/takes the huntress out back and buries it (jan mingle pt. II)

[scrubscrub]

Who: Anyone on the SS Huntress! Crew and visitors.
Broadcast: N/A
Action: SS Huntress
When: More of January! We got three new crew mates and it will be messy.

IT'S ANOTHER MINGLE FOR OUR EVER-EXPANDING SHIP.

Also, we need an update on how well Koala is doing at pinball.

God, help this ship.

Comments

[eyeforaneye]

Is that so?

[ His gut instinct is to be cynical, of course, wondering if this is how this man attributes value to himself. Is it self-serving somehow, or just because of his 'Order'? Maybe both. ]

In that case, answer another question for me. When do you consider someone beyond saving?

[beardstrokes]

[ Briefly his mind flashes back to Darth Maul, Maul who had killed so many people, people Obi-Wan had loved just to hurt him back. To turn him Dark.

But Maul was someone used as a child. He could see the truth as clear as day. ]

I . . . I wouldn't.

[ His voice is a little hoarse but unwavering. ]

I do not believe there is anyone beyond saving. But I also believe in the choice that we make.

I made the choice to reach out. The rest . . . is up to them.

[eyeforaneye]

So you would allow them to potentially continue to harm others, damage the peace you care about so much, instead of cutting them down early on when they'd crossed a line that you're unable to define?

[ Maybe he's asking for too much. ]

[beardstrokes]

[ Firmly. ]

You're mistaking my belief for chances as an excuse to let them do whatever they want. I am more than capable of cutting someone down or restraining them if the need arises.

Is that what you want? For me to cut you down when you lose your way?

[eyeforaneye]

[ What could be a threat is instead taken as something like a comfort, sharing a similar worldview when someone very close to him had for years exemplified the exact opposite.

And people had indeed died because Naruto hadn't taken action against him earlier. ]

No, that's no longer necessary. It sounds like you would've killed me a long time ago.

[beardstrokes]

[ He smiles faintly, tinged with sadness ]

I probably would have.

[eyeforaneye]

[ Well this has been cheery. ]

Then you're wiser than most people I know.

[beardstrokes]

I have paid for it. I have learned from it.

And you're digressing.

[eyeforaneye]

I'm following this thread of the conversation to its natural conclusion because it's interesting to me.

At what point would you take action?

[beardstrokes]

Probably any time before a life is taken, if I can act quickly enough.

[ He gets why Sasuke is asking all of this, but he's pretty sure his intentions are clear by now. ]

[eyeforaneye]

Do you make that decision yourself or do you address it with others first?

[ Obi-Wan's icons just go from Done to More Done. ]

[beardstrokes]

[ Hm. He strokes his beard. ]

That depends on how much time I have. I would ask the Council for their input, but if time is short, I would act on my own terms.

[eyeforaneye]

... do you have any regrets?

[beardstrokes]

At times. But I try not to hold onto them.

[ To hold onto regrets is not the Jedi way. It's easier said than done, but Obi-Wan has managed so far. ]

[eyeforaneye]

How incredibly convenient, you can duck around blame all you like with that kind of philosophy. [ A pause. ]

But that's a way of thinking that focuses on the self. If you see yourself as a tool or part of a collective whole then you don't have the time for unproductive guilt, I suppose.

[ Sasuke has time for his guilt, always, but he's also trying to move towards an existence that focuses on utility instead of feeling. It's a hard line to walk. ]

[beardstrokes]

You're confusing guilt for responsibility. I take the responsibility, but the guilt means that I'm thinking about myself, not on the situation. It's a cheap way of self-flagellation.

When people get hurt or die and I spend that time feeling guilty for myself, I reduce those people into nothing more than pawns for my feelings.

People deserve better than that.

[eyeforaneye]

I agree, but avoiding any internal expression of remorse has a similar effect.

You're reducing human lives to a chance to sweep back your emotions and in doing so there's a lack of touch with humanity itself. If you can't respect that emotions are also part of being human, how can you respect the humans that have been hurt as a result of your actions? You aren't above them.

Don't you think you deserve to suffer?

[beardstrokes]

[ Firmly. ]

Remorse is not guilt. Sadness is not guilt.

[ If he blamed himself for what happened to Qui-Gon, Adi, Satine . . . those many important people who died because they supported him, believed in him, he would take away who those people were. And they were important in their own right. Obi-Wan did not lose them, though the loss is there. They deserve better than a pedestal in Obi-Wan's remorse. ]

What I deserve is not for me or anyone else to say. It is important to feel, but it is also important to let go.

You speak of reducing human lives, but you're only thinking of yourself so far. Your guilt, your actions, your self-esteem. You have not spoken of a single other person.

[eyeforaneye]

They aren't the same, no, because one includes blame on the head of a person that actually committed the action. I agree that there are times when any of them can be unproductive, but it feels wrong to entirely strike one from consideration.

As for speaking about myself... My goal right now is to understand my own path. It necessitates self-reflection even if I'd prefer that it didn't.

[beardstrokes]

You won't get very far by simply focusing on yourself. Especially when listening to other people could offer the views you need to find your own path. Isn't that why you're questioning me to begin with?

Perhaps. But as a Jedi, it is not something I am meant to do.

[ Whether it is a luxury or wrong, Obi-Wan isn't willing to say. And if Sasuke thinks he's inhuman, well . . . he's not the first. ]

[eyeforaneye]

Yes, that's why.

[ They've certainly come far enough in this conversation that he can be honest about that, anyway. ]

I want to benefit my world, but first I want to ensure that my actions are the correct ones. It's too easy to get lost in self-approval just because you're moving forward without taking the time to be sure that that direction is the right one.

It involves answering difficult questions, so I wanted to see how you did at it.

[beardstrokes]

[ He chuckles, though his heart is not into it. ]

I have ample experience in that area. If it's information, I can provide it. Guidance, support . . . it is what we do. But we do not choose for others. Self-determination is key.

[eyeforaneye]

So your advice is for me to question myself and individually determine my own path, but not to focus on myself?

[ Solid advice, but confusing as hell. ]

[beardstrokes]

Well. Too much focus leads to self-doubt, guilt . . . some of the problems you're already aware of.

Your path will always intersect with the paths of others. Use that to your advantage and the answers you want will come to you.

[eyeforaneye]

[ ugggh but I hate people, damn it, Obi-Wan ]

... is this normally how your first conversations with people go?