Cheese Sandwich (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
preformthisneigh) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
driftfleet2015-12-21 10:46 pm
preformthisneigh) wrote in driftfleet2015-12-21 10:46 pm
Entry tags:
003 - Weasel Stomping Day
Who: Cheese Sandwich and YOU
Broadcast: Fleetwide
Action: Bishop
When: Tonight!
[Cheese appears on the video feed, BEAMING excitedly. He's in the Bishop's cargo hold, which has been decorated with paper chains and vaguely Christmasy (but not TOO Christmasy) decorations, tinsel, little lights, you know the drill. There's also a single card behind him, because ALLEN remembered and now he is the best. Good job, Allen.]
Happy Hearthswarming Eve everypony! This is a special holiday where I come from where we celebrate the founding of our country. We have this big feast the day after and raise the flag of Equestria BUT tonight is even more important, because it's when we get together and have parents to tell the story. I'm the only pony here so ...uh you just got me, but hey, we work with what we got.
Okay! So a long, long time ago, the three pony tribes lived in an uneasy peace. None of them liked the others, but they had to work together to survive. The unicorns raised the sun and moon, the pegasi controlled the weather and the Earth ponies grew the crops. The unicorns and pegasi demanded more and more food from the Earth ponies for their services, more than the Earth ponies could afford to give without starving themselves, and so the three tribes started to bicker and fight over who had more right to the food.
[He grabs some cotton wool which make an interesting fake snow and starts spreading it about him.]
As they argued more and more, a magical storm started to gather. It got worse and worse, until they realised they had to hold a summit, to try and garner a peace between their tribes. The three leaders of the tribes got together, along with their three advisors.
[They all had names, but that's not important in the telling, not when he wants to make it easy for other species to understand.]
They didn't find peace, though, they only argued more, and it was decided that the three tribes would split up, and find their own land away from the others. And so, they all set off on a treacherous journey, and soon they escaped the deadly storm.
One day, they found a perfect place, good food, good water, it was the best possible land ever. Unfortunately they all found it at the same time, and as they fought over who got bagises on the new land, the magical storm came again, forcing them to all hide in a cave to avoid it. They kept fighting, and the storm followed them inside, freezing the three leaders in ice, and threatening to do the same to the advisors!
DUN DUN DUN! For the kids, don't worry, this is the scariest part. He picks up a stick, with a carboard cut-out of a strange horse-like creatures
One of the advisors suddenly realised what was causing the storm. Windigos! Magical creatures that thrived on hatred and anger! The three advisors huddled together and admitted they never disliked one another, and they would rather be friends and equals. The unicorn advisor suddenly let out a burst of magic, which formed a heart, we call it the Fire of Friendship. It shot the windigos away and as the three got closer and began to tell stories and sing song through the night, the snow and ice melted away.
Soon the three leaders melted, too, and learned what had caused the storm. They decided they were stronger together, and decided they would live in the new land equally. They called it Equestria and it still stands to this day.
And that's how Equestria came to be. Thank you, thank you, don't forget to tip your waiter.
[Bishop Crew]
Hey guys! Look under your beds and then come meet me in the cargo bay! Another tradition this time of year is that everypony living together that day puts their own little hoof-made doll of themselves on the hearth to signify togetherness and all that good stuff. We haven't got a hearth but hey, we can make do with some...boxes or something, right?
[And sure enough, under their beds will be a little crocheted doll of themselves. It's not a bad likeness actually.]
Broadcast: Fleetwide
Action: Bishop
When: Tonight!
[Cheese appears on the video feed, BEAMING excitedly. He's in the Bishop's cargo hold, which has been decorated with paper chains and vaguely Christmasy (but not TOO Christmasy) decorations, tinsel, little lights, you know the drill. There's also a single card behind him, because ALLEN remembered and now he is the best. Good job, Allen.]
Happy Hearthswarming Eve everypony! This is a special holiday where I come from where we celebrate the founding of our country. We have this big feast the day after and raise the flag of Equestria BUT tonight is even more important, because it's when we get together and have parents to tell the story. I'm the only pony here so ...uh you just got me, but hey, we work with what we got.
Okay! So a long, long time ago, the three pony tribes lived in an uneasy peace. None of them liked the others, but they had to work together to survive. The unicorns raised the sun and moon, the pegasi controlled the weather and the Earth ponies grew the crops. The unicorns and pegasi demanded more and more food from the Earth ponies for their services, more than the Earth ponies could afford to give without starving themselves, and so the three tribes started to bicker and fight over who had more right to the food.
[He grabs some cotton wool which make an interesting fake snow and starts spreading it about him.]
As they argued more and more, a magical storm started to gather. It got worse and worse, until they realised they had to hold a summit, to try and garner a peace between their tribes. The three leaders of the tribes got together, along with their three advisors.
[They all had names, but that's not important in the telling, not when he wants to make it easy for other species to understand.]
They didn't find peace, though, they only argued more, and it was decided that the three tribes would split up, and find their own land away from the others. And so, they all set off on a treacherous journey, and soon they escaped the deadly storm.
