driftfleet | ᴏᴏ1 : ᴠɪᴅᴇᴏ

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ᴏᴏ1 : ᴠɪᴅᴇᴏ

Who: Han Solo [

falconing] and YOU.
Broadcast: Network-wide!
Action: The Huntress.
When: Now!

[ han solo, on board the huntress, has had a tumultuous week. nothing in comparison to his friends (though, really, if his long-lost family showed up here, han probably wouldn't be able to recognize them, let alone marginally care), but tiring all the same. he's been collecting information from passerby and explored arslae quite a bit. now, he's ready to talk on the network.

of sorts, anyway.

han is sitting at his pilot station in the huntress, and there are some missing panels and things being rearranged and han setting up his chair just the way he likes it. there's no chewbacca here (annoyingly, and, if han admits it, depressingly), so han is doing the work on his own. with some interruptions.

after a moment or two of thinking, han decides to speak.

(if he were smart, he would've figured out what he wanted to say beforehand, but that shit isn't for corellian smugglers.) ]

So I guess I've been assigned to the Huntress, and I've met most of you on board so far... but greetings, salutations, whatever. I'm Han Solo, your new pilot. I'd apologize for the mess, but you'll thank me later.

[ probably. if he doesn't blow up the ship first. ]

I've got a few questions about this Fleet -- one, how many people around here have actually set foot off planet before coming here? Two, any of you know how to fly a ship before getting here? Second part -- who here is a pilot? And three, if any of you have seen a Wookiee by the name of Chewbacca -- he's tall, furry, growls a lot, might've threatened to kill you once or twice -- steer him in my direction. He's harmless. Mostly.

[ han seems to be ready to leave it there, but he glances toward his station before resettling his focus on the camera with a grin, eyes bright. to those who know han solo, esteemed general of the rebellion and captain of the millennium falcon, you can almost be guaranteed what is about to come out of his mouth is no good. ]

So who wants to test out how fast these buckets of bolts can go?

[ confirmed. ]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Seems to me like they were probably just trying to streamline everything, as invasive and gross as it is.

[ She gestures at him through the camera. ]

You must have noticed by asking what you did that most of the people here have never been to space before. On top of that, I'd say the majority of people here have never learned another language, or typed on a communicator, or used a video-recording device. It's not exactly entertaining to watch people struggle with that type of thing for too long, so they probably just wanted to skip it entirely by providing us with all of that information beforehand.

[ She waves a hand to the space off-camera. ]

You know. For the audience.

The audience.

[ it's repeated -- sometimes, han forgets, and he tilts back in his chair with a sigh. ]

Do we get fanmail?

[ it's half-serious. ]

Maybe. They made it sound like we do, anyways.

[ She realizes that probably sounds confusing, so she goes back to clarify. ]

Occasionally Atroma pops in to check on us -- or more accurately, to irritate us all further. They've read some supposed fan mail out loud to us before.

But considering this show of theirs is supposed to be broadcast all over the universe and we have yet to run into anyone on any planet or moon we've stopped at that recognizes us or has even heard of Atroma ... I wouldn't be surprised if it was total bullshit.

[ . . . great. ]

I mean, the tech on this planet doesn't seem to be very advanced. Someone told me all the stops are like this -- so either it's total bullshit or they're purposefully dropping us off at places where the show's not able to be seen.

[ surely someone would be upset with a bunch of people being kidnapped and dropped on planet and try to get them out of the fleet, if they were put somewhere where it was actually viewed. ]

Atroma's the person in charge, right?

Both are popular theories. Unfortunately we're too in the dark to really prove one way or the other.

That's right, they're the ones who brought us here.

{ he literally just got done assisting in the defeat of a supreme overlord, and now he comes back to this actual bullshit -- ]

They're the same people who installed these augments?

Supposedly, yes.

[ Since it's not like anyone was awake for that to confirm ]

[ there's a silence. ]

This whole thing is a scam.

[ it takes one to know one, after all, and he's had this conversation with leia already, but -- ]

There's no way in hell that many people watch this go down on holo-serial or whatever the hell they're using and not do something about it. People don't work that way.

Pretty much.

