Є004

[forgetyourusedtobe]

Who: Elena + You
Broadcast: video
Action: marsiva
When: rite nao!!

[Elena is curled up on one of the couches.]

So is anyone else starting to get a little worried we're not going back to our ships? I thought maybe this would last a couple of days or a week at the most, but...

[She shakes her head a little with a sigh.]

At least they gave us some entertainment, I guess.

[If her tone of voice is any indication, she doesn't find that all that comforting.]

Comments

[mylegacy]

Oh, good. Finally someone who's not going to call me paranoid.

[forgetyourusedtobe]

People have been calling you paranoid about the the same...people [to use the term loosely] who kidnapped us and stuck us in a space reality TV show against our will putting augments in our brains and giving us no way back home without their say-so?

action;

[stefanged]

[Stefan approaches her, soon after that broadcast, with a freshly made cup of Irish coffee (and of course, his usual mug of tea for himself). Salvatore doesn't comfort people with food, he suspects - but it's second nature for Stefan to whip something up and bring it over, even if neither of them need it.]

Hey. I finally remembered how to make this, so... [He sits beside her, holding out the mug of coffee.] One Irish Coffee, with a little extra just in case.

[forgetyourusedtobe]

[Elena smiles, sitting up on the couch both to actually drink the coffee she's being offered and to make room for Stefan, tucking her knees in close to herself. She takes a sip from the coffee, making a surprised hum.]

I'll say there's a little extra, [she teases.] Thanks, Stefan.

[mylegacy]

Yes.

[Wow, how much bitter sarcasm can one dude pour into one syllable? Apparently a lot.]

[forgetyourusedtobe]

[Do we need to pop in the Princess Bride again, Caesar? She can queue it up.]

Well, it's not paranoia if it's true.

[mylegacy]

[If something's worth watching once, it's worth watching 2739482349 times.]

That's what they say.

Providing entertainment just seems like a good way to keep us complacent.

[forgetyourusedtobe]

I hate to say it, but there's not exactly a whole lot we could do against them right now anyway.

[mylegacy]

Thank you for reminding me.

[forgetyourusedtobe]

Sorry, I'm usually a little better at this whole cheering people up thing.

[Being quite used to dire situations and all.]

[mylegacy]

[Yeah, well, you're talking to the eternal pessimist here, so.]

It wouldn't be helpful if it were just a lie. It's fine.

[forgetyourusedtobe]

Is a lie really such a bad thing if it gives someone hope?

[mylegacy]

That's not what I mean. It wouldn't give me hope if I knew it wasn't true.

[forgetyourusedtobe]

You don't ever try to at least trick yourself into believing it?

[mylegacy]

No.

[He's quiet for a moment.]

I think I would like to see the truth of things, if I can.

[forgetyourusedtobe]

I don't think I always want to. I don't like it when people lie to me intentionally, [and take the choice away from her] but sometimes it feels better seeing something else. Even if it's only for a little while.

[mylegacy]

Mm.

Can you give me an example?

[stefanged]

No problem.

[He returns the smile, taking a sip of his tea.]

I just figured, with all the craziness and weird dreams we've been having, you could use something stronger.

private;

[forgetyourusedtobe]

[Elena thinks a moment before switching the feed over to a private setting.]

I pretended that becoming what I am didn't really change me for a long time. I had to give up the idea of so many things that were keeping me going before, I couldn't lose myself on top of it.

I had to give up on having a career. Getting married. Having kids. Growing old. You know, that stuff was hard to believe in before I died. [Elena swallows thickly, shaking her head a little. It all seemed a little too selfish and out of reach even as a human doppelganger. The people who were close to her and that she loved would always be in danger by virtue of what she is.] Then it became impossible. I wasn't ready to die at eighteen. I know that's a weak excuse, but...

This...it's not what I wanted. I had the choice before. It was almost taken away from me because Damon was selfish and thought he was in love with me, but I was ready to take my chances on another way. And if I died then, at least the people who mattered to me were going to be okay and stay safe. Becoming a vampire was never on the table.

But the second time around was different. And I wasn't ready.

So, I held on for a really long time to that girl who almost died with her parents until I had to let her go because I didn't really have anything else left.

[forgetyourusedtobe]

[She flashes a wry smile at the mention of the dreams. Her memory is a little hazy when it comes to all of those dreams, but she remembers enough for it to be uncomfortable.]

Too bad nothing seems to really help when the clock gets down to zero.

[stefanged]

[Unfortunately, he's been remembering everything, even when he wants to wipe the memories from his brain. Atroma's been stupidly fickle that way.]

You too? I was wondering if that was just me.

[He lets out a sigh.] Most of them haven't been too bad, but I've been seeing my friends' memories and it's been... weird. Like I'm intruding on something I'm not supposed to be.

[forgetyourusedtobe]

I don't know what the point of this is supposed to be. [She takes another sip of her coffee.] What do they get out of it?

[stefanged]

If the audience can see all of this, impossibly high ratings - but of course, that's assuming that we're on a TV show to begin with.

[While he can't outright deny that hypothesis, he's not sure he believes in it either.]

private;

[mylegacy]

[I had to give up on having a career. Getting married. Having kids. Growing old.]

[His expression goes a little pinched. He wonders when, exactly, he decided that he wasn't going to have a future. There had to have been a point, a moment in time, when all of his plans changed. Was it right then at the beginning, with his father and the wall? Or was it later, when he was deep enough in training to really understand what he was up against? Or was it right at the end, when he had an ounce of strength left and he knew what he had to use it for?]

[Maybe he'll never know. But there was a moment when he just - gave up.]

[He gives her a crooked smile.]

I might not be able to understand. I was ready to die, when I did.

[forgetyourusedtobe]

Still a skeptic?