driftfleet | Third Transmutation [Video]

Who: Alphonse Elric and YOU
Broadcast: Fleetwide
Action: SS Vanquish
When: Right now

[When the camera turns on, Al is pointing it at a crate labeled "ALPHONSE ELRIC, SS VANQUISH", with a sponsor logo on it. Unfortunately, Al seems to think it's just a mailing company's label, as he rests his communicator in a groove on his armor to give everyone a view before he eagerly opens up the crate.]

Someone sent me a present already? I didn't think I would get fans this quickly. I wonder what...

[He trails off as he picks up a letter on top of some packing peanuts, reading it aloud to himself, but still audible.]

"Dear Mr. Elric, our company hopes you will take advantage of this opportunity to enter into a unique business arrangement. You see, we've been watching you on the show, and your appearance and sad story hold a lot of potential audience appeal. Your body also makes you stand out in a good way, and we think it makes you the perfect candidate to advertise our products! Please consider wearing our logos in exchange for a modest stipend, or perhaps using some of that nifty alchemy to prominently engrave one into your armor- we'd pay you a handsome bonus!"

[Al stares at the letter in disbelief for a few moments before transmuting it into an origami bird and tossing it aside. He then pulls out the packing peanuts, revealing a package of assorted magnets in various shapes and sizes featuring product logos. Underneath that is what appears to be a package of branded tabards, the perfect size for him to wear. Then, as he digs more, he reveals many samples of said products- mini boxes of cereal, coffee and tea in various flavors, sugar cubes and packets, packets of jam and honey, loaves of plain bread...

Al grabs his communicator and turns it on himself, resisting the urge to facepalm.]

This is a joke, right? They can't be serious... can they?

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Probably not. They only ever talked to us twice in the whole year and they never gave any straight answers to anything. Jerks.

Twice in a YEAR?! How did all of you manage to live day-to-day outside of that? I mean, in my time we don't even have video calls, so I'm sure I'm not the only one who wouldn't know enough about the technology here to operate it myself...

Mostly by just rolling with the punches and sometimes screaming at a video screen they would never answer.

You'll get used to it.

Yeah, I guess you'd have had no choice but to adapt. And yelling at them when they won't respond probably helped you feel better, righ?

Surprisingly, not as much. It just made me more frustrated.

Yeah, I can see that, too. It's frustrating that, no matter what happens, they seem to think we should be happy they were benevolent enough to kidnap us and treat us like zoo animals.

Exaaaactly! It's like they're doing us a favour, keeping us here like this.

And meanwhile, the audience and the sponsors seem to get a kick out of our suffering. We don't have television back where I come from, so whether or not the audience exists, this idea of being on a show is so foreign to me and I don't understand how it could make money at all.

Yeah, I don't have television in my world either. I don't really get it? I mean, do they get money from people who pay to watch it? It doesn't make sense.

That's something I definitely want to find out. I'd be able to live with this at least a little better if it made more sense to me.

Maybe someday we'll be able to figure it out better. Like a waystation will explain it or...something.

And then we can put together a welcoming pamphlet for new arrivals.

You know, I'm sure somebody was talking about one of those things. It's a really good idea.

Especially if you're like me and come from a world where all this technology is new. I was able to work out how to use things, but if you don't even so much as have a telephone back home... with no guidance, how else can you figure things out?

My world is pretty sparse on the technology, too. Lucky for me, I got the engineering augment to help me out.

But hey, if you ever need any pointers, I'm always happy to lend a hand.

So the augments do make up for some lacking knowledge for everyone... mine is security, and it definitely helped me learn how to use the weapons I found when I was finally on my ship.

Well, is there an easier way to type? I have huge fingers, so I often end up mashing the wrong buttons.

It's pretty much one of the only useful things Atroma have done for us.

ACTUALLY, yes! I can make you a little...pencil thing. I think there's a real name for them but it sounds dumb. It looks like a pencil, but it's not got a tip, so you can use it on the buttons to type easier.

I'd appreciate that! I think there are times typing might be quicker, but I tend to avoid it because of that.

No problem buddy, I can get it done in a couple days for you.

Thanks a lot. I'll do something to pay you back some day.

Don't mention it. We gotta look out for one another here.

Well, then I'll just give my thanks. I'm glad people here feel that way.

You're not the only one there, buddy.

Did I ever introduce myself...? I'm Alphonse!

Nice to meetcha, Alphonse. I'm Sokka.

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