video ♪ sometimes i have good ideas

[merchantprince]

Who: Varric and whoever
Broadcast: Yes
Action: If you're on the Iskaulit, sure!
When: A reasonable time of day

[video;]

[The camera angle isn't great, but what else do you expect from a dwarf? It appears to be a decently-sized room on the bug ship. It's filled with crates, most of which are empty and taking the place of tables and chairs. There is, however, a very dusty and... possibly stolen bar, which needs some touch ups. There are a couple of glasses set on the counter, which has five empty boxes, two barstools and a rusty chair for seating. Along the sides remain a couple noticeable places where it was hacked into manageable pieces and... nailed back together. Oh, Varric.

After that view, he addresses the network from one of the only actual chairs in this dump. Varric's coat hangs on the back, and he's wearing some sleek, anachronistic sunglasses.]

I heard there was demand for a bar. There just so happens to be someone on the Fleet who has a lifelong dream of owning a shitty little dive. [A pause.] That's me. It's me, people.

Now, I know what you're thinking. 'Varric, you're a damned genius.' Right?

[Something falls off the wall.]

... All right, so it's a work in progress. I'm having furniture custom-made, it should be ready in a week-ish.

[He clears his throat.]

Here's the problem: I don't have any desire to serve people or the... customer service skills required. That means I'm looking for people to help me run this thing. I'm asking for the barest minimum of business and social skills as well as enough presence to throw out troublemakers. And yes, I'll pay you in credits and beer.

I also need stuff to serve. Not everyone likes whiskey brewed in some guy's bathtub and I haven't been back long enough to amass a variety of booze. If you have anything you're willing to part with, I'll not only pay you for it, but I'll give you a VIP discount. For life.

So. Who wants to make dreams come true?

Comments

Video

[innercactus]

There's.. that apple cider, that makes you drunk. Does that need eating apples to make or can you make it with any sort of apple.

[ Asteffiel turns his video on to a small tree - its only about three feet tall - with small apples on it. ]

Because these apples don't taste good at all, but I don't want to just.. uproot the tree....

[merchantprince]

[Sup, Plant Man.]

I think it's made with a bunch of different ones. To ferment stuff, you need sugar. So sugary apples are used, but no one wants to drink straight sugar alcohol, so you add other kinds to give it actual taste.

What do they taste like? Are they bitter or what?

[innercactus]

Bitter and sour. [ Asteffiel makes a face like he bit an unripe lemon. ]

... Still taste a little like apple, but I don't know if they're good for cooking or anything.... because I'm really bad at that.

[merchantprince]

Don't throw out that tree just yet. I'm pretty sure apples like that are used to give hard cider some bite. If nothing else, we could add it to other drinks to give it kick.

[innercactus]

Okay! [ Do you see how he perked up, Varric. He grew this little tree, he doesn't have to murder his little plant friend- ]

Do you want me to keep it with the rest of my plants, or would you like to keep it?

[merchantprince]

Oh hell no. Don't give it to me, I'll kill it. I can't even take care of a pet rock, let alone something actually alive.

[He's happy but NO PLANT BOY NO.]

[innercactus]

Ohh.. okay. I could try to teach you, if you want? [ He won't push it though. Nothing but cacti for this guy, if he feels like he should give him something growing. ]

I can give you the ripe ones now, if you want?

[merchantprince]

If I'm being honest, I don't have the first idea of how to make beer. That sounds like work. But... There's a couple of guys who are working on distilling stuff. I think one of them is named Eugene.

I'll tell him you've got the start of supplies for cider. I'm sure he'll go nuts.

[innercactus]

.... I don't know either. [ Someone named Eugene? Okay. ]

Ohh. Okay! [ He's about to comment on the nuts, but remembers that that's a phrase, not that someone has... nuts for him to grow things out of. ]

[merchantprince]

[... This kid.]

We'll figure it out. Hopefully without killing anyone by accident.