♢ 01

[effluent]

Who: Sarah Turner and you!
Broadcast: Fleetwide
Action: SS Golden
When: 12/06

[as the video flickers on, a blonde teenager stares intently at the camera before she flashes a toothy smile and leans in closer]

Aaaand there we go. Testing, one two-- [she taps the camera twice and grins a little wider as she hears feedback from her own device]

Is it too late for a Wizard of Oz reference? Because we sure are not in Kansas any more. [her left hand reaches up to fiddle with a strand of her wavy blonde hair as she looks up, past the camera]

So tell me if I leave anything out, because here's what I've got figured out so far. We're on Survivor: Space Edition, with just a dab of Star Travel mixed in for flavor. And I'm guessing instead of getting voted off the island, we get jetted off into space? Man, and I thought human reality TV was vicious. Turns out aliens are the real assholes.

[but despite that she laughs a bit at her own joke and turns her full attention back to the screen before she continues]

I guess the meet-and-greet comes next. Hey, I'm Sarah. [she wiggles the fingers of her right hand in a half-hearted wave] Nice to meet you, blah blah blah. While we're on the subject of introductions, I looked through the contestant list, and you guys have some wild names. Special shout out to "Belthazar" and "Adrasteius"... I can't tell if your parents were huge nerds, or if they just hated you.

So! Who all is out there? Don't be shy, I don't bite... much. [aaand yep, she accompanies that with another shit-eating-grin. She'll also be lounging around the Golden's kitchen area... Draped forward on the counter and snacking on her free pudding. Such a class act, this one.]

Comments

[effluent]

And I'm saying I did. "Am I trying to piss everyone off"? My answer is, "Maybe".

Come on, keep up.

[experiencepoints]

"Maybe" isn't an answer.

Though you have made it obvious. But, since you didn't give a real answer, I won't either.

[effluent]

Fine. [she shrugs] I was just trying to be polite.

[totally not what she was trying to do, but moving on]

I'll just make my own assumptions.

[experiencepoints]

[That actually gets her to stop and gape openly.]

What part of any of that was polite?

[effluent]

I was trying to feign interest. But if I'm being real with you, I don't really care.

[you want to play the game Nightengale, SHE WILL THROW THE SHADE...]

[experiencepoints]

... No, wait, I get it.

[She suddenly brightens, like she realized something obvious.]

You're just like Skunk.

[effluent]

[. . . Not like she cares but why.................

No she does care, a tiny bit]

What the hell is that supposed to mean?

[experiencepoints]

Hm? Is this more feigned interest?

[She doesn't mind sharing, but that reaction was too good to pass up on.]

[effluent]

[mmmmrg, her eyes droop a little into a "are you serious" face]

Sure. Or maybe I just don't like being compared to a skunk.

[experiencepoints]

Oh, he wasn't actually a skunk. Though that might have been more flattering to be compared to.

[effluent]

You were obviously his biggest fan?

[experiencepoints]

Actually, I kind of was. He didn't have many friends, with how he acted.

[effluent]

[hm, that isn't what she expected]

Huh. Then he really doesn't sound like me at all.

[experiencepoints]

Really? Talking big and and pissing off everyone because of your own issues right out the gates? You can't have many close to you.

[effluent]

Um, rude. You know literally nothing about my life.

[experiencepoints]

Actually, I can hazard a few guesses. People don't act like that without some shit going on.

[effluent]

Uh huh, sure. I don't know what psychoanalysis high horse you're riding on, but I'll save you some time. I'm a bitch, and I know that. So when I want your uninformed opinion, I'll ask. Okay, cutie?

[experiencepoints]

Actually, it's less psychoanalysis, and more a basic Scan spell.

[It's not. Scan doesn't even work that way, but she's willing to bet this girl doesn't know that. Honestly, at this point, she's just trying to get a rise out of her. Talking out of her ass or not, this seems to be working.]

[effluent]

Ah, so you do have some weird magic getup. [spells and all that.. She can tell that this conversation is getting away from her, sooo]

And you're scanning me with it, I'm so touched.

[experiencepoints]

What? No. Are you an idiot? These are my normal clothes. I have actual robes for when I'm doing real magic.

[effluent]

Seriously? So you always walk around in thigh-high boots and a mini skirt? Man, and people back home called me scandalous...

[experiencepoints]

What's scandalous about this? It's not really my style, but it's not that weird.

[Yes it is, but she's not going to let that girl get under her skin.]

[effluent]

Oh yeah, my bad, I forgot how everyone dresses up in a billowing cape for fun.

But at least the color suits you. [even though it's a compliment somehow she makes it sound like an insult...?]

[experiencepoints]

It's my team's color.

But if you're so concerned about scandal, my grandmother wears less than this when she goes fighting. What's the problem?

[effluent]

[hah, that gets a snort-laugh out of her]

Now that's a mental image! [but she ignores the question on the end and asks about the first half]

So what's your team name? Magical Strippers?