Unfortunately, there's not a whole lot we can do to stop it at this point in time without, you know, throwing ourselves out the airlock or something equally pointless and destructive.

I'm not dying on an even dumber version of Hoth.

[ fuck that ]

Pass. But thanks for the information.

No idea what Hoth is, but yeah, no problem. If we learn anything new that might be helpful I'll be sure to let you know!

[ Pause. She realizes she hasn't actually introduced herself. ]

I'm Ino, by the way! Captain of the Three Twins, if you need anything.

Hoth's an even bigger ice bucket than this one. You don't want to visit.

[ fuck that planet, okay. han hopes the empire nuked it. ]

Han Solo, pilot on the Huntress. [ usually a captain, recently a general. but ah well. ] Pleasure's mine, Captain. Thanks.

[ She laughs ]

Noted. Just "Ino" is fine, really.

How are you liking it? I've heard these ships kind of suck compared to the spaceships people who are used to flying them have.

They're not built for the same things.

[ which is

a delicate way of saying yeah it's actual garbage ]

But I gotta say, I miss my ship. The Falcon's a hell of a lot nicer than these tubs. This is bearable, though, so long as nobody comes along to try and kill us.

[ Her smile vanishes, and she leans in a little in interest ]

What do you think could be done to improve them? We have a lot of engineers who could build stuff and make improvements if they knew what we needed and if we could find the parts or make them somehow.

... We've also definitely been attacked twice and we were really lucky nobody died either time, so anything you could suggest would be awesome.

[ ... hm. ]

I'd need to tear mine apart more to figure out what the hell's actually wrong with them, but speed is an issue.

[ han is used to the falcon, who can outrun practically anything without straining too badly. but these... ]

There's no warp drive, either -- no way to jump to light speed, nothing. There's no way to really outrun anything -- and some of these ships don't even have basic weaponry.

[ ... Ino just stares dumbly for a moment. SHE DOESN'T KNOW WHAT MOST OF THAT MEANS, whoops. But she at least gets the last part. ]

... Is, um ... a "warp drive" something that you could tell someone how to put together? Though, even if you did ... if you go too far off course these ships will autopilot back to be near the Marsiva. Nobody's found a way to override that ...

I could probably patch one together, but I doubt the materials are lying around a salt planet.

[ -- though, maybe. it seems to be a trade hub. ]

And if this Atroma can drag ships back, I doubt I could hit light speed anyway.

[ She sighs. Thwarted again -- probably, anyways. ]

No, you'll probably have to wait for a different waystation or something for everything you'd need. It wouldn't hurt to teach the engineers how to make one anyways, just in case it might actually work.

Though, if we do have any parts laying around that would be handy, Hiro will probably know about it.

[ that's a name he hasn't heard yet ]

Hiro?

Hiro Hamada. He's one of the only engineers in the Fleet who was actually an engineer before he got here. He's incredibly smart and can build just about anything from scratch.

I don't know if you've been on the Bishop at all, but he's made a ton of modifications to it already. I'm sure if we have anything useful, he's probably hoarding it. Just tell him I sent you and he might be willing to share.

[ sounds like luke ]

Thanks for the info.

[ again. hm. ]

Are you always this helpful to new people, or do you really just want to get the hell out of here?

[ She doesn't usually get asked that, so there's a moment where she looks surprised. But then she lets out a little laugh, her smile a little weary. ]

I don't like being anyone's toy to play with, anyways. And the more people we have informed and working together, the better the chances of everyone going back to where they want to be are.

[ Whether that's their own world or someone else's. She'll leave that up for interpretation. ]

Buuut ... I've been here -- and a place like it before that -- for years. I could probably give the introduction speech in my sleep by now.

[ years? ]

... right.

[ god leia is going to be unhappy ]

You should get paid for it, it was good. Put in for a paycheck from whoever the hell is watching this stupid show.

[ She notices his reaction, and she puts on a reassuring smile. ]

Don't worry -- you'll be out of here in a few months, more than likely. That's how it generally works.

[ LMAO, Han ... ]

We all get paychecks from them -- didn't you know that?

ᴏᴏ1 : ᴠɪᴅᴇᴏ

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