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Who: Uchiha Sasuke
Broadcast: Fleetwide!
Action: Marsiva
When: This very moment.

(broadcast)

[ Sure there are bound to be the occasional less-than-thrilling broadcasts but this one may be a new low, with the camera focused in on a nondescript blob that turns out -- with some acquired distance -- to be a knee. The feed shakes then and there's the loud metallic tap tap of the device being knocked against the framework of one of the generic cots aboard the Marsiva. Tap. Tap. Tap. The only other sound is that of the painfully bland music in the background, without a word being spoken.

At least this inept user finally turns the communicator around to inspect it at another angle, granting any viewer a flash of dark and impractically spiked hair before the camera then focuses on equally shadowed eyes and a severe expression.

No, he's not going to panic. He probably already did that internally before he even tried to figure out the communicator ~~less than successfully~~. Send aid. ]

(action)

[ Sasuke will be easy to encounter either sitting on that cot and fiddling with his communicator, exploring the bay thoroughly, or staring with incredible and difficult-to-read intensity out into the murky void of space. Godspeed. ]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[ he almost moves to be brutally honest (my family), but even zuko has the tact to realize that might be too much. and he considers it for a moment, settling back against the wall. ]

The old ruler of my nation.

[ my father. the murderer of his mother, probably. currently without his ability to firebend, in jail for the rest of his life. my sister. insane, unbalanced. chained, because she can't be trusted to be free. ]

He was tearing my world apart, and needed to be stopped. We succeeded.

[ but, before sasuke can ask another question, if he so chooses -- ]

I can tell you more after you're settled on a ship.

[ Sasuke immediately gives images to the words but the people he can envision that were tearing his world apart were his own relatives... and himself. The thought that Zuko apparently already knows that weighs him down and serves to do nothing much more than potentially deepen the dark circles under constantly over-stressed eyes.

He hates being at a disadvantage, and more than that he despises invasions of his private history. ]

Aa. None of it's changing now... It can wait.

It can wait.

[ in quiet agreement -- but sasuke seems to have gotten what was bothering him out of the way, and zuko has given him enough to think about. so he switches subjects. ]

While you're on the Marsiva, I'd take advantage of the food and facilities. You won't have something as nice again for awhile. Explore and stretch. The ships are a lot smaller than the main one.

[ what else, what else ]

You should be shuffled in two or three days, so you have a decent amount of time to look around. Enjoy the privacy while you still can.

[ while zuko loves his friends, the ships are confining. the marsiva is infinitely less claustrophobic. ]

I'm accustomed to being kept in a small place with unbearable people. [ He did live in various cavelike tunnel hideouts with Orochimaru and Kabuto for two and a half years, to say nothing of dealing with Karin and Suigetsu at any point. Juugo, the occasionally homicidal maniac, was the most tolerable one. ]

But I will. Already I feel too lazy just sitting here and doing nothing.

... not that you would understand that. [ l o l look he's developed a really terrible sense of humor. ]

[ well zuko doesn't think most of the people are unbearable, and he's about to open his mouth and say that -- ]

The people here aren't --

[ did uchiha sasuke just tell a joke ]

-- you're right, I wouldn't.

[ god this is such a weird week ]

I'm sure your new ship will be thrilled to have the fourteen course meal you'll make when you get there, though.

[ two can play at that game douchebag ]

[ If it doesn't involve mocking someone he hasn't mastered it yet. ]

Whatever I prepare will be more useful than going to your special room for counsel, right?

Just because you have an augment doesn't mean you're any good at what you're supposed to do, so don't hold your breath on being useful yet.

[ xo ]

And at least I get a special room.

[ this has devolved into a completely mature conversation ]

I've known how to cook for years. [ I was living alone at age eight, thanks for the memories, man, THANKS ]

If you don't know how, you're pathetic. Don't project the uselessness of your role onto me.

You can know how to do something but not excel at it.

[ firelord zuko is having supreme douche uchiha sasuke cook for him if it is the last thing he does tyvm ]

But I'll be waiting for you to prove me wrong. Your attitude isn't going to help your crew mates like you very much, so you may as well provide something.

[ ALSO HE WAS AN ARISTOCRAT SO FUCK YOU HE NEVER LEARNED HOW TO COOK except in ba sing se and adstring and now he can survive for the most part thanks ]

[ SASUKE WAS FROM A NOBLE FAMILY TOO they just all shuffled off the mortal coil too early. ]

How they feel about me won't make a large difference in the long run. Like I said, I don't plan to start fights. [ Though whether he plans for it or not clearly doesn't mean it won't happen. ] I'll do my job and I'll do it well. I don't half-ass projects that I set my mind to.

Then any ship would be happy to have you.

[ so long as you don't open your mouth ]

Mine is missing a cook, but you've already ticked off Allen.

[ apparently ]

He'll have to learn to live with his anger like the rest of us. [ It shouldn't just be us antagonists left with hoisting that burden, okay. ]

Or do you believe the impetus is on me to make him comfortable?

[ zuko would agree except his uncle raised him better than that ok ]

. . . If someone were that angry with me, I would want to know why. And I would want to fix it.

[ honestly. ]

But what I think isn't really what matters here.

[ it's what sasuke thinks, and what he wants to do. and judging from his first statement, zuko is pretty sure sasuke is clear on how he feels about it. ]

I've generally found people pretty forgiving, though.

[ ... they're hedging back into difficult territory so quickly but he refuses to look away. ]

I know why he's angry with me. He's close to Ino, after all, and my actions caused her and the rest of the village pain. All that I can do that will matter is to show through my actions that I've changed.

I'm not going to beg for approval or forgiveness, because I'm not seeking instant gratification. I expect a difficult road.

[ redemption is a difficult road. zuko is certain he'll be on it for the rest of his life -- and it is difficult territory, and zuko can feel the tension, but there's a mutual quiet understanding. even if sasuke doesn't know zuko's story, he knows that zuko knows his. and zuko understands, on a personal level, how difficult this can be.

zuko's friends forgave him, but it wasn't instant. he had to earn their trust, particularly katara's, in order to be accepted. but zuko has the even harder job of forgiving himself, and finding his own peace. he's gotten better at it, and he's grown to understand why he made the choices that he did, but it doesn't help erase the pain his family has caused, or zuko's part to play in that. ]

... it is difficult.

[ finally. sasuke is sharing, so zuko can share a little too. ]

Who knows if it ever ends, but moving forward is all that really matters. People see it, in the end.

{ he pauses. ]

It's the right answer, anyway.

[ what sasuke said. ]

Aa. [ After a short pause. ]

Forgiveness isn't necessary. [ For one reason and one reason only: forgiveness implies that Sasuke wants to overcome his guilt and move forward to greater happiness, but that's never been his priority. His form of redemption involves avoiding past mistakes and making more objectively informed decisions for the future, one that will contain fewer children that had grown up the way he did.

It's not about 'moving on', not yet. Not when he has other priorities. ]

It's why I'm not going to try to 'fix' things with him, not now. Things may change in the future, but if I'm imitating some kind change for the purpose of popularity then it isn't genuine evidence of the man I want to be now.

[ zuko is quiet for a long moment after that, and he isn't quite so good as sasuke at masking how he feels. he looks conflicted, like he wants to say something -- but rethinks it, and draws in a quiet breath, letting it out slowly.

as always, the action soothes his feelings, and he seems to figure out a better way of what he wanted to say. ]

Who you want to be and who you are usually aren't too far away from one another. Sometimes your path gets disrupted and you stray away from where you're supposed to go, but the difference between failure and success is how willing you are to continue on the path you're supposed to be on, no matter what.

[ it took a long time for zuko to realize that his father was never going to approve of him, his sister was never going to love him, and his mother was probably never going to return. and it took him even longer for zuko to realize that he would be okay without all of that, so long as he stayed on the correct path. ]

So long as you're willing to keep going, regardless of what's in your way, you'll get forgiveness. Either from yourself or from the people you hurt.

[ zuko is still working on the first part. but the second part, he's done a fairly good job. ]

[ In some very small part of himself that he'd likely not be able to acknowledge consciously anytime soon, Sasuke thinks that perhaps Zuko's augment isn't the worst choice for him after all. And what a change that would be, from a naive prince to a violent outcast to a misguided youth to someone who's slowly able to become more like the advice-giving uncle who'd also made terrible mistakes once. ]

I agree.

But if your motivation is to be alleviated of guilt right away then you either don't comprehend the scope of what you've done or you're still thinking selfishly. It's... easy to look at the world and compare yourself to others, to notice how unfair life has been to you in comparison.

And yet taking action only for yourself, to alleviate your individual pain, brings back nothing you lost and serves to introduce more suffering into that uneven world. [ It's obvious that he's thought about this a Lot, regardless of how many of his crimes were actually about himself and how many were about his family. Zuko seems like he might understand the difference between those two, too. ]

What you lost isn't coming back, but you can't ignore that you lost it in the first place.

[ zuko says that much with great certainty, because that had been his entire problem. he lost his mother, he lost his family, he lost his title. he lost his home, and his position. he lost his aristocracy, and his throne. he lost everything, but instead of accepting it as lost, he pursued it. endlessly. violently. and eventually, zuko truly lost everything in an attempt to get something back he never had in the first place.

rebuilding that has not been easy, and zuko is endlessly grateful that he has people in his life that support him when he wants to quit. iroh and aang -- their presence here is sorely missed, and a hole that isn't filled, but he has katara, and sokka, and toph here. the rest of the members of the blue fish, too, help him when zuko feels like he can't really deal with what's inside his head. and at home, he has even more people.

but all of that can't replace what's lost. zuko has had to deal with that on his own. ]

It isn't selfish to be angry that something was unfairly taken away from you, and it's not selfish to want it back. But you can't let it consume you. It'll just destroy you, or take pieces away that you can't get back. And putting yourself back together once you've let yourself fall that far is difficult, but possible. Forgiveness, and attempting to confront your own guilt, is a part of that.

Aa, but neither of us would be able to speak to each other with this much clarity if we hadn't let it "consume" us, isn't that right? That part's assumed. [ Blunt but completely honest, just like Sasuke tends to be. ]

I never asked enough questions before I acted. If I was doing what was right, if I had enough information, if it was worth it. Now what I want is to gather more information, to learn how I can best apply the skills I still have. That takes priority over anything else... and if I can learn things about humanity here that I can take back home, I'll consider it worthwhile.

It doesn't take much for a fire to spread.

[ which is his way of quietly agreeing. zuko had managed to pull himself out of it, and find himself again, before he truly harmed anyone... but if he hadn't had iroh, or his friends, he surely would have been just as lost as sasuke was. if not worse. ]

[ but his posture relaxes slightly after that, and while he doesn't smile, his expression is a little less serious. ]

At least you asked questions.

[ a little dryly. ]

But it sounds like you're on the right path now. I believe what you say.

[ and zuko knows, from past experience, that sasuke is (more or less) a good person. deep down underneath all that trauma. somewhere. ]

You came with a bias that made you easy to convince. [ It sounds dismissive but in reality it's just another of his harmless jabs. ]

Ino's the same way, but... I believe she doesn't know everything. I don't know if it's wise for me to tell her or necessary that I do.

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