driftfleet | 003 - Weasel Stomping Day

Who: Cheese Sandwich and YOU
Broadcast: Fleetwide
Action: Bishop
When: Tonight!

[Cheese appears on the video feed, BEAMING excitedly. He's in the Bishop's cargo hold, which has been decorated with paper chains and vaguely Christmasy (but not TOO Christmasy) decorations, tinsel, little lights, you know the drill. There's also a single card behind him, because ALLEN remembered and now he is the best. Good job, Allen.]

Happy Hearthswarming Eve everypony! This is a special holiday where I come from where we celebrate the founding of our country. We have this big feast the day after and raise the flag of Equestria BUT tonight is even more important, because it's when we get together and have parents to tell the story. I'm the only pony here so ...uh you just got me, but hey, we work with what we got.

Okay! So a long, long time ago, the three pony tribes lived in an uneasy peace. None of them liked the others, but they had to work together to survive. The unicorns raised the sun and moon, the pegasi controlled the weather and the Earth ponies grew the crops. The unicorns and pegasi demanded more and more food from the Earth ponies for their services, more than the Earth ponies could afford to give without starving themselves, and so the three tribes started to bicker and fight over who had more right to the food.

[He grabs some cotton wool which make an interesting fake snow and starts spreading it about him.]

As they argued more and more, a magical storm started to gather. It got worse and worse, until they realised they had to hold a summit, to try and garner a peace between their tribes. The three leaders of the tribes got together, along with their three advisors.

[They all had names, but that's not important in the telling, not when he wants to make it easy for other species to understand.]

They didn't find peace, though, they only argued more, and it was decided that the three tribes would split up, and find their own land away from the others. And so, they all set off on a treacherous journey, and soon they escaped the deadly storm.

One day, they found a perfect place, good food, good water, it was the best possible land ever. Unfortunately they all found it at the same time, and as they fought over who got bagises on the new land, the magical storm came again, forcing them to all hide in a cave to avoid it. They kept fighting, and the storm followed them inside, freezing the three leaders in ice, and threatening to do the same to the advisors!

DUN DUN DUN! For the kids, don't worry, this is the scariest part. He picks up a stick, with a carboard cut-out of a strange horse-like creatures

One of the advisors suddenly realised what was causing the storm. Windigos! Magical creatures that thrived on hatred and anger! The three advisors huddled together and admitted they never disliked one another, and they would rather be friends and equals. The unicorn advisor suddenly let out a burst of magic, which formed a heart, we call it the Fire of Friendship. It shot the windigos away and as the three got closer and began to tell stories and sing song through the night, the snow and ice melted away.

Soon the three leaders melted, too, and learned what had caused the storm. They decided they were stronger together, and decided they would live in the new land equally. They called it Equestria and it still stands to this day.

And that's how Equestria came to be. Thank you, thank you, don't forget to tip your waiter.

[Bishop Crew]

Hey guys! Look under your beds and then come meet me in the cargo bay! Another tradition this time of year is that everypony living together that day puts their own little hoof-made doll of themselves on the hearth to signify togetherness and all that good stuff. We haven't got a hearth but hey, we can make do with some...boxes or something, right?

[And sure enough, under their beds will be a little crocheted doll of themselves. It's not a bad likeness actually.]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Huh, I can bet it does. I guess you never have to worry about misplacing a book or forgetting part of it, though.

[A smile. He points to the cheese-sandwich-accordion mark on his flank.]

When a pony discovers his or her place in the world, they get a cutie mark on their flank. It's to show they know their true talent and what their destiny is.

Most people in my world don't know how to read, anyway. [There was little need when you're literally fighting for water.]

[She's not sure she even understands what she's looking at when he shows off his mark.]

That's interesting ... is it sort of, predetermined? [Almost absently, she reaches up to rub the back of her neck, fingers brushing over Immortan Joe's brand. If her world operated like that, would this be her mark? Or would it be something else?]

Yeah? How does anypony read the histories written on them?

[He's not being pedantic, he honestly wants to know. Literacy rates are pretty much 100% in Equestria so not being ABLE to read comes across as strange to him. ]

Huh huh. It just appears and never changes. It's part of who we are.

They know, and their students know. They are the teachers for the caged. [It was supposed to be a mark of privilege, but talking about it like they are is leaving her with a sour feeling. She wanted to shut this part of the conversation down.]

Do you ever wish it was something else? What does it mean?

The...caged? Are they literal cages?

Never, it's really important to me. It's who I am.

[A pause.]

It's pretty abstract, but mine means my destiny is to go around, throwing parties and making everypony happy. I do it a lot with my accordion, so.

[She pauses, indecisive for a moment.] Pretty cages, fancy cages, filled with luxury and the idea that it's keeping the harsh world from getting in.

[but the price is too high. that part, she keeps to herself.]

You ever get tired, serving everyone else like that?

...So. Actual cages.

Why would anypony want that?

[Sounds crazy. He snorts softly at her question, shaking his head.]

Of course not. It was what I was born to do. I love it, making everypony else happy.

It's not like they had a choice.

[She looks at him curiously for a moment, a small smile ghosting on her face.] You are a rare being indeed.

So they were trapped?

[That's...awful. AT her comment, he laughs, it's a fond, almost melancholy sort of noise.]

There's somepony who does it much better than me. I learned everything I know from her.

[She understands friendship in a way he never will. He might be getting more used to having them between Paradisa and here, but it doesn't make up for years of having nothing. She'll always have the jump on him with this, and he doesn't mind that one bit. ]

They were. But, they aren't anymore.

[But they had their voice, and with that they ensured their excape by convinced Furiosa to take them on her escape.]

[She tilts her head slightly at his comment, thinking back to the hazy memories from the recalibrations.]

She was pink?

They escaped? Then that's great! I'm happy for them.

[That much is evident on his face, the happiness only growing at the mention of that colour. ]

Yeah! Her name's Pinkie Pie. She's the best there is.

[Furiosa can only hope that things are still going well for the Wives in her absence. A regime has just fallen; trying to instill something else in the vaccuum can't be easy. She nods with Cheese, though, happy that that chapter of the conversation is over.]

Sounds like you really respect her.

[From the ashes, etc. ]

I really do. My life would be completely different if I'd never have met her.

[He'd still be quiet and alone, barely existing on the fringes of everything. ]

I owe her everything.