A WORD FROM YOUR SPONSORS: TREAT YO' SELF (or don't)

[theroadwarrior]

Who: Max Rockatansky
Broadcast: Fleetwide
Action: SS Starstruck
When: Lately, idk. Today??

[The feed opens up rather oddly, but then, Max almost never posts anything. So that in of itself is weird. The video catches Max wandering back and forth in the cargo bay of the Starstruck — apparently working on some minor damages to one of the shuttles. Likely a piloting gig, considering how much he'd been out of the ship and making chips on the side. He looks like an oil monkey right about now, black grease on his forehead and a general unkempt-ness about him from his time without bothering to trim his hair at all, in any way. Who has time for that crap? Not Max.

He makes a confused sort of sound off the screen, and then stops in front of the table that the feed is streaming from with a... box? It appears to be a new arrival, a confusing thing that Max can't figure out the original delivery time on. The label on it, if you turn your head, appears to say:

TO: MEATHEAD
BUTCHER
MR. SURVIVALIST
PILOT TWO
FOOL
POUTYLIPS

FROM: YOUR SPECIAL SPONSOR!

Max clicks the metallic locks on either side and with a HISSS, the box opens. What could be inside...?! Hell if he knows. He stares unimpressed at the giftbasket crammed full of... particular hygienic products. Shaving cream, razors, body spray, shampoos —]



[The name, of course, is actually just generic, changed just slightly from their Earth counterpart. XES is clearly more sensual than AXE. Not that Max is familiar with any of them anyway, but still. He continues his unimpressed stare as an electronic voice emits from said box. It kind of sounds like SIRI. Also something he is not familiar with.]

"Congratulations on your sponsor gift! Mysterious quiet type, what a sale! Here's a little something on behalf of sponsors watching; maybe a little self-maintenance is just the trick to make the lady viewers—"

[Max calmly shoves the box off the table, out of sight, with a great clatter.]


No.


[Can he get back to work now, that was a waste of his life he's not getting back. If you'll excuse him, he'll be going back to his next line of work: shoving non-perishable cans of food into one of the supply closets with the grim expression of a man who's Lumberjack Slam arrived to his table at Denny's cold. All while continuing — such a rebel — to smell like a sweaty human car engine.]

Comments

audio;

[sylphystia]

[wtf, no one told him about this.]

Someone sent you... soap?

[He is so boggled.]

They must be insulting you.

audio;

[theroadwarrior]

[Hrmph. Max grumbles unintelligibly to himself for a moment.]

Waste of resources. What a useless drop-off.

[He gives no shits about people focusing on his hygiene.

It's better than its been in years.

BUT TO WASTE A CHANCE FOR DECENT SUPPLIES, THE STUPIDITY.]

audio;

[sylphystia]

Yeah. Everything about what these people do is unhelpful.

[A dry snort.]

Typical.

action »

[mucked]

[ peggy elizabeth carter is a damned well-poised lady -- but when this broadcast begins, she can barely keep herself from speed-walking down the corridor from her quarters to the cargo bay. and there she stands, arms crossed and one shoulder leaning into the door-frame.

oh, blimey. but this is rich. ]

They're not wrong, you know. [ she looks a little too smug. ]

action »

[theroadwarrior]

[Max, quite unlike his usual character, looks like a confused kid after being lectured for playing in mud.

Only its grease and oil today.]

Not wrong about what? I don't care about viewers.

[That was your point right.]

action »

[mucked]

But you care about doing what needs to be done, don't you? [ surviving. ] I'm not fond of playing their rules. And when I can afford not to, I do my best to be the fly in their ointment. But viewers bring ratings. And ratings bring credits. Credits fund an awful lot of things.

[ like long term insubordination. ]

action

[resnipstance]

[Ahsoka pops her head in after seeing the broadcast.]

Hey! Uh. If you're not gonna use that, can I have it?

action

[theroadwarrior]

[Without skipping a beat, he puts out one of his heavily calloused hands palm-up.]

Five chips a bottle.

action

[resnipstance]

What! No fair!

You know I don't have any money. I spent it all restocking the ship with food in Arslae!

[ video ]

[beardstrokes]

[ There is a great disturbance in the Force, as Obi-Wan strokes his beard. ]

Laying a little thick, aren't they?

[ video ]

[theroadwarrior]

[Have a grumble, as he toes the fallen supplies aggressively.]

Useless.

Re: [ video ]

[beardstrokes]

Well, not entirely.

I'm sure you could trade it in for something else you'd find useful.

audio.

[goodjob]

[She is clearly holding back laughter.] Yeah, the dirty hipster thing does better for the ladies anyway.

audio.

[theroadwarrior]

[He would look more pissy if not for the fact that he's not sure what a hipster is. So instead he just raises an eyebrow at her, the lines in his forehead suggesting he has no clue what she's going on about.]

video?? lets video yes.

[goodjob]

[A beat.]

Please fucking tell me they got ladies on your planet, Conan.

video;

[ino]

[ She's totally ignoring whatever it is he's actually gotten, and -- ]

Oh, hey! It's you again! How're you doing?

video;

[theroadwarrior]

[Oh. You. He is approximately 1% less grouchy-looking than before. Good!]

Using that, ahm. Medicine.

video;

[grounds]

[Octavia has no idea who this guy is, but--]

Oh, can I call dibs on the shampoo?

video;

[theroadwarrior]

[He grunts an unimpressed noise.

Yes, sometimes he responds in grunts. He's a work in progress.]

Barter if you want something.

Nothing's free.

[mikangirl]

[Dude I am not saying anything I am just l a u g h ing at your expense.]

[theroadwarrior]

[You're so fucking rude, Nami, omg.]

sorry. harassment. and video

[bigvessel]

[He was kind enough not to turn the video on until he was done laughing. Mostly. There's still a stray chuckle, and he doesn't even care if it makes his freaking busted lip hurt.]

You know, since I'm guessing those objects are all foreign to you, I could lend a hand. You look seriously scruffy, man.

harassing video

[theroadwarrior]

[uGH.

He stares back with that good ol' bloomin' bruise and scab on his cheek. How's that lip feeling?

also KEEP UR HANDS TO URSELF BRO]

Who cares?

[forgetyourusedtobe]

[Elena tries to smile a little. But only a little. She's worried that smiling any more than that, she's going to think he's laughing at him rather than just the general situation.]

Well, that's a little rude of them, huh?

[theroadwarrior]

[Scoff.]

Don't care about rudeness; I just want things I actually need.