vid/action

[bludicrous]

Who: michael j. caboose + whoever wants to engage this mess
Broadcast: the entire fleet, unfortunately
Action: marsiva
When: now!

[there is a guy(?) in the helmet of a space marine staring into the screen. once he's certain it's on, he backs up, and yeah-- dude is in full armor. given the attire, it might look like he's about to say something serious. and then he actually starts speaking.]

I am on TV! I am on TV! Look! Ah! Hellooooooo! [cue waving his arms around like a fool]

Um!! Dearly beloved, we are gathered here today... I would like to thank the academy. And, uhhh, Church. My best friend. Without my best friend, I never would have gotten this far! I would also like to thank Taco Tuesdays. Oh, and that reminds me-- salsa. THANK YOU TO WHATEVER PLANET FOR CREATING SALSA.

The end. Closing time. Good night and good luck, America!

[if your character wants to find him in-person, it's not hard. he's the rather large pile of armor shouting at his communicator, which is placed on a nearby chair.]

Comments

text

[droprate]

Did they put your chip in wrong, or are you always like this?

continues shouting at text

[bludicrous]

Chips! Yes, that is a great idea, if only we can find something to dip them in!

continues texting at shout

[droprate]

That...is definitely not what I was talking about.

I meant the one that you'd have to cut yourself open to take it out.

[bludicrous]

Oh! That! Yeah, haha. That thing. Right. Ahh... [fondly:] I do not want to do that.

[what were they talking about again





WITH COMPLETE EARNEST:]

Are you a computer?

[droprate]

[ Well, at least something the guy's said makes sense.

Switching briefly to voice-- they sound like an average, albeit slightly hoarse, preteen human. ]

No.

[ And back. ]

Does that answer your question?

[bludicrous]

Ah. Yes! You do not sound smart enough to be a computer.

[and he honest-to-god didn't mean that as an insult, as evidenced by his rather cheerful tone]

[droprate]

Really, now.

[ He's not wrong, but... ]

Bet I still sound smarter than you, though.

[bludicrous]

[excuse you. caboose goes silent for a few seconds. he steels his expression. not that anyone can see it. but it's his serious face. because this is a serious challenge.

and then:]

...

Nuh-uh.

[droprate]

[ If it's a fight he wants, it's a fight he will get. A verbal fight. Voice only, no video, because that feels safer-- ]

You're not doing much to prove it, you know.

[bludicrous]

Oh yeah! Well! What's two plus two!

[immediately after:]

FOUR. See, I did that instantly, as if I am a calculator. Which is a tiny computer that you can not really do things on aside from push buttons. But not the fun kind of buttons! Only math-buttons. Nobody likes math-buttons.

video;

[geonomy]

[... Wow. This guy is... wow. Where does he even start with this?]

Are you... from America? [That, let's start with that, since he did mention America there.]

[flickerflash]

[APPLAUSE

That's it, that's the tag.]

video

[repths]

Salsa? Do you enjoy it that much?

[It's good to be grateful to people. This is overdoing it a little though....]

[bludicrous]

[proudly:]

No! I am from the moon.

You have a hat on that looks like the kind people wear at casinos. Oh, I want a five! And a three! And a six. And a two. That is my lucky number.

[bludicrous]

Uh! Thank you!! [does a short bow]

[bludicrous]

Well, not as much as Grif, but it is pretty good. Better than guacamole for sure. Also better than mayonnaise. And ranch... and mustard... and ketchup... and butter... [pensively:] You should not put butter on tacos.

[flickerflash]

[Well she can do with a lot of entertainment while she's sick in bed! Thank you, armored guy.]

Are you a robot pilot? Your armour's very impressive.

[Her accent places her as British. And she's probably about...nine or ten.]

[repths]

That doesn't sound very appetizing. [It makes her want to frown. Atoli can cook well. She'd never even think of any of these combinations. Salsa is the best, it's true.]

I've never tried it myself before. How about you? Do you know what butter on tacos tastes like?

[bludicrous]

Ohh, no. Just a space marine. [caboose has a limited view of what that is and what it entails, but he's heard it to describe their motley crew enough.]

You sound like a small fancy person. Do you drink tea? From a small fancy cup??? [asking the hard questions]

[bludicrous]

... Um. No. I do not. Because I would never do something so dumb! Haha! Most definitely.

[repths]

Phew. [She lets out a sigh of relief.]

I'd fear for the worst if you tried doing something like that!!

It's a waste of food, I think.

[bludicrous]

Haaaah! Uh, I mean, it wouldn't be that that bad, would it?

Not that it happened or anything! Just. Wondering.

audio;

[feathery]

[What is this and why is it Davesprite's new favorite thing.]

Dude, salsa is fucking boss. Without them, tacos would never be the same. Kind of on short supply with both here, though. It sucks.

[repths]

It'd be terrible!!! [You shouldn't commit crimes against food.]

You can still eat it but--[She briefly interrupts herself.]

-But just think about what other things you could put inside a taco!

[bludicrous]

Maybe, since we are in space, we could make salsa out of comets. They are hot, right??

[and as everyone knows, that's the only ingredient you need when you make salsa. "hot".]