One day, they found a perfect place, good food, good water, it was the best possible land ever. Unfortunately they all found it at the same time, and as they fought over who got bagises on the new land, the magical storm came again, forcing them to all hide in a cave to avoid it. They kept fighting, and the storm followed them inside, freezing the three leaders in ice, and threatening to do the same to the advisors!
DUN DUN DUN! For the kids, don't worry, this is the scariest part. He picks up a stick, with a carboard cut-out of a strange horse-like creatures
One of the advisors suddenly realised what was causing the storm. Windigos! Magical creatures that thrived on hatred and anger! The three advisors huddled together and admitted they never disliked one another, and they would rather be friends and equals. The unicorn advisor suddenly let out a burst of magic, which formed a heart, we call it the Fire of Friendship. It shot the windigos away and as the three got closer and began to tell stories and sing song through the night, the snow and ice melted away.
Soon the three leaders melted, too, and learned what had caused the storm. They decided they were stronger together, and decided they would live in the new land equally. They called it Equestria and it still stands to this day.
And that's how Equestria came to be. Thank you, thank you, don't forget to tip your waiter.
[Bishop Crew]
Hey guys! Look under your beds and then come meet me in the cargo bay! Another tradition this time of year is that everypony living together that day puts their own little hoof-made doll of themselves on the hearth to signify togetherness and all that good stuff. We haven't got a hearth but hey, we can make do with some...boxes or something, right?
[And sure enough, under their beds will be a little crocheted doll of themselves. It's not a bad likeness actually.]
no subject
The Fire of Friendship?
[ SORRY THAT IS LITERALLY THE ONLY THING HE FINDS RIDICULOUS ]
no subject
...Made because of friendship.
[There's a significant pause, because Cheese was NOT good at friendship for a longass time, he's still getting to grips with it. ]
It's a legit magical force on my world, we find it better to not question it.
[Or it will literally kick your ass. ]
no subject
Friendship is a magical force. That does... something.
[ holy shit han didn't think he could find something more ridiculous than the force but it has happened ]
You've got to be kidding me.
no subject
[He nods, solemnly. He's heard of some shit, man. ]
The six mares who protect our borders use it all the time. It's like...their weapon of choice. Works every time.
no subject
... remind me to never go to the pony planet.
[ leia and luke are also banned from going there. ]
Can you use this ... magic friendship?
[ god this is so stupid can he lock this conversation what if leia or luke (or even worse, chewbacca) shows up and sees this stupidity ]
no subject
[He shakes his head. ]
Oh...no. I'm not connected to the Elements of Harmony or any of the other magical artefacts that filter that sorta magic.
[He is, but he doesn't know it yet. Still can't use the magic though. Probably.]
no subject
god, han wishes luke were here, because then han could prove why the force initially sounded so goddamn ridiculous. ]
So you're ruled over by these pony things that can kill you with friendship and some of you can't even fight back with the same thing?
[ DIDN'T HE LITERALLY JUST GO THROUGH A TRILOGY ABOUT THIS ]
That sounds like a crock, kid.
[ are you a kid. are you like 1,000 years old. what are you, actually. ]
no subject
Well, they'd never turn that on us. They're here to protect us, and they do! One of them is my best friend, and I know she'd never, ever hurt anypony that wasn't attacking Equestria first.
no subject
Still a pretty huge imbalance of power.
[ but you know, whatever. not his planet. it might not even be his galaxy. ]
Who's your friend? Is she here?
no subject
But it's kept safe.
[The worrying thing is the all-consuming faith Equestrian's have in their most powerful. At the question, his ears fold back a little. ]
No. I'm the only pony here. But she needs to be in Ponyville anyway, that's her home.
no subject
Your home too, isn't it?
no subject
[He shakes his head. Nope. Not him. ]
My home is wherever I lay my head down that night. I'm a drifter, I love the open road too much to settle down anywhere.
no subject
I know the feeling.
{ though han considers the falcon his home, more than anything. but that's not a stable thing -- transient... ]
Much better than being tied down to one spot for too long, right?
no subject
Herds, that's what the humans call them. Equestrian's don't use that word, but the feeling is still there, probably. He's never been the type. ]
Yeah, I don't think I could ever stick to one place. Not when there's a whole world to explore. Hay, there's a whole universe to explore now.
no subject
[ more like being guided.
where's the falcon man :( ]
no subject
Ugh, yeah. I mean, this is better than the last place I was at, but unless you find a good sized planet, it can be a little dull on the 'picking where you wanna roam' thing.
no subject
'cause if it's worse than this ice bucket, I'm quitting.
[ he's joking.
maybe. ]
no subject
Every month something horrible would happen, it was awful.
no subject
-- something important, like what?
{ morbidly curious. ]
no subject
Like me? It made it so I could never, ever travel past the castle grounds alone. It sucked. A whole world out there, and I couldn't even explore it.
no subject
-- seriously.
How do you even enforce that? You physically couldn't move past the gates?
no subject
[His ears flick back. ]
I hated it.