gotta get down for a mingle

[redactions]

Who: The crew of the SS Heron and visitors.
Broadcast: nope.
Action: Aboard the SS Heron.
When: After returning to the ship.

[ finally back on the right ship, except the corridors are all mysteriously cold and the ship seems smaller. Thanks, Atroma. New crew, visitors, starters in comments ]

Comments

[mucked]

[ she recalls the hard advice she'd given steve in the wake of bucky's death -- that if he loved his friend, he would not take upon his shoulders all the blame for a risk that was, ultimately, bucky's to take. but who else can she blame but herself for risks not-yet-taken?

he pleads with her to reconsider some future decision, and then pleads with her not to take the responsibility so heavily into her hands. and peggy feels torn between the two. but for his sake, she nods. ]

But it wasn't just me, was it? Whose advice are you cautioning me against?

[redactions]

[ He doesn't know who whispers in her ear. That's the bottom line: she's alone. Phillips is a good man but he sees the War first. Howard sees the future in every weapon he builds over the century; to Jim he is too much of an unknown to be trustworthy. She was with them all throughout the worst days of the War, and she goes on alone. ]

Whoever persuades you that making certain compromises is necessary. You and I both know what compromise is, Pegs, we did a hell lot of it, and it's followin' us. Some things, you gotta do. It's just [ he exhales ] hard, sometimes, when it ain't clear what's worth the cost.

[mucked]

[ not alone -- never quite alone. but she doesn't breathe words about mister jarvis: not yet, and not to anyone. he remains a certain sort of secret. like a confidential informant, too precious to risk. ]

Jim. [ ... ] Will I even remember any of this conversation?

[ she doubts it. ]

[redactions]

I don't know.

[ It feels like a helpless refrain. ]

I'm willing to take the chance.

[mucked]

[ a hum. after the initial shock, she's beginning to regain some of her trademark stiffened upper lip. ]

Then I suppose it's only appropriate to risk it, myself, as well. [ the pie, its dregs, and its accomplishment, are all forgotten. ] For the future's sake.

[redactions]

[ He stifles a sound that might be a laugh. ]

Sorry, that got depressin' real fast. It's on me.

[mucked]

You've been holding it in for a while. [ she tilts her head. ] I'm the one who didn't ask sooner. We'll share the blame.

[redactions]

Least it's out in the open.

Would you like another slice? I could do with somethin' warm.

[mucked]

As delicious as it is -- [ she shakes her head ] -- I think I'm rather off my appetite, now.

[redactions]

All right. Should I pack some?

[mucked]

Yes, thanks. [ but she at least busies herself with some moderate clean-up. standing (stiffly) from the table and collecting both their plates. ] And a piece for Howard's son, as well, if you don't mind. I could use a means of ingratiating myself with him.

[redactions]

Hm, if he's anything like the one I know, homemade pie won't do it. I'll get ya somethin', don't worry. [ a beat. ] You're prob'ly not gonna like the smell, just sayin'.

[mucked]

-- Dare I ask what?

[redactions]

A grilled cheeseburger. Nearest I can approximate.

[mucked]

[ bugger, but he knows her too well. the simple thought makes her nose twitch with anticipated disgust. ] Burgers -- oh, blimey. What a perfectly horrid way to ruin a good piece of beef.

[redactions]

[ He snorts, close to laughter. ]

Wait til you hear his music. If it can even be called that.

[mucked]

If the future can be changed, that ought to settle somewhere nearish the top of the list: encourage Howard not to raise his son like some sort of barbarian.

[ she doesn't dislike tony -- not really. but at least howard had possessed a sensible charm and courtesy instilled in him by his decade. ]

[redactions]

Sorry, I'm kinda busy coolin' my heels for that one.

[ He smiles, a little helplessly. ]

[mucked]

A burden for my own shoulders, then. [ a huff. a sigh. a roll of her eyes. ] Right after I slug him for five or six other offences. He...

[ it almost tumbled out -- naturally, easily. but she reins herself in. ] Sorry. Shop-talk. Not always welcome, and decades in the dust for you -- now.

[redactions]

Doesn't mean I won't listen to a friend.

[ Open-ended, for her to talk about if she wants. ]

[mucked]

[ alright. she'll pick up the opportunity.

she turns away from the sink, still-sudsy dishes left half-scrubbed. peggy leans her palms on the counter's edge and stands -- like a statue in a hauntingly domestic pose. ]

What's worse, Jim? An intentional security leak -- a mole, or sorts -- or an unwitting one?

[redactions]

[ He doesn't even need to ponder. ]

The intentional one, but I get the feeling this ain't that black and white.

[mucked]

The intentional leak -- we can punish this chap. We can leave him out in the cold, so to speak. [ or worse. likely enough, she means worse. ] But the unwitting fool! Well, we can punish him too. Demotion, or we cut him loose. Find him a cushy desk job far from anything of any importance.

And then there's Howard Stark. He doesn't work for us -- can't fire him. But the bastard's got whole vault of toys and tricks that can cause an awful lot of havoc if he gets...foolish.

[ breathes in. breathes out. she cares very much for howard, in the end. friendship takes her across a great many bridges, and she came too close to burning that one. but she isn't so blinded by her affection to realize that (in practical terms) his poor judgement with 'dottie' is barely a step above being the traitor the s.s.r. so desperately wanted him to be. ]

[redactions]

Not good news in a Cold War. [ he runs a hand through his hair lightly ] You won't have to worry about it for very long, though, you fix that.

[ Howard works for SHIELD, where she can keep an eye on him. Probably half the reason he sticks around there. ]

[mucked]

So it's not all fumbles and mistakes, is it? [ the quirk of her mouth suggests she's (mostly) joking. ]