three ➵ text (ANONYMOUS)

[versusnurture]

Who: ??? (but secretly abigail) (BUT WHO) & you
Broadcast: Fleetwide
Action: P....ossibly but I'm not sure where yet!
When: 12/8, early morning

I can't find a listing of ships counselors. I know they exist, I just need a list. And I need to know which ones are actually reliable. Personal experience rather than conjecture preferred but not requisite.

[And that . . . appears to be all.]

Comments

text (permanon)

[versusnurture]

That's the other thing. I'm not completely sure. I'm not sure what Atroma's goal is with the counselors, since I don't have the augment, so I don't know what knowledge has been input if any. But where I come from, counselors are supposed to support people in times of stress and help them learn and utilize positive coping mechanisms. With confidentiality.

Which is why it's stupid that there aren't any checks and balances in place as far as I can tell, or a public list of counselors even, because it's so so so easy to hurt people if you know secret painful things about them and I'm not doing that.

[Again.]

text (permanon)

[steeledskin]

[ the startling honesty contained in these lines leaves her breathless -- and for a moment, she finds herself seduced by anonymity. sansa almost replies with words she'd be too frightened to tie to her honest name. but at the last moment, good grace and discretion prevail. ]

It sounds as though it is a heavy responsibility. I do not envy these people.

[versusnurture]

[She's not the only one. Truthfully, Abigail's being much more honest, at least emotionally if not factually, with the anonymous function than she would be if her name was attached to this. Part of it is, of course a trap - fishing - to see how any potentials respond to her vulnerability. But part of it is that she is vulnerable. She just is.]

It's a heavy responsibility. And it's not fair. Because you're supposed to be able to choose whether you want to do it or not. You're supposed to be able to pick it as a career or say hell no, I'm never going to do that. But Atroma makes you.

None of that changes the fact that I need help. But it's not fair.

[steeledskin]

I'm sorry.

[ at first, she'd been baffled by her allotted 'career' within the strange micro-society of the fleet. but now she wonders whether she ought to fear it. sansa knows her shoulders are not strong enough to carry such a burden.

unwilling counsel must be as unwelcome as an unwilling wife. ]

It isn't fair. Not for you.

[ and not for me. ]

[versusnurture]

I'm used to not fair.

[She is. And she's gotten used to fighting to make things as fair as she can, too, which is why she made this post at all. It's fair to have some kind of help, even if the kind that comes isn't fair.]

[But there's that other thing, too.]

It's only a matter of time until somebody goes crazy without support around here, though. Or, you know. Crazier.

[steeledskin]

[ had she been a more prescient and self-analytical person, she might have wondered whether she wasn't crazy for lack of help or a dearth of fairness. but sansa doesn't see herself as someone who needs counsel. counsel is for kings and lord protectors, and not for silly little girls. ]

I pray you find someone worthy of listening. I truly do.

[versusnurture]

Praying doesn't help. Doing helps.

[It's not a nice thing to say. But it's not the meanest thing she could have chosen, either.]

[steeledskin]

We can't all do.

[versusnurture]

[Oh.]

That's true. I'm sorry. I didn't used to be able to do, but now I am, so sometimes I forget. But I shouldn't.

[steeledskin]

-- What changed?

[versusnurture]

A few things. I killed the man who hurt me most, but that's a doing thing and probably not a helpful answer for you.

I found people to help me. That was the biggest change. And I worked hard to stop being afraid of help. I'm most of the way there now, but it's still hard sometimes. A lot of the time.

[steeledskin]

[ it's no good. sansa watched the boy-king who'd hurt her the most as he fell and writhed in his own drool -- dying, dead, and gone. and (in effect) because of her. she'd done nothing, but she'd carried the weapon. she'd been a catspaw.

and in the end, she only feels more despair. and baelish's voice, asking here whether she dared risk more blood on her hands...? ]

You must be so relieved to be so strong, now.

[versusnurture]

So you don't think that would work for you.

[steeledskin]

Death does not end my misery. Not anyone's.

[ death merely compounds it. exacerbates it. ]

And there are none here who can help me.

[versusnurture]

Death ends the misery of the living if the person killed is a killer.

What would help you? Do you know?

[steeledskin]

My father. He would help me.

[versusnurture]

Oh.

Mine wouldn't.

Um, what would help you about him?

[steeledskin]

He was just and wise. And I learned to love his virtues far too late.

[versusnurture]

He died?

[steeledskin]

Murdered.