004 - If That Isn't Love

[preformthisneigh]

Who: Cheese and YOU
Broadcast: Fleetwide
Action: The Bishop
When: Sometime before Belth's meltdown

[The video falls on the grinning-like-a-lunatic pony. Guess what time it is! It's pony holiday story time!!!]

Heya everypony! Happy Valentines day. Back where I come from, we call this Hearts and Hooves Day. Buuut that doesn't really work here given that I'm the only one with hooves. Hopefully everyone has a heart of some description though. ANYhoo. We celebrate this day pretty much the same as they do on Earth. Spending time with our special somepony, hearts, flowers, yadda yadda.

[He's forever alone, it's not important to him.]

The story of how it came to be is waaaay different though. OKAY so a loooong looong time ago a prince created a love potion to give to a princess he loved. He wanted her to love him back. Unfortunately it turned out to be a love poison and it made the two so lost in each others eyes that they couldn't perform their royal duties. There was a dragon and the kingdom fell, chaos reigned. It was the worst.

Luckily there was an antidote. The prince and princess had to be kept from looking into one another's eyes for a whole hour. Then the love curse broke and everything began to be restored once again. And from that day on everypony celebrated that day as one of love because-

[He taps his chin with a forehoof.]

...Actually I'm not sure. It's not really a romantic story when you think about it. I don't know what the moral is. Don't force love? Don't drink a suspicious drink that your stalker gave you? I dunno. We made a holiday with it anyway. So enjoy that, if you have a special somepony and be glad they didn't poison you? Yeah.

Comments

Re: video;

[universal_charm]

_{[ He's reached the state of acceptance and rolling with it by now. ]}

Okay, sisters, rule together, one during the day and one during the night. Got it.

video;

[preformthisneigh]

[That's the absolute best way to handle this. ]

Okay. So a thousand years ago, Luna became bitter. Ponies played in the daytime, but slept during the night. She began to feel that she wasn't as loved, as wanted as her older sister. The bitterness grew and grew until it turned her into something else. Nightmare Moon.

Re: video;

[universal_charm]

_{[ He wants to protest on the point of a pony living a thousand years, but reminds himself that their year could be incredibly short compared to an Earth year. Such measurements were relative, after all. ]}

Little sister feels unloved, so her jealousy turns her into a monster, got it.

[preformthisneigh]

[Sadly he really does mean an actual thousand years. Alicorns and their gosh darn immortality. ]

Nightmare Moon refused to lower the moon to make way for the sun. Celestia pleaded and begged, tried to get through to her sister, but Nightmare Moon had taken over everything Luna was. They battled, and Celestia ended up having to use an ancient magic in our world to defeat Nightmare Moon - imprisoning her on the moon for a thousand years.

A couple years back, she broke free, I was around for that. She plunged Equestria into an eternal night again. But who would become the new protectors of our realm stopped her, and brought Luna back from the clutches of Nightmare Moon.

[universal_charm]

_{[ Well, that sounds... like it came right out of a YA fantasy novel. Not that Kirk has read any of those, of course not. It's just - well, how's he really supposed to believe that? It sounds to fantastic to be real and he's done some pretty fantastic things. But a man has to draw a line and it had been crossed when Cheese said these alicorns controlled the sun and moon. ]}

And the new protectors would be the little alicorn you named - Twilight, right? Or was it that prince?

_{[ He's got two names down, okay, the other two haven't been said as much and you're kind of confusing him with the whole Luna became Nightmare Moon. ]}

[preformthisneigh]

Well, Twilight is one of the protectors. She became an alicorn. She's the princess of...something. She hasn't figured it out yet. Sure rules with Celestia, Luna and Cadence - she's the princess of love and looks after the Crystal Empire.

[Equestrian history is literally the worst. ]

[universal_charm]

_{[ It really is. ]}

So wait, what's the Crystal Empire? I thought you came from Equestria. Or is Equestria inside of the Crystal Empire which also borders Yakistan?

_{[ He probably got that wrong, but literally this is the worst. ]}

[preformthisneigh]

The Crystal Empire is...it's part of Equestria, but it's at the very edge of our borders. Yakyakistan is near the Crystal Empire.

The Crystal Empire is where the Crystal Heart is, the Crystal Ponies power it and send waves of...goodness??? I guess across the land. I don't really know how it works. It's magic stuff.

[universal_charm]

_{[ This... this all had to be a joke. Surely. How was this... none of this sounded possible, much less real. He kind of thought that the pony might need some therapy, honestly. ]}

Right, magic stuff. Sounds as good an explanation as any.

_{[ No, no it didn't, but frankly he didn't want to deal with the headache of trying to sort it out. Hopefully they had aspirin in stock in the med bay on his ship... ]}

[preformthisneigh]

[Imagine what it was like for Paradisa residents when they VISITED the place. ]

Yeah, it's a pretty cool place to be. Both metaphorically and literally.

[universal_charm]

_{[ Oh good lord. He'd probably have a mental break down if he was forced to visit. ]}

I'll... have to take your word for it. At the least it sounds interesting.

_{[ Insane, Cheese. He really means insane. ]}

[preformthisneigh]

[It is ABSOLUTELY insane.]

It sure is, I can't wait to get back to it.

[universal_charm]

Well, I hope you return soon. It must be hard being so far from home for so long.

_{[ And you can stay there cause he will never plan to visit, no matter how fascinating a talking horse may be. ]}

[preformthisneigh]

[It's the worst place to live honestly, but he loves it. ]

Yeah, me too. It's been long enough, now.

[universal_charm]

_{[ Oh, well now he feels kind of bad. Regardless of how crazy it all sounded, it was the pony's home. ]}

Well, just keep holding on, okay? I'm sure we'll get out of here - just have to keep your chin up.

[preformthisneigh]

If there's one thing I'm good at, it's keeping my chin up.

[Even when he's faking it. ]

[universal_charm]

Good to hear. Good luck, Cheese.