driftfleet | 002; i'm pulling my questions from my shelf

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002; i'm pulling my questions from my shelf

Who: Souji Seta and ... you???
Broadcast: Network; open
Action: Marsiva; kitchen; open
When: The evening of the 12th.

[Souji turns on the camera, gives it an absent glance, then sets it off to the side before returning his attention to the simmering pot on the stove in front of him.]

Seta here ... I have a question. I'm wondering, is it possible - assuming we eventually return to our assigned ships - to transfer to a different one?

[He taps the stirring spoon on the edge of the pot, then replaces the lid and turns the heat down to just below simmer.]

Also, there's a new pot of stew in the kitchen. Please come by if you're hungry.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Not very long. A couple of months, I think.

[He shrugs. After time spent in the various Liminal Spaces, where time didn't necessarily move in a linear fashion, keeping track of time doesn't seem as important as it used to be. There's no balance of school and social activities to manage here, no jobs for him to perform other than cooking.]

What about you?

A little over two weeks. They've been instructive.

[ A very polite way of saying half of this crap she's not sure she understands, but can roll with. ]

[He nods, smiling. Two weeks isn't very long, all things considered.]

It takes some getting used to. Is there anything I can do to help?

Edited 2015-11-23 16:28 (UTC)

[ People are so weird, always offering help. ]

Perhaps. Do you fight?

[He nods.]

I can, if I have to. But I don't start fights - not with people, at least.

[ She frowns, not following. ]

Not with people?

I fought Shadows, mostly.

[Past tense. Not a thing he does anymore.]

What kind of beings are these Shadows?

[Souji frowns slightly as he ponders the question; it's not a subject he's given much thought in the past. It was sort of a given - these are Shadows, they have to be defeated.]

I guess you could call them monsters. They weren't friendly, and they could easily kill you, if they were strong enough.

I am a monster, but I'm not a Shadow. There is some flaw in your description.

You don't look like a monster.

[ She shrugs. ]

What does? I am daughter of the Demon, and one myself.

You look too pretty to be a monster.

[And he hesitates with his follow-up thought - but at least a few people have already seen it, in the strange dream episodes, or whatever they are. There's no real point in keeping it secret anymore.]

I was a demon, once. You don't really look like one, either.

All pretty things are dangerous.

[ Sara was. Is, in Nyssa's heart. ]

What kind of demon were you?

Mm, I guess I hadn't thought of it that way before. But you're right.

[His memory trips backward, to blue eyes set in a scarred face, framed by blond hair. You're beautiful. Sharp teeth, and a wicked smile. I am what I am. Souji shakes himself from the thought.]

I was a fallen angel. He fought on the losing side of the war in Heaven. Wings, tail, horns. [He crooks a finger of each hand and places them atop his head, miming the horns.] He enjoyed hurting people.

Pain is necessary. Cruelty has a purpose, but becomes ineffective when used indiscriminately.

You are not one anymore. What changed?

[Pain is necessary. It sounds, Souji thinks, like the sort of thing Mason would say, and the part of his brain that remembers living as a demon for thousands of years whispers an acknowledgement of the truth in her statement.]

The Jaunt ended. It was only temporary - a few weeks, I think. There was something we were supposed to do in Melasurei - that was the name of the city. I don't think we did it, though.

[The city was on the brink of war, at the end, and Liminal Space afterwards felt angry, punishing them with unflattering words inked on their skin. GUILTY sat underneath Souji's collar, a proclamation for all to see.]

[ Pain is necessary. Just like sadness and love and joy are all necessary. Just like life and death are inevitable. ]

You were taken somewhere and forced to be something not of your choosing?

[Souji nods.]

That's how the Trumps work. Sometimes you're changed, sometimes you aren't. I was the first time, but I haven't been since. We never know what or where we'll be until we get there.

Yet you are not a demon in your nature, like I am.

[That's the real question though, isn't it: how much of the demon was still Souji; how much common nature did they share. In the Liminal Space right after, with the immediacy of having two sets of memories crammed into his brain, competing for space ... it was hard to say. Being a demon felt real to him, then. Now, with some time and distance from the Jaunt ... it's faded, but not entirely.]

I don't know. [He gives her a rueful smile.] I'd like to think I'm not the kind of person who's capable of doing the things he did, but ... [He shrugs.] I remember hurting people, and I remember liking it. Not a distant memory of things he did in his life - actual things I did, with my own hands. [Which he holds out to her, palms up, remembering sparks of electricity he shot from his fingers to torture Naoto in a bid to get her to give up her power to him, and the girl M kidnapped and glamoured to look like Rise that he nearly killed.]

[ She studies his hands. To her there's never been anything wrong with hurting someone and liking it if they hurt you first, or someone you love. It's acceptable up to a point — no one indulges in sadism. ]

What we like to think and what is true is not the same. Something can become your nature for a short while, but all it leaves are scars. If you are strong.

[Scars. Souji knows something about that. But he's genuinely curious, now.]

Is that a sign of strength?

[With one finger, he points to his face, indicating the slash mark scar across his left cheek.]

I got this when I was the demon. One of my friends from - [not home; Inaba wasn't his home, not really] - where I lived for the past year, before I started Traveling, she was there in Melasurei too. I didn't recognize her, of course.

[He drops his hand from his face and stares down at his interlaced fingers in front of him, frowning as he recounts the rest of the story.]

She has power, and the demon was ... interested in her power. Obsessed, I guess you could say. That's mostly what he thought about - how to get more power, how to manipulate people into giving him power. Taking it by force, if it was necessary. I kidnapped and tortured my friend, trying to convince her to give me her power. But she fought back.

[There are other scars acquired from that Jaunt, too: another cut on his throat, underneath his collar; teeth-shaped marks on his wrist, hidden under his sleeve. Different circumstances and a different person, but still not something Souji thinks of as being signs of strength.]

I don't think I was very strong, then.

[ Nyssa's eyes flick to where he gestures, hanging off his every word. When he's done, she nods. ]

You survived. It is proof of your strength. Under different circumstances you may have succumbed to the wounds or lost yourself to this other creature. Perhaps freedom was not fully of your own doing, but it does not change the fact.

[What she says - it's honestly the first time it's occurred to Souji to think of it in these terms. He'd only ever seen those scars as marks of shame before, tangible reminders of the wrongdoings he'd committed. It never once crossed his mind to think that he'd survived the ordeal, and the scars were proof of his tenacity.]

You're right. Thank you.

002; i'm pulling my questions from my shelf

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