duck tales, oo-ooh!

[frigidaire]

Who: Crew & Visitors of the Wonderduck
Action: The Wonderduck
When: a mingle for the month of January!

[ come one, come all, crew members and visitors alike. come play terrible rec-room games or eat awful, overly processed food! or just mingle! ]

Comments

[feathery]

[Hello, Wonderducks. This is your captain speaking. No, really, he won't shut up. There is a 50/50 chance at any given time that, whatever room or hall Davesprite is sitting in or walking down, he's talking. Probably to his nearest victim, though the fact he mumbles sometimes doesn't help the elaborate bullshit he's spewing. If he is understandable, though, he's curious, because:]

What are you doing. [Is it important? Can he come with? Does this guy ever sleep? (No, not really.)

Eventually, he picks up Salt Planet Disease. And...doesn't realize it. While it's already uncharacteristic he's spending this much time on the ship—Arslae is Too Cold—it's even weirder when he's rummaging around the kitchen in a tank top instead of a hoodie (everyone has probably heard him complain profusely about frostbite). When he starts sneezing—and it's strangely soundless, like bird sneezes—it sparks. For the more unlucky in his vicinity, it might leave tiny orange laser graffiti or watermarks on the nearest surface. A lot of this is onomatopoetic permutations of sneezing, curse words, and caw.

Later, he gets stuck halfway phased through in a door. Being sick with powers is hell.]

[frigidaire]

[ Salt Planet Disease is not fun by any stretch of the imagination and Isaac, too, is feeling under the weather. he's just been on the planet trying to find some cure for it (which he found, but it's pretty gross), when he walks past a door with about half of a Davesprite in it.

he completely walks past at first, but pauses, retraces his steps and stares a moment, a few sniffles in tow. Isaac's not looking too hot either, pale and racoon-eyed, never mind the way when he sneezes? his eyes go a bit too close to amber. ]

... You didn't tell me you were also some kind of weird X-man, Davesprite.

[feathery]

[Davesprite has been trying to pull himself out of the wall for several minutes now, to no avail and to his growing panic. So, of course, he goes completely slack when Isaac walks by. Like nope, nothing to see here, folks. This is 100% where the birdsprite wants to be. It isn't even a conscious response, just him not knowing what the fuck else to do (and also maybe trying not to freak out).

On the upside—can this even be considered an upside?—he has most of his torso and part of a wing sticking out, so it's a little less futile than it could be. On the downside, the jarring stop from getting stuck means he basically winded himself with a sneeze.]

Yeah, well. Surprise. [It's strained.] Who would have figured ghostbirds could do ghostly shit.

[frigidaire]

I wouldn't exactly call this ghostly shit. But whatever, Bird Boy. That's your X-man name right? But I don't know about this --pretty sure you're a useless super hero if you're stuck in a door.

[ but whatever, details. who needs them. he examines his friend, the
way he's stuck in the door and shrugs. ] I mean I can try to help
you out. Give me your hand. [ he holds out one of his, but not before giving the exposed wind a poke. ] Why didn't you just open the door like a normal person?

[feathery]

Good thing I'm not a fucking hero, super or not. [It's disgruntled, but he feels too shitty to mask it.]

And who said anything about being stuck. Maybe this is exactly where I'm supposed to be. Dictated by some nonsense preordained horseshit— [He mercifully cuts himself off with a cough and covers his mouth with an arm, before slumping in the door.]

Quit poking me, dude. [Is he half talking over Isaac? He's half talking over Isaac.] This taxidermied specimen is display only. Do not touch. A museum curator is gonna show up to tell you to step off any minute now.

[The hand offer gets a blank look, like he's trying to figure out what to do with it, before he looks back up at Isaac.] Oh my god, I'm actually stuck in a fucking door.

[frigidaire]

Right, so you're supposed to be stuck halfway in a door, whatever, you do what you want.

[ because Isaac could sit and watch him flail like this for days it's so funny. in fact, he's trying not to laugh right now, honestly. ] No one's going to show up and tell me to go away. Maybe Jade, but I think she'd get popcorn and join me. Could be fun to watch.

[ he drops his hand back down, stuffing both into pockets. ] Yes, yes we've established the fact that you're stuck in a door. But go on, stay there. Be our loyal watchbird.

[feathery]

[Davesprite flips him the bird. He can tell what you're thinking, Isaac, it's written all over your goddamn face!!!]

Come here, dude. I'm going to fucking sneeze in your face.

[Like it would do anything when Isaac is already sick. But it would still be gross, at least.]

[frigidaire]

Yeah, let me just do that.

[ seriously, do you think he's stupid, Davesprite? Isaac finally throws up his hands in defeat. ] Fine, stay there, I was going to try to help, but you seem pretty cozy.

[ and isaac is the one to actually sneeze, burying his face into his elbow, but he almost looks a touch hairier than he did before, his teeth a bit sharper... and then it fades away. ]

Shit.

[feathery]

[Davesprite would have left out what he was going to do if he thought Isaac would actually fall for it, tbh.

He's about to protest Isaac leaving him to the door's fickle whims when the dude sneezes and he leans back well as he can. Which isn't very well at all, since this is kind of fucking up his ability to breathe. If he needs to breathe. Who knows how much of that is necessity or psychological.]

Gross. You got wolf boogers hanging out of your nose. [Does he really, tho. Or is Davesprite just being an asshole?]

