vid/action

[bludicrous]

Who: michael j. caboose + whoever wants to engage this mess
Broadcast: the entire fleet, unfortunately
Action: marsiva
When: now!

[there is a guy(?) in the helmet of a space marine staring into the screen. once he's certain it's on, he backs up, and yeah-- dude is in full armor. given the attire, it might look like he's about to say something serious. and then he actually starts speaking.]

I am on TV! I am on TV! Look! Ah! Hellooooooo! [cue waving his arms around like a fool]

Um!! Dearly beloved, we are gathered here today... I would like to thank the academy. And, uhhh, Church. My best friend. Without my best friend, I never would have gotten this far! I would also like to thank Taco Tuesdays. Oh, and that reminds me-- salsa. THANK YOU TO WHATEVER PLANET FOR CREATING SALSA.

The end. Closing time. Good night and good luck, America!

[if your character wants to find him in-person, it's not hard. he's the rather large pile of armor shouting at his communicator, which is placed on a nearby chair.]

Comments

text

[droprate]

Did they put your chip in wrong, or are you always like this?

continues shouting at text

[bludicrous]

Chips! Yes, that is a great idea, if only we can find something to dip them in!

video;

[geonomy]

[... Wow. This guy is... wow. Where does he even start with this?]

Are you... from America? [That, let's start with that, since he did mention America there.]

[bludicrous]

[proudly:]

No! I am from the moon.

You have a hat on that looks like the kind people wear at casinos. Oh, I want a five! And a three! And a six. And a two. That is my lucky number.

[flickerflash]

[APPLAUSE

That's it, that's the tag.]

[bludicrous]

Uh! Thank you!! [does a short bow]

video

[repths]

Salsa? Do you enjoy it that much?

[It's good to be grateful to people. This is overdoing it a little though....]

[bludicrous]

Well, not as much as Grif, but it is pretty good. Better than guacamole for sure. Also better than mayonnaise. And ranch... and mustard... and ketchup... and butter... [pensively:] You should not put butter on tacos.

audio;

[feathery]

[What is this and why is it Davesprite's new favorite thing.]

Dude, salsa is fucking boss. Without them, tacos would never be the same. Kind of on short supply with both here, though. It sucks.

[bludicrous]

Maybe, since we are in space, we could make salsa out of comets. They are hot, right??

[and as everyone knows, that's the only ingredient you need when you make salsa. "hot".]

Video

[onlyburnhotter]

Aw man, I didn't know we were supposed to get space suits! How come I didn't get one?

[bludicrous]

Space suits?!! Where!!!!

Video

[bothbarrels]

[ He doesn't know Caboose but he recognizes simulation armor. He's not wearing his helmet when he appears on the feed but the shoulders of his armor will be visible. ]

I think salsa was an Earth invention. It's old enough.

[bludicrous]

[do you mean... that... purple armor!!!!!]

Doc! Hi! Hi Doctor! DOC HI!

[only one person in the entire universe can have purple armor]

I did not think you looked like that for some reason! Also you sound different! But hi Doc!!!!!

video

[invigorates]

[ the most important question: ]

...What is Taco Tuesday?

[bludicrous]

It is when there is a Tuesday, and there are tacos. Ahh. Yeah. So great!

[several fundamental details were missed here]

[action]

[theoniongirl]

[she wouldn't have her own mysterious arrival until the next morning and so, fortunately or not, missed Caboose's shouting match with...himself. But she'll still have plenty of wide-eyed surprise for him when she wanders back to the Hospitality Deck from one of her exploratory forays and finds his(temporarily) intimidating figure]

Oh!

[she stops still, uncertain, in the mouth of one of the exiting hallways.]

[bludicrous]

[Caboose turns around. Oh x2. Some lady! He waves at the stranger.]

Hello! Your hair is really big and fluffy.

[............ he's used to helmet hair]

[bryces_pup]

[Well, Atroma certainly knows how to bring in a diverse bunch.]

Are you... all right? [Because she's pretty sure he's not.]

And what kind of armor are you wearing? [She mutters that last part, not necessarily intended for him to hear it.]

[bludicrous]

I am all right! One time I was in a place where it was all left! It was kind of weird. I mean, everything was on the left! How exactly did that happen? Was it maybeeee... ancient aliens?!!

Video

[i_got_this]

[She just stares for a long few moments. This South hasn't yet had the pleasure of meeting Caboose - either at Paradisa or from her own timeline - but she is familiar with Church. He'd been one of her closest friends, although she'd deny it and break your arm for insinuating it. Also, that armor is hella familiar.]

Oh you have got to be a Sim Soldier. There's just no way they'd let anyone else that stupid have armor that good.

[She's dressed in civvies, but on a shelf behind her is a Mark VI helmet, in brilliant magenta and green.]

[bludicrous]

["sim soldier"... hm... that sounds oddly familiar...





ah. nope. caboose does not get any bells rung in his unfortunate head.]

Ohhhhh you must mean Simon. Here is not here right now! But I am! Hi lady who looks like she wants to punch something I'm Caboose!!! I see you are, ah, Purple Team. [he says that like he's conversing about some deep important secret or something.]

[video]

[shoujoreject]

[Oh goodness. This guy is.... is...... well, he's Caboose. Qing doesn't know anything about that, though. Remarkably, he doesn't look nearly as skeptical as he is, tugging on his blouse before speaking.]

Well, I'm not sure I would thank anyone just yet... you are stuck on a space reality TV show, as it were. [A beat.] And yes, salsa was created on Earth. [He sounds as small and feminine as he looks, which will no doubt go over splendidly here.




Almost as splendidly as when Caboose tries to pronounce his name.]

[bludicrous]

Ohhhhhh. Well that explains a lot. [whuh]

Thank you miss lady! For everything! [buh]

[nextlineis]

I think you're supposed to save the speech for when you win. If you win.

[How anyone wins here though? Joseph sure as hell doesn't know. He didn't even know reality TV was a thing until he got here.]