anything immediately because she's not sure what exactly it is she wants to say. On the one hand, she feels like maybe she should discourage this because Abigail speaks with such conviction. That can't be good for either of them when Elena can't remember, can it? It seems hard to imagine how it would be good, anyway. Elena licks her lips. But she also feels incredibly grateful to have someone like that on her side, willing to keep her secret and protect her if it's necessary. It's not something you'd expect to have from a stranger. Or a stranger from her perspective anyway.]

It's not that bad, [she says, lamely.] I mean, the whole hiding what I am thing is kinda sucks and being stuck here really sucks, but the people here are aren't bad people. That goes a long way.

[She runs her hand through her hair before leaning forward to rest her elbows on the table, holding each side of her neck with a hand.]

Okay, this is going to seem like possibly a really weird question, but you don't know anyone else from where I'm from, do you?

[It's not even protective, not really. Not exactly even personal. It's just an honest opinion. This is what she's learned: that except in the most severe of cases, the worst crime that a person can commit on another person, human or not, is to take their choices away from them. When people can't make choices, mistakes and good decisions alike, they get desperate. And desperate people get dangerous.]

[She gives a small, crooked smile at the way Elena tries to make things seem better. It's not good enough. She doesn't really believe in the basic goodness of people, for one. For another, a shitty place can't be completely offset by good company. But if it makes Elena feel better to say that, then she'll let it slide.]

[The question's more important to address, anyway. Abigail shakes her head.]

Not really. There was somebody on the Barge from where you're from, a guy named Damon, but I never really dealt with him one-on-one because . . . you'd basically told me not to, and I wasn't interested in playing with that particular kind of fire.

[Elena makes a face at the mention of Damon.]

Good. I mean the part about avoiding Damon. He was a complete sociopath and dangerous.

[This is said with absolute certainty, the implication being that there is nothing whatsoever worth redeeming about Damon Salvatore. Not a tone that Elena takes often about anyone, but Damon's not just anyone. He's sick and if he weren't Stefan's brother? She wouldn't have cared all that much he died.]

I'm pretty sure if he knew about you having any connection to me, he would have made you a target and tried to somehow prove he loved me more. He's not here, [thank God] but his brother, Stefan, is. Did I ever talk about him?

[She finds it hard to imagine she didn't if Damon came up, but it's better to know how much Abigail knows rather than to just assume.]

Yeah, no kidding.

[She makes a face right back.]

You didn't really have anything nice to say about him back then, either. And I've had enough of sociopaths to last a million lifetimes.

[As for Stefan . . . if anything, the face just gets facier.]

You did. I wasn't impressed. Honestly, you kind of - when your humanity was turned off, there wasn't a lot of difference in how you talked about them. I think maybe you - she had more compassion for Stefan. But they sounded about equally dangerous.

He can be. Not always, but...

[Elena sighs a little at the number of memories that are always stirred up whenever it comes to Stefan's bad side. When he's at his best, Stefan is really good. But when he's at his worst? He's just as bad as his brother. She hates to think that, but she knows it's true, and she can't ever afford to lose that perspective.]

He's here though. In the Fleet. He um... [How to put this...] He doesn't exactly everything though. It's not a case of he hasn't lived it yet, but... Well, it's like how I don't remember you. He...He's been through some...stuff. And he didn't know he was Stefan Salvatore for a while. I think he's been going by the name he had wherever it was he was exactly. Stefan Alesci.

Anyway, part of what he doesn't remember is those bad parts. He knows he's a vampire, but he doesn't know how bad it is for him. I haven't told him yet, but I... [Elena looks away with a small puff of forced, exasperated laughter. Why is this so much easier to tell other people? Caesar was a little bit of a challenge, but he was the best person she could have told first. He'd know what to do and do what she wanted to help Stefan. Abigail? She's got pieces of the story anyway. So she needs to know the parts about the Stefan that's here right now.] I just haven't really found a way to tell him yet. I don't want to lie to him, but I don't want him to have to carry that around when he doesn't even remember it.

. . . I understand.

[She doesn't like it, very visibly doesn't like it, but she won't say as much unless Elena asks her to.]

You care about him and you want to treat him fairly. I don't think I trust people as easily as you do, or did, and I don't think I ever have, so it might not be what I'd do, but you know the situation best, so. If that's what you think is right, then that's what's right.

[Because if she had to pick one person to trust in this world or any other - well. It wouldn't even be a contest.]

[It means a lot to be trusted like that. Caesar trusted Elena's judgment on how to handle the situation if things should happen and Abigail's trusting Elena to find the right way and time to tell Stefan the less-than-desirable truth about himself. But it also feels a little odd coming from Abigail. With Caesar, she had at least managed to connect with him for herself. There were similarities between the two of them that allowed for them to bond and quickly understand one another. But with Abigail, it feels a little unearned.]

I want to tell him and he needs to know, but it's just a really big bombshell to drop on someone. I need to be sure he can handle it and he's not going to let it change him too much.

You think he'd let it change him?

[To her, that sounds weak. That someone would just let something someone else says about them change who they see themselves to be . . . that sounds weak as hell. But that's something else she isn't going to say. It's no secret, at least to her, that she hates Stefan and Damon in equal measure. She isn't going to let that seep into the way she speaks about them, though - for Elena's sake.]

[Elena shakes her head a little.]

I don't know for sure, but the more he remembers the less Alesci he is, and the more Salvatore he is. Saying something about it could trigger him to remember. I mean just...being around me is enough to start triggering memories for him sometimes.

[Which inspires a lot of uncomfortable and nervous feelings in Elena because she doesn't want to have that responsibility while wanting to help him all the same. And even then, who is to say remembering is helping?]

Right. That makes sense, then.

[And is super terrifying and dangerous in a lot of ways, wow. Who designed this memory loss bullshit? Fuck them entirely.]

[She looks at Elena quietly for a moment, then folds her hands in front of her on the table, to resist the urge to reach out for her.]

That sounds really - really unfair to you, honestly. And hard. I'm sorry that that's happening, because it sucks.

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