Calibrations Spill-Over Post

[thespaceopera]

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Comments

[lord_wizard]

In part, yes. I wasn't just unable to help, I was a hindrance. He would have had every right to leave me to my own devices. I don't think I would have blamed him for that. But also that ignoring him afterwards was the greatness unkindness I could have dealt him...at the time.

[There were far more after that, and many of them delivered with far more purpose that than first time]

His livelihood relied on his physical skill, so that injury cost him nearly everything he had left. Granted...had we not met...he would have died if I hadn't intervened. I imagine I would have ended up much the same way, but...[he makes a shrugging gesture]

[notmutantbutmiracle]

[Wanda looks at Felix, her tone is calm and level. Yet, there is clearly a discernible desire coming for her to rely some kind of empathy, some shared understanding of what Felix is expressing.]

All of the "what if's" and "could have been's"... they will truly drag you down and hold you prisoner if you let them. You ignoring your brother... that was not you. You did not have complete control over yourself. It seems unfair to yourself to continue to harbor such guilt. I know it is easier said than done, to forgive oneself. It would be hypocritical of me to imply that I were capable of the same. Yet, even so... perhaps we have to try?

[lord_wizard]

[His smile is sad in response. Not just because he has been trying, but because she's still missing so much of the picture. She doesn't know the ugliness he had once perpetuated on his brother. The monster he was capable of being.]

I know. And he did forgive me once...in another time...[Another chance Paradisa had given him. He glanced down at his fox-brother, smile strained, and the animal wagged it's tail in acknowledgement]

But it's easy to forget. It's easy to keep going through the catalog of my failures. I just...simply prefer when they don't hurt anyone but myself. But perhaps it's arrogant of me to assume that's possible.

[notmutantbutmiracle]

[Wanda looks away for a moment in contemplation, before turning back to Felix. Her eyes looking a little more earnest and empathetic.]

I do not think it is arrogant or naive to hope for that. No good person wants to be the source of another's suffering. And it is not easy to ignore the feelings of guilt that come from hurting others through our own mistakes. Forgiveness or not... the mistake lies in perhaps not remembering our error, and not letting it drive us to become better people.

[lord_wizard]

[He can see in her eyes that this message isn't just for him, and he remembers some of the regret he'd seen when she'd told him about what she'd done with her abilities. He judged her, then, and that only adds to the frisson of pain he feels. Being called a good person still felt like wearing a coat that didn't quite fit. Even after all he'd done in the years past, would it ever feel like enough?

There's something in his own eyes she might not have seen before; something shy and uncertain. He blinks it away, after a moment, and smiles again. This time, there's something more genuine in it.]

Thank you. It's something that needs reminding, now and again, I suppose.

[He draws in a steadying breath] You're welcome to stay for awhile.

[notmutantbutmiracle]

[Wanda smiles back at Felix. A genuine warmth to her smile, before it becomes something a little more playful.]

Thank you. I think I will.

[She settles into the armchair a little further. Clearly content to enjoy her comfy seat by the fire.]