Third Transmutation [Video]

[thebloodseal]

Who: Alphonse Elric and YOU
Broadcast: Fleetwide
Action: SS Vanquish
When: Right now

[When the camera turns on, Al is pointing it at a crate labeled "ALPHONSE ELRIC, SS VANQUISH", with a sponsor logo on it. Unfortunately, Al seems to think it's just a mailing company's label, as he rests his communicator in a groove on his armor to give everyone a view before he eagerly opens up the crate.]

Someone sent me a present already? I didn't think I would get fans this quickly. I wonder what...

[He trails off as he picks up a letter on top of some packing peanuts, reading it aloud to himself, but still audible.]

"Dear Mr. Elric, our company hopes you will take advantage of this opportunity to enter into a unique business arrangement. You see, we've been watching you on the show, and your appearance and sad story hold a lot of potential audience appeal. Your body also makes you stand out in a good way, and we think it makes you the perfect candidate to advertise our products! Please consider wearing our logos in exchange for a modest stipend, or perhaps using some of that nifty alchemy to prominently engrave one into your armor- we'd pay you a handsome bonus!"

[Al stares at the letter in disbelief for a few moments before transmuting it into an origami bird and tossing it aside. He then pulls out the packing peanuts, revealing a package of assorted magnets in various shapes and sizes featuring product logos. Underneath that is what appears to be a package of branded tabards, the perfect size for him to wear. Then, as he digs more, he reveals many samples of said products- mini boxes of cereal, coffee and tea in various flavors, sugar cubes and packets, packets of jam and honey, loaves of plain bread...

Al grabs his communicator and turns it on himself, resisting the urge to facepalm.]

This is a joke, right? They can't be serious... can they?

Comments

Video

[lostthebet]

[Cayde can't help but laugh, but he does feel bad for the kid.]

Damn, that's rich. Don't sell yourself short, kid.

Video

[thebloodseal]

[Al is examining the magnets.]

I don't know whether to be flattered or insulted, honestly. I mean, it's not like I chose this body...

Video

[lostthebet]

I think that depends entirely on you. Some people like the payout. Some people like their dignity.

Video

[thebloodseal]

Would it be awful of me to engrave a logo into my armor then erase it as soon as I have the cash?

Re: Video

[lostthebet]

[Cayde's facial plates shift to mild surprise.] Sounds pretty drastic,think you found get rid of it after?

Video

[thebloodseal]

I could do it with my alchemy, definitely. Or have Toph Metalbend it off if she wants.

Re: Video

[lostthebet]

[Alchemy, huh? That catches Cayde's attention until Al continues and mentions something more interesting.]

Metalbending? Should I be worried?

[Video]

[goldenglasses]

That food looks nice, but I'd hold out for something more tasty. Like donuts!

[No, Vash doesn't get that Al can't eat.]

[Video]

[thebloodseal]

Donuts... [Al reaches into his tabard for a small notebook and pen and writes in it.] That would be good, wouldn't it? I haven't had any in a long time.

[Video]

[goldenglasses]

Really?! That's just terrible! So horrible! Is it because you've been trapped on these ships? Sometimes the planets we go to have some! Hopefully we'll get to one soon and you can have some donuts again!

[Or he could share the ones that were in his gift basket, but no. Those are his.]

[Video]

[thebloodseal]

I haven't been here long enough to go to a planet yet, actually! But it's less lack of access and more the fact that I don't need to eat in this body.

[Video]

[goldenglasses]

Oh. Really? [But he said use to.] So you weren't always in that body? Ah, unless of course, you don't want to talk about it.

[Video]

[thebloodseal]

I don't mind! My normal body is an ordinary flesh-and-blood one, but I can't access it right now. There was... an accident when I was younger, and Brother ended up sealing my soul to this armor.

Video

[alwayscomeback]

Yeeeeeeeeeep, that sounds about right for these guys honestly. Don't ever expect anything either useful or something that protects your dignity in any way.

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[thebloodseal]

I want to answer them by engraving one of their logos on my body, then erasing it as soon as the credits are in my account. I can get at least some dignity back that way.

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[alwayscomeback]

...You know, I like that idea. That'll show them.

Of course, now you've said it out loud they'll probably be onto you, but hey, nice try.

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[thebloodseal]

Well, they weren't paying enough attention to me to tell that I can't eat or drink, so maybe I can still pull it off. Or maybe, given how twisted this place has been so far, they'll like seeing my rebellious side.

Video

[alwayscomeback]

Maybe. It might be something the quote-unquote viewers love. We never really seen any of them, so who knows what they like.

If they exist at all. Not gonna lie, I'm starting to doubt that.

Video

[thebloodseal]

Really? What reason do you have to think that, if you don't mind me asking?

video...

[bolder]

What? What is it?

[Toph's peering intently at the comm, for all the good that does her. Really, she's just eagerly waiting for Al to explain the joke.]

video...

[thebloodseal]

Oh! [Right- Toph's blind.] They sent me a bunch of magnets to stick on my body with logos on them. And tabards to wear, also with prominent logos. Plus a bunch of food samples- they must not have been watching me very closely if they didn't catch on to the fact that I can't eat.

video...

[bolder]

Dibs on the food samples.

[Now, moving on.] Magnets, huh? Mind if I take a look?

video...

[thebloodseal]

If you like cereal, plain bread, and jam, you're welcome to them.

Sure- I got assigned to the Vanquish! I'm sure Clay wouldn't mind if you want to visit.

video...

[bolder]

Score.

[Toph snorts.] Right, that guy. Sure, I'm free later if you're up for it.

[thebloodseal]

Really? I'll set some aside for you, then, and keep the rest for my crew.

I'll be around any time you can come over- literally, since I don't need to sleep.