driftfleet | (no subject)

Who: Ino & you!
Broadcast: Yes, fleetwide
Action: Three Twins, if you want
When: Today!

[ The video feed opens with a very irritable-looking blonde. She pinches the bridge of her nose for a moment, summoning the will to not just scream at everyone over the network ... and then there's a very long-suffering sigh as she looks up at the camera. ]

All right. Fine. I shouldn't have to say this, but since apparently some of you have serious issues and don't understand how creepy and perverted you're being, I'm going to.

I'm sure most of you remember the media files we got after that whole episode with the Marsiva. If you don't, everyone had some files uploaded to the network that were ... things from their home world? Things they might like? I don't know, something like that.

Anyways, I don't know why people keep nosing around in my file, but whatever. You're curious, I get it, they're public files, whatever. But whoever started PASSING THE DAMN THING AROUND to strangers needs to find a hobby. And stop before you send it to an actual child's mailbox! It's inappropriate!

[ She huffs, her fists clenched at her sides after that little bit of ranting. ]

And for the record, no, I don't enjoy that piece of crap, someone from my world happened to write it, and I guess Atroma thought it would be funny to give it to me.

Just -- find something better to do with your time, all right? Don't make me hunt you down. [ Is there a way to do that? She has no idea, but she'll act like she does! ]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Yup. Fucking puppets, man. Literally.

[His voice is so flat.]

This is comparatively tame to the shit you could find on the web. I mean maybe it cranks the kink factor up later on, but I dunno if I foresee it ascending to anime levels. [He just kind of skimmed the file, tbh.]

[ THAT IS SO FUCKED UP. He may have actually made her speechless for a moment here. ]

Th-that's disgusting ... !

I haven't read the majority of it so I don't know. I just know there's enough in there for it to be inappropriate for kids to be reading.

[SORRY INO...]

Huh, yeah. [Davesprite doesn't really know what's actual, appropriate reading for kids, so he's going to defer.] Maybe you should see if you can slap a content rating on there. Atroma's gotta be into those, right, if they have kids in the hypothetical audience. It'd keep all the preteens I met here from venturing too far into the porn hole, anyway.

A content rating?

[ Hmm ... ]

I didn't know they did those for books.

I've got no fucking idea, to be honest. Books aren't exactly my forte. But it's as good a time as any to appropriate them from the nearest DVD.

Well, even if I did do something like that, I can't edit the copies of it, I don't think? Someone else started sending it out to people, so those copies are all stuck the way they are, right?

[ She does not know how computers work. ]

Yeah, I guess in that case you're boned.

[What is phrasing. What is tact.]

Anyone else who was curious probably just downloaded it now, too, so you got a fuckin' unattended army of uncensored ninja porn rolling around the network. This is legit the darkest timeline.

[ She just sighs heavily. ]

Great. Just great.

Could be worse. [...] Maybe. You could have inspired a seven-year-old to commit e-sleuthing crimes worthy of copyright enforcement.

... What's an e-sleuth?

[ Is her translator broken? None of those words made sense ... ]

Someone who's got the passkey to all your filthiest smut. A porn pirate. The basest of internet scum. Besides trolls, but trolls are a whole separate matter that don't deserve discussion.

... So they steal people's porn?

[ She's still lost. Sorry Davesprite. ]

They steal your porn and mail it to your boss and coworkers for extra embarrassment points.

Okay, I need to hear more about puppet porn. Like, my life depends on it.

Oh, christ. I mean. Are you sure.

Can we not? Or at least, take it to a private conversation?

I'm blameless in this debacle.

[Never mind he brought up...the puppet porn...]

Okay, okay. I'll abstain. Besides, I think I've heard enough about porn today to begin with.

[This comment coming from after her very celibate boyfriend popped into the conversation.]

[That gets a soft snort from Davesprite.]

At least you're not really missing anything besides the mandatory psychological horror that comes along with puppets. But you could watch like Labyrinth or the Muppets for that.

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