driftfleet | (no subject)

Who: A ~mysterious anonymous poster~ and you
Broadcast: Anonymous text
Action: In her room on the Bishop, if you really want to say hello
When:

[It's taken Nightingale a while to figure out how to make the anonymous text function work, and even longer to decide it's worthwhile to post. Still, she doesn't have anything else to do, and this has been eating at her for a while...]

I realized recently it's been over a year since I was last home. Over a year since I've ever seen anyone from my world, even. And that year has been kind of a mess. Now I'm two crazy worlds removed from home, and it's not looking like I'll get to go back anytime soon. It's just now really starting to sink in. I'm starting to get homesick, I guess. But I know there's a bunch of people here who have been here even longer than I have. Or have a lot more pressing things to get back to. So... How do you cope? How can you deal with this for so long? After this long, my usual distractions aren't really working so well anymore.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Well it's a long story, but I haven't exactly aged since I've left home...when I was 16.

Age wasn't quite what I meant.

Oh, so you mean in a general sense?

[A pause]

No, I haven't worried about that. It's...pointless to worry about that. No matter what you do, people change, after all. It'd be absurd if I kept trying to be just how I was when I was 16 for someone else's sake.

Pointless, huh... You're not wrong. But it's still hard to make myself believe it. You're really strong, aren't you? Mentally.

Ah...I don't really think so.

I just want to live. So I keep going. That's all there is to it.

That's strong. I sure can't do that.

Yes you can!

You're alive now aren't you?

Undead, if we want to get technical, I think.

That doesn't matter. It means you're still here, choosing to live. That's important!

You're just trying to find ways to belittle yourself. Stop that.

If it was as easy as stopping just because I was told to, I wouldn't really be having these problems.

See, there you go again. Trying to argue so you don't have to change.

Changing is hard, I know it is. But it's even harder if you try to fight against it every step of the way.

I don't know how to do anything else. I know that sounds like another excuse. And a shitty, cliched one on top of that. But I really don't.

[a pause]

How about start with small steps. Maybe...next time your mind tries to tell you that you can't do something....correct it and say "maybe I can".

Usually, when I have to make a judgement call like that, lives are on the line. It's frightening to do that, and risk being wrong.

[There's a short pause before she can send the next part, though, as she has to force herself to even think it.]

But I'll try.

...Thank you.

And if it means anything, I believe in you.

[He knows that this is a big scary thing to deal with. It's easier to knock yourself down than to get up and try. But...it's important step. Hopefully, itll help her in the long run]

Even though you don't know who I am? Thank you.

Yep! Even then!

[Though he has a strong guess to who, considering the way she kept arguing and claimed to be undead...]