[thezerothlaw]

[Illness is vaguely alarming to Daneel in general, as he's had very little experience with it. He's pretty sure that sneezes aren't supposed to leave marks like that. Pretty sure. He looks directly at a caw, and back at his captain.]

Is this normal for you?

[feathery]

Ugh, no.

[He is so offended by the idea that he's sick that he's entertaining the idea that maybe he's allergic to Jade's fox. Never mind the fact he was surrounded by who knows how many of the little assholes at the pet shop.]

I mean which part. 'Cause the fireworks are within the realm of reason, I guess. Normal for my feathery freakshow.

[thezerothlaw]

The... fireworks, as you put it. I have never seen a sneeze leave a visible mark. Is this something I should be concerned about?

[feathery]

Uh. [The long blank look says it all.] Maybe. I mean I'm probably not gonna laserify anything too important, but you should keep precious textiles out of range. Be a shame if I fucked up a one of a kind Persian rug, or something.

[Who the fuck says things like that? This kid, apparently.]

Also maybe if I'm contagious. I got no fucking idea.

[thezerothlaw]

I doubt very much that a robot can catch any sort of biological virus. Nor do we have any expensive rugs, to my knowledge.

[Still he hovers sort of anxiously.]

Is there anything I am able to do? I understand soup is helpful in these cases.

[feathery]

[Davesprite is not used to the semi-anxious mom hover and has no idea what to make of it. But he shrugs a little helplessly.]

I got a hefty chunk of game code floating around my brain, but that didn't preclude me from nothing. But don't worry about it, dude. I don't know if soup would do anything for me, anyway. [His existence is weird at best.]

[thezerothlaw]

[He hesitates.]

Do you eat? If you do, then perhaps it cannot hurt. It may at least ease your suffering.

[He won't assume eating. He doesn't, anyway.]

[feathery]

[His suffering. Sweet jesus, Davesprite is embarrassed by virtue of Daneel's sincerity alone.]

I can eat, but I don't have to. Probably. It's complicated. [Understatement.]

I'll be ok in a couple days, either way, unless it turns out I'm allergic to the miniaturized hellbeast.

[thebarkside]

[ newton finds davesprite first.

well - newton finds davesprite's feathers first. sorry, bro: this is one little arctic fox who is trying to scramble up the back of your legs to playfully nip at some of those feathers.

jade... is probably in earshot, but she'll likely be wandering by on her own very soon, too. ]

[feathery]

[HOLY FUCK SOMETHING IS CHEWING ON HIM oh my god he is going to get eaten alive by space rats. His reason is not bound by petty material things like doors and, coupled with the general stress of being trapped, leaves him in full bird panic mode. He is going to be so embarrassed about that later.

Jade can probably hear a very upset crow down the hall, punctuated by the unholy sounds foxes make. There is absolutely fucking nothing that is dignified about this.]

FUCKING LMFAO

[thebarkside]

-- Davesprite?

[ YEAH OKAY there aren't a lot of things on this ship capable of making distressed crow noises, so jade will be there pretty much immediately, ready to teleport whatever it is endangering davesprite into the center of the nearest sun. except the sight she discovers gives her a moment's pause, because

what the fuck. ]

Oh, Newton, no, those aren't toys--

[ but she'll hurry to scoop the energetic and eager-to-chew fox up into her arms away from davesprite. she pulls her hood to let it dangle over her shoulder, letting the little beast go for that. ]

Are you okay?

[ other than being... trapped... ]

YOURE WELCOME

[feathery]

[Here is the problem with being trapped in a closed door: one half of yourself is stuck on one side and the other on the other side.

So Jade is quite probably talking to Davesprite's ass. Just sayin'.

She gets a soft squawk in response, followed by something that sounds an awful lot like "hrnngngnngghhhh."]

If you get me out of this piece of shit, I will buy you a whole goddamn fucking zoo.

[On the other side of the door, he definitely has his face in his hands. Jesus fucking christ, what is his life.]

[thebarkside]

[ oh man. she doesn't want to laugh. she really doesn't want to laugh, because he's probably still man-sick and miserable, but this is kind of absolutely hilarious.

she phases through the wall, rounding so that she's standing in front of him. ]

I'm gonna teleport you to your room, okay?

[ at least she's not laughing.... ]

[feathery]

[He gives her a look that clearly says he is expecting her to laugh. LET'S BE REAL, Isaac probably did in that other thread. Or will. Timelines, who needs them.]

Nearest airlock works.

[It's so deadpan.]

[thebarkside]

Har har.

[ she shifts the weight of the fox in her arms, grateful that it's still occupied, before she leans forward and touches his shoulder. her powers are way more unwieldy here; hopefully caution means she won't accidentally jettison him into a black hole.

instead, she manages to successfully get him to his room - just about a foot above the bed instead of on it. jesus, that's something she really has to work on.

a half minute later, she'll just be sticking her head through the door to check on him. ]

Oh, good.

[feathery]

"Oh, good."

[There is a certain amount of sarcasm to the way he echoes her that makes it pretty clear his landing was not entirely smooth.]

Next time, I'll take the airlock. Or right next to the door, I mean what could go wrong three feet away— [Thankfully for everyone, he sneezes and yelps when he nearly phases through the bed.]

If I die tonight, it's because I suffocated in the metal depths of the ship.

[He's very grateful. Really.]