(no subject)

[ino]

Who: Ino & you!
Broadcast: Yes, fleetwide
Action: Three Twins, if you want
When: Today!

[ The video feed opens with a very irritable-looking blonde. She pinches the bridge of her nose for a moment, summoning the will to not just scream at everyone over the network ... and then there's a very long-suffering sigh as she looks up at the camera. ]

All right. Fine. I shouldn't have to say this, but since apparently some of you have serious issues and don't understand how creepy and perverted you're being, I'm going to.

I'm sure most of you remember the media files we got after that whole episode with the Marsiva. If you don't, everyone had some files uploaded to the network that were ... things from their home world? Things they might like? I don't know, something like that.

Anyways, I don't know why people keep nosing around in my file, but whatever. You're curious, I get it, they're public files, whatever. But whoever started PASSING THE DAMN THING AROUND to strangers needs to find a hobby. And stop before you send it to an actual child's mailbox! It's inappropriate!

[ She huffs, her fists clenched at her sides after that little bit of ranting. ]

And for the record, no, I don't enjoy that piece of crap, someone from my world happened to write it, and I guess Atroma thought it would be funny to give it to me.

Just -- find something better to do with your time, all right? Don't make me hunt you down. [ Is there a way to do that? She has no idea, but she'll act like she does! ]

Comments

[falconing]

You're not even gonna say please?

[ but you know what anakin just 'cause he likes you so much

he sends over the file.

ino can murder him all she likes but it's fucking worth it. ]

Suit yourself, Jedi Master. I'm not saying it out loud, there's children present.

[ino]

[ WHAT THE HELL, HAN. ]

If you're behind all this I am seriously going to kill you.

[falconing]

I wish I could take the credit, but I'm not the one who found it. Some anonymous brat sent it to me.

[ pause ]

And Anakin deserves it, he's lived a lonely life.

[ take one for the team ino ]

[ino]

[ So they're too much of a coward to show their face, huh? She files that one away, planning to scroll back through the network to see what she can find that's anonymous.

In the meantime ... ]

... I guess he does kinda look a little too old to have never read something like that before.

[falconing]

Jedi suffer from a severe lack of fun in their lives.

[ informatively

everything han solo says is 100% true all the time ]

You're doing him a favor.

[ino]

And what is a Jedi, exactly? Some kind of priest?

[ That's the only thing she can think of where they're not allowed to do sexy things ... ]

[falconing]

Sort of. Close enough.

[ peacekeeping priests, anyway ]

I'm sure stick-in-the-mud Skywalker will write you a novel about them if you ask, though.

[ino]

I'll be sure to ask him about it.

[ Right after he spills the deets on your mysterious ass ]

Honestly, though, if that's the first book of that type he's ever read, it's bound to give him the wrong idea.

[sandhate]

[ You know what. ]

Just so you both know, I'm married. I got married at 19, I never needed to ...read "adult novels".

[ino]

[ OH NO THAT'S REALLY CUTE. She grins, less mischievous and more in admiration this time. ]

Aww. Your wife must be very lucky, then!

[falconing]

Or bored.

[ lmao this is the best day of han's life ]

[sandhate]

[ shit. shittt. did you just talk shit about padme. and his relationship with her. ]

You better stay on your ship, Solo. I'm not much of a Jedi these days.

[sandhate]

I wouldn't say that. I thought I was the luckier one.

If you've seen her, you would say the same thing.

[ino]

She didn't come along with you, huh ...

What's her name?

[sandhate]

What did I just say!? Did I not say I don't want to know about it in detail?

Are you deaf and stupid?

[falconing]

No, bored and enjoying your suffering is more like it.

[ NO TAKE-BACKSIES ANAKIN ]

But you've got your answers, do what you want with 'em. Ino doesn't need to explain it to you.

[sandhate]

[ what, was the olive branch covered in shit. is that it. screw your shitty olive branch ]

Bored and ruining someone else's efforts in containing a situation, involving children. That's great, Solo. Have fun with your life.

IGET TO USE THIS ICON FDHSJKN

[falconing]

[ WAIT A MOMENT BECAUSE HAN IS JUST ]

I'm ruining someone else's efforts in containing a situation involving children?

[ BRO

B R O

ARE YOU EVEN LISTENING TO YOURSELF RIGHT NOW ]

use this icon for more irony

[sandhate]

[ HE CAN'T LISTEN TO ANYTHING ELSE BUT AT HOW AWFUL YOU ARE ]

What else are you doing?

[falconing]

I'm not the one asking for a definition on a public feed, at least I sent it over privately.

[ GOD ]

The kids on my ship are well taken care of, thanks.

[sandhate]

I asked for a vague definition so I know what I need to look out for.

It doesn't matter if you sent it privately! I asked you to give me something without the details. You could have complied but you didn't. You thought it would be a good idea to spread it instead?

What is your problem?

1/2

[falconing]

[ holy shit how is this person even real ]

[falconing]

You don't get out much, do you.

[ YEAH THAT'S

ALL HE HAS TO SAY TO THAT ]

[sandhate]

Oh, and I'm sure you get out a lot with your "princesses".

[falconing]

Princess.

[ singular!!!! ]

And I do, actually, I went out with her last night.

[ xo ]