A WORD FROM YOUR SPONSORS: TREAT YO' SELF (or don't)

[theroadwarrior]

Who: Max Rockatansky
Broadcast: Fleetwide
Action: SS Starstruck
When: Lately, idk. Today??

[The feed opens up rather oddly, but then, Max almost never posts anything. So that in of itself is weird. The video catches Max wandering back and forth in the cargo bay of the Starstruck — apparently working on some minor damages to one of the shuttles. Likely a piloting gig, considering how much he'd been out of the ship and making chips on the side. He looks like an oil monkey right about now, black grease on his forehead and a general unkempt-ness about him from his time without bothering to trim his hair at all, in any way. Who has time for that crap? Not Max.

He makes a confused sort of sound off the screen, and then stops in front of the table that the feed is streaming from with a... box? It appears to be a new arrival, a confusing thing that Max can't figure out the original delivery time on. The label on it, if you turn your head, appears to say:

TO: MEATHEAD
BUTCHER
MR. SURVIVALIST
PILOT TWO
FOOL
POUTYLIPS

FROM: YOUR SPECIAL SPONSOR!

Max clicks the metallic locks on either side and with a HISSS, the box opens. What could be inside...?! Hell if he knows. He stares unimpressed at the giftbasket crammed full of... particular hygienic products. Shaving cream, razors, body spray, shampoos —]



[The name, of course, is actually just generic, changed just slightly from their Earth counterpart. XES is clearly more sensual than AXE. Not that Max is familiar with any of them anyway, but still. He continues his unimpressed stare as an electronic voice emits from said box. It kind of sounds like SIRI. Also something he is not familiar with.]

"Congratulations on your sponsor gift! Mysterious quiet type, what a sale! Here's a little something on behalf of sponsors watching; maybe a little self-maintenance is just the trick to make the lady viewers—"

[Max calmly shoves the box off the table, out of sight, with a great clatter.]


No.


[Can he get back to work now, that was a waste of his life he's not getting back. If you'll excuse him, he'll be going back to his next line of work: shoving non-perishable cans of food into one of the supply closets with the grim expression of a man who's Lumberjack Slam arrived to his table at Denny's cold. All while continuing — such a rebel — to smell like a sweaty human car engine.]

opennn

[pneumo]

Who: Sascha
Broadcast: n/a
Action: FS Starlight
When: Throughout Feb

a) everybody wants to be a cat

[ Which in this case refers to the act of just being incredibly lazy and needy on Sascha's part. His victim? You! If you sit still enough in one place that is anyway; you may just want a break from all the walking, or maybe you've danced your heart out at one of the clubs and need a break. Maybe you're drunk and hell and can't stand. Regardless of the reason, as soon as anyone holds still long enough they'll find themselves with a very attention-seeking vampire draped across their shoulders or their lap (unless they smack him away first).

Love him. ]

b) workin'

[ It's not that he particularly needs money or food or anything like that, but rather the nature of the work in this particular case which has drawn Sascha's attention. After all, what better place for a vampire to work than in a meat shop?? There's plenty of lovely, tender steaks and cuts of meat, the smell of animal blood is everywhere and the absolute best part? Is that they let him have all extra they don't package or sell. He gets a full bag of miscellaneous life form blood at the end of the day and it is wonderful.

The only thing that might be a little off-putting is that he tends to get...distracted. By everything. He's a wolf in a sheep pen alright?? It's hard to stay focused!

Anyone going to take a gander or trying to get some service will wind up faced with Sascha: blood smeared all over his mouth and chin, and a half-eaten piece of raw meat in one hand. ]

...'err-ow. Www'wum 'oo er thhh'ore!

[ Nailed it. ]

c) yeah he totally got fired

[ Because seriously who would keep an employee like that, let's be honest.

What it means of course that the best way to deal with this situation is to go and drown his woes...and since he can't actually drink alcohol and didn't actually make any real money, his version of 'drinking your woes away' is actually just wandering around the neighbouring ships. Forget the SS Golden, Sascha's more interested in checking out the other docked ships he hasn't a had a chance to explore.

So whether you're training, read, mixing chemicals, sleeping or just keeping to yourself? You are very suddenly not doing it alone. ]