say bye to kris kringle, it's a mingle!

[geonomy]

Who: The Vanquish crew and visitors!
Broadcast: Nein?
Action: On the Vanquish lollipop, and around it maybe!
When: During the month of January

[Hey crew! It looks like there's some new changes that have come over the ship as well as a couple of new crewmates from the past shuffle or two! Have you been enjoying the planet, or is it too cold for you? Have you caught a nasty cold like your poor captain a few posts down, or are you a Vanquish member and are fine? Come along for a mingle, let the viewers see what you're up to! And also meet the tiniest, cutest crew member too!]

Comments

[stickupherforehead]

[here's Pearl, screwdriver in hand as she tries to wrestle down a large, sparking Roomba-lookin' thing. Do you even want to know what's going on?]

[timelapsed]

[ Man, okay, this is, like, a great shot. Woman wrestling with a sparking, obviously malfunctioning machine. She obviously only wants to fix the poor thing, but it resists, unable to do anything else in its broken state. It's powerful. It sends a message. It looks cool.

So, naturally, Max snags a photo. There's a click and a flash from her camera. Her teacher did tell her "Always take the shot," after all. ]

Uh, sorry. Don't let me distract you. Carry on?

[stickupherforehead]

Wha - [Pearl whips around at the flash and the sudden sound of another person speaking]

You shouldn't - [and the Roomba has tackled her from behind, little claw grips suddenly appearing and pinching at her hair! Off-balance, Pearl falls with a yelp as the screwdriver dramatically drops from her hand, only to roll to a stop at Max's feet.]

[timelapsed]

.... [ Is. Is she still alive? Did Max just watch somebody get killed by a roomba???

This is even worse than dealing with Chloe. Oh god, why?

Max kneels down to pick up the screwdriver. Maybe... maybe she can be avenged. ]

[stickupherforehead]

[as if sensing a new adversary, the roomba rolls forward (on top of Pearl) with a whirr, claws glinting menacingly in the light. The sparks are still flying out of a large, jagged crack in its exterior, even as another panel slides open, revealing a nozzle.

Watch out, Max! You might get cleaning product on you!!

(Pearl's in the background, sighing as she slowly gets up. Man, she has tracks in her hair now.)]

Take 1

[timelapsed]

[ Okay, Max, you can handle this. All of your training... has led to this moment. You've dismantle worse things than this. Be one with the screwdriver. Think of it... as an extension of the self. Feel the right moment, and-

With her internal monologue going on, the roomba scoots out of the hallway and escapes.




....Okay. Let's try that again. ]

Take 2

[timelapsed]

[ Max rewinds time to just when she picked up the screwdriver.

Right, don't waste time! She goes in for the kill, screwdriver out and-

AUGH! Cleaning chemicals! Now her arm's all wet and who knows if that stuff is meant for the fabric of her jacket! ]

Take 3

[timelapsed]

[ Okay, time has been rewound. Let's do this, Max. You got this!

Lunges forward - THEN TO THE SIDE, avoiding the cleaning chemicals! Now she can maneuver behind it, and get to a...

Power switch? Something? No? Who designed these roombas!

Okay, she has a screwdriver. Is there at least a panel to remove with the screwdriver? After a moment of searching - there is!

Unfortunately, that gives the machine time to turn. And spray her with some chemicals. ]

Take 4

[timelapsed]

[ Okay, this is getting ridiculous.

Lunge forward - then to the side! Move around, go for it!

She grabs a hold of the roomba, kneeling on it to pin it. Okay, the panel. It's near the crack, make sure you don't get sparked Max.

Panel open, and.....

Two wires. Really? Red and blue. Red... And blue.

Pick the red wire, Max, it's always the- ]

Take 5

[timelapsed]

[ It wasn't the red wire. The explosion was pretty bad, shook her up. She doesn't know why machines explode. They should be designed better.

But she's got this. Lunge forward, move to the side, grab the machine, open the panel, BLUE wire!

Success! The machine shuts down.

Breathing a bit heavy from doing that five times - even if Pearl would only see and know about the last time - she lets out a sigh of relief. ] Okay. Remind me. Not to do that again.

[stickupherforehead]

[Pearl's walking closer while feeling her hair and grimacing at the tacky engine oil stuck in it. Ugh.

She does, however, look mildly impressed at the inert roomba when she picks it up to examine it.]

That was a good job. I didn't think you'd have known to go straight for the internal power regulator.

[timelapsed]

Well, it...... seemed like the best option. [ Max Caulfield, master of lying through omission. ]

...Oh, right, I think this is yours. [ She'll hand over the screwdriver. ]

[stickupherforehead]

[have a smile as she takes the screwdriver]

Thank you. [she's going to start heading over to a table so she can set the roomba down]

I'm Pearl. What's your name?

[timelapsed]

Max Caulfield. I'm something like... the fleet photographer. [ She's heading for where she set down her camera - and photo - when the roomba attacked. ]

Do you, uh, usually have to fight with your machines like that?

[stickupherforehead]

Oh, that? [Pearl laughs nervously] That was just once!

[sweeping a small cluster of toys over to the side of the table, Pearl is already taking the roomba apart.

Pause.] Or twice. Maybe a few times? I'm trying to add a 'sort' function to these robots, but it somehow keeps triggering the 'attack' function.

[timelapsed]

Why would they even have an attack function...?

[stickupherforehead]

Why wouldn't they? I just haven't settled on a weapon just yet.

[maybe Al would let her borrow a gun.]

[timelapsed]

I am at least ninety percent sure those are just for cleaning.

[stickupherforehead]

Well - [actually no, she can't argue with that.]

But they have the potential to be so much more! Who would expect a cleaning robot to attack?

[she totally tricked them out with mini EMP bombs already.]