driftfleet | video

Ah, hello! I'm sorry if I'm interrupting anything; please, don't mind me if I'm troubling you!

[Koala's familiar, unnatural smile has appeared! She seems to be in her black jumpsuit and white tank -- though she's taken to Han Solo's advice and bought a blue dress for herself, which appears to be hanging up in her closet next to her yellow dress. And it appears there is a clown-fish shaped child's mug on her dresser, and a strangely ice-sculpted flower in a pot behind her (thanks, phantom person). It's not much, but it's still a far cry from her plain room from her first few weeks. And not only that, but a new revelation! She has a pillow with a cat on the pillowcase! GRANTED IT'S A VERY ODD CHOICE FOR AN ELEVEN-YEAR-OLD... but hey, progress!

Still clean as hell, though. She's clearly just gotten finished with her chores, wiping her bangs out of her face. They've been growing out a little, getting in her eyes.]

I - I wasn't sure if I should say, before, but... That is, I wasn't sure if I would be punished for it, when I arrived here! But now I am trying to listen to Mr. Zuko and the others, and... and try not to think like a slave! So I will not stay quiet when I have questions! Forgive me if that is very straightforward of me.

I was wondering, um. If you have a burn, and it is not... If it's healed, but it itches badly sometimes, what... should you do?

S--sometimes it is when I am working, but it can also be when I sleep; some nights it itches so fiercely, I have trouble falling asleep!

The first time it happened, I was not allowed to say anything, but... But now, I think I can.

... I'm allowed to, right?

It's okay to ask for help for such a thing, right?

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

It will take time to get used to things, I imagine. Worrying about it won't help much. Besides, you've come quite far already, haven't you?

[... Ah...]

Do you really think so?

I do.

[ And Obi-Wan wouldn't simply say it for the sake of reassuring her. He may be the master of half-truths and hyperbole, but he's not a liar. He delivers it as a simple statement. ]

And I'm sure you'll go further still.

... I hope I'll go further, too...

[She glances over, smiling.]

I want to make everyone proud of me! I know I can be very... strange. And very hard to understand, sometimes! So I would like to be more like — um. More like everyone else. Understanding how things should be.

[ More like everyone else. Obi-Wan has never considered himself as normal, but in light of that, perhaps he was.

But he was a slave once too. ]

I don't think you're strange.

[...!]

You don't?

[you're just full of revelations for her today, mr. obi-wan]

No.

[ His voice has gone soft. Anakin was a precocious child so sometimes it was easy to forget. But Obi-Wan hasn't forgotten the rare times he raised his voice, or when they struggled with each other. Orders and commands, respect and discipline . . . difficult topics to broach.

For a while, Obi-Wan thought they would never improve - that he and Anakin would never speak the same language.

They did. To some extent. ]

I do not. But mostly because I have some . . . experience in that area.

Edited 2016-03-08 09:16 (UTC)

[She can't help but latch on out of curiosity.]

Experience, sir?

[ He can't talk about Anakin - but talking about his own experiences was harder. People died because of him . . . because he was a Jedi.

( or was it something more insidious, that he was Obi-Wan Kenobi? ) ]

I . . . had to deal with slavers. In the past.

[She hesitates, looking entirely caught off guard.

Could it be...? No, surely not.]

Were you taken by slavers before, Mr. Obi-Wan?

[ Welp. ]

Yes. I was.

[And so simply, the smile she'd worn so adamantly is completely erased.]

Oh... I -- I'm so sorry, Mr. Obi-Wan! I didn't know... I didn't know, but I feel like I should've... I should've known somehow... I'm sorry! I didn't think I'd find someone on the ship like me, and... I've been telling you things you already know so well...

[She's guilty, a little. Wrings her hands in her dress' hem.]

Koala, stop.

[ Now he's feeling guilty. ]

It's not . . . as bad as what you went through. I wasn't one for very long. Just long enough to have a glimpse of what life was like.

[ The only thing that happened to him was he got whipped a lot and other people paid for his defiance with their lives. Nothing about his life is worth the suffering of others. ]

It's... It's still terrible. No matter how big or small the time was...

It always hurts bad.

[She sniffs, rubbing at her eye. She will not cry -- she won't! But something like this is worth crying over more than any sort of pain or discomfort she could have endured. She knows what it feels like. It's a terrible, ugly thing. She could tell it hurt Obi-Wan.]

I'm so sorry, Mr. Obi-Wan. I wish I could fix it for you. I never even considered it.

[ Fix it. He knows that it can't be fixed. You can adjust your world view, let it go piece by piece, but it can never be fixed. Can never be fully taken away.

Jedi make everything worse was the line the Togruta elder had said to him, pushing Obi-Wan away. And looking at Koala now, perhaps . . . he was right. Obi-Wan had no business speaking from the heart. His wounds are paltry, his hurts are old.

He is a Jedi.

Quietly, he bends a little to place his hand on her shoulder, a fragile touch. ]

I know.

[Koala moves forward and wraps her arms around, hugging him close and securely, eyes closed tight in her determination. She's not used to hugging -- anyone anymore. She has saved her real hugs for her mother, when she would see her again, but she knows that Obi-Wan needs it as well.

These things hurt to talk about.]

I can tell it still hurts to think!

I -- I see it because I saw it before...!

But it's okay, Mr. Obi-Wan. Even if it was just a little while, it's the same. They make you feel like it's your fault -- but it's not! I learned. I learned I couldn't stop them from being terrible people, but it didn't mean I was terrible.

And that's the same for you.

[ Physical contact, especially hugs always takes him by surprise. He never knows quite how to react to them. It helps that he's not the kind of person people think to hug on a regular basis.

He had to bite back many instinctive responses. They died because of me, he considers saying, considers putting it in perspective. I watched them die because of me. They were right about me.

But it's not the truth. The Force knows the truth. And Obi-Wan serves the will of the Force. This is how slavery works. He knows it, Anakin knows and Koala knows it. ]

You're right.

[ He smiles faintly. ]

If you think I'm not that terrible, then it can't be true.

[She buries her face in his robe, shaking her head.]

You're not, Mr. Obi-Wan.

I promise. And I very much mean my promises!

[ He gently places a hand over her head, like he used to with Anakin, so long ago. ]

I believe in you